Feel the Sensation with Dr. Laura Berman

Note to readers: mature content on the way. THIS WAS AN AWESOME LEARING EXPERIENCE. I must give Dr. Berman snaps up on teaching an old gurl a new trick (and a new word).   Note to self, remember : sensate focus       Feel the Sensation   If sex is leaving you with a case of the blahs, it's time to get sensate. Sensate focus is a series of specific exercises for couples which encourages each partner to take turns paying increased attention to their own senses. The techniques involved in sensate focus can bring back those tingles and restore the novelty in your sex life, no matter how long you've been together. You will heighten your awareness of each other's bodies by slowing down and discovering new kinds of touch.   To make the most of sensate focus, you should set aside at least an hour of time with no fear of interruption. Make your bedroom warm and relaxing. There should be no talking, since you'll want to focus on enjoying the physical sensations you are feeling. Here's what to do:   Explore touching and stroking each other's bodies — but the breasts and genitals are off-limits. Explore your partner's body for 20 minutes, then switch places. Spend another 20 minutes each massaging each other, but this time include the breasts and genitals. The goal is not arousal — but no worries if it happens! Now try touching and exploring each other's bodies at the same time. Devote a full 20 minutes to this. Again, the focus is not on arousal, but on what feels good while touching and being touched. If you feel inclined (and odds are you will!), move on to having intercourse with a continuing focus on the sensations and connections of the moment. Try sensate focus whenever you feel that your sex life is becoming routine. It'll put you back in touch with the most basic sensations, and give your sex life a much-needed jolt of excitement!