6 Ways to Getting Stress Together On A Budget

You're stressed but you don't go home?

(In our watching your dollars segment, today we're talking about stress and how to cure it without going broke on drugs and alcohol... Or any other monetary vices.)

Every human needs a place of serenity and peace.

They need a safe haven where all is good, nice and pleasant. Where they can let their guard down and there's heaven on earth.

Sometimes we don't know we need it, but we do.

Having a haven of safety in a relationship that you can share with someone is the one of the main reasons we decide to co-habitat with someone else.

Though love hurts and I'm not going to lie, we want to:

1. Share our space with someone
2. Be open with our sacred feelings
3. Connect on a spiritual and emotional level of infinite hope and joy.

The number one killer to unfulfillment is STRESS.

Stress has been a health factor for centuries.

But It's a fact, stress isn't really the killer. It's how you deal with the stress that makes you physically, emotional and spiritually ill.

I personally think Stress should be classified as a disease, bacteria or virus and there should be stress clinics around the US as fruitful as STD clinics to combat not only the stress itself but the side effects that it brings on to the mind, body and soul.

There are ways to release stress by yourself, but couples need to acknowledge and help each other relieve stress.

(Before we go any further, Please remember I'm an intimacy expert. Though I don't have any fancy degree in human relationships, I do think I have a high degree in life experience. Also, when I say we, I'm merely speaking from my own experience and there's just a lot of women out there who would agree with me.)

You're probably thinking, "We'll let's just have sex. That relieves all types of stress."

Actually for women, sex is like a bandaid. If we don't fix the problem it'll still be there after sex. Even more evident because we aren't thinking about anything else except that problem. Men may be the same, but I can only speak for the gender I am.

LOL.

In this day and age, bad news keeps sounding like a broken record playing over and over again. Jobless rates are up and the stock market is down. There are bad days and then there are very bad days.

Curing stress without going broke and without leaving the house takes a little bit of work and a lot of creativity. (For some people it may be the other way around.)

1. Find Sanctuary

There should be a room in your house where you can shut out everything. Including each other. If your place isn't big enough, there should be corners of the bedroom designated where a person can go in the house and not be disturbed. I've heard some couples have scheduled times where they are not to be bothered by anyone - including each other. For me, I usually pick the hour right after I get off of work. Three times a week I like to just go into my bedroom and not be bothered by anything. No tv, phone or human being. I can sleep, write, read or just smell myself. Whatever! It's me time. I learned this the hard way when I almost suffered a nervous breakdown after a stressful incident in my life. I really wanted to nut up and it was all because I didn't have any me time. I used to think I was being selfish by doing this, but my mother assured me that I needed this in order to be a better person for the people I care for.

2. "a spoonful of sugar makes the medicine go down."

In this case laughter and humor are always good to have around.

When you feel the pressure coming on between the two of you, try to lighten the situation.

There's a quote that says you know you really love someone when you want to caress them or hold their hand while you fight.

I do have a tendency to take everything very serious and look for shyte. I'm good for that. But I need someone else to check me on that and lighten up the mood so I won't be so upset. If you know your partner is sensitive about things then find ways to deflate the tension by cajoling and moving away from what's stressing them.

Sometimes you can agree to come back to a subject later. (KEEP THE DATE AND TIME).

My mother says if it doesn't change the price of tea in China, it ain't that serious. I guilty for forgetting this saying when I'm in the thick of stress and I know there are others out there just like me.

When they said "Laughter is the best medicine." They were very right about that.

Laughing releases endorphins giving you a natural high. Practice a lot and practice often finding humor and laughter together so you can get addicted to those natural endorphins. Find ways to make your partner laugh whether they are stressed or not so you can know what they find funny at certain times. That way when the bad times come you'll be able to handle lifting them up just as easy.


3. "Don't wait til the battles over, fight now."

We can almost predict when our partners having a bad day or going to have a bad day before we even see them. You can hear it in their voice, something happened and they are on their way to see you, it rained, it's their deceased parents birthday or day of celebration. You know there's a lot of things that they go through on a regular day that makes it difficult for them just to focus.

Start preparations for the battle in advance. Buy hersey kisses and stick a couple in their lunch. leave it on their pillow. Plan to have a hot bath for them when they walk in the door. Complete with lit candles, no kids and soft music playing. A full body massage from head to toe just because. Their favorite dish to eat waiting for them. cater to them in their time of need and be the shoulder for them to lean on without trying to fix things.

Sometimes women just need an ear. We want to just ramble off all our frustrations like the world is coming to an end and we want you to just listen to our rambling as if we we E.F. Hutton. (If you're a younger crowd reading this, then you never saw the commercials and wouldn't understand this joke.)



4. Be Clear about your stress

A lot of times i bottle things up to myself. I like to avoid confrontation with people i care about so instead of knowingly starting an arguement, I'll pretty much shut up. I know... not good in relieving the stress that it's causing me.

Talking it out most times help, but sometimes the words in my brain are not the words that come out of my mouth.

Remember in high school when you used to sit next to someone while the teacher was talking and pass notes.

Writing things down is a great way for you to get what's really bothering you out to your partner. If you see you partner stresed, sometimes you can initiate the process and pass them a note.

5. Share a spiritual moment together at least once a week.

Take time to pray, read the bible, or meditate together. I've known couples to languish in yoga together. (Sting does it with his wife.)

Make this a ritual, just like your date every month. I say weekly on the spiritual moment because coming together on another level than physical or emotional needs to be charged at least a minimum.

For example, a couple would take turns every night saying prayers with each other. Holding each other hands. Even if it was just the Lord's Prayer it was something they chose to share together.

Simple things like this refresh and reconnect us and pushes stress away.

6. Spend at least once a month, looking over each other's schedule.

A lot of times couples complain about the time they spend together. With today where people are working the benefit job and the dream career at the same time, our schedules tend to be hectic once you mix in the kids, other family members, other responsibilities and other priorities. Mark off the last Sunday afternoon for thirty minutes to look over each other's schedule. Discuss possible changes and thing.

You may not think this is a great suggestion on getting stress free, but actually this is a communication stress reliever because once you know and understand what the other is doing then you aren't so worried or stresed about what that persons doing. Plus, this will give you time to schedule time to spend together and plan things out that need to be done that can cause stress when unplanned.

You know who's paying what bill, who's picking up what child, who's going to the doctor or taking off of work to get something done that needs to be done. These problems are talked out in a calm way as you go over everything you need to do with your partner.

Remember your household is your sanctuary and though you don't think of it like a business, it needs to run like a tight ship. Scheduling yourself will help make sure things are done when they are supposed to be done not just around the house, but with your family and your partner.

When you continue to think of your home as your sanctuary, you want to do things to make sure it stays that way.

Coming home should not be a place of unrest or stress for you and in this day and age, we need to have peace somewhere in our lives.

Why not make it the place you spend the most money on? (Unless you have a really expenses car or SUV.)

For massaging tips you can always download my free guide. Even if you're a woman, you can apply almost the same techniques.

Also, use the Days of Creativity to help keep the intimacy in the relationship, creating a very wonderful stress free day.