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Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Taking Back Mysex ... Myself!

Interesting Convo with an ex-boyfriend...

Before reading about this, I would like to let you know I've been abstaining from sex for the past four months.

So meeting new guys on my new regieme has been very interesting. I mean first before this, I was asking guys for their credit score. It's something wonderful when you have a high credit score and guys talk to you and 1) they don't know their credit score or 2) they are too embarrassed to tell you or 3) they tell you and it's so lower than their shoe size then have the nerve to tell you 'they've been working on it.'

So now that I'm abstaining, there's this even more humorous look when I tell guys I'm practicing celebacy. 1) they say, 'are you serious?' 2) they shake their head in remorse and say, 'what a waste,' 3) they find they have suddenly have to leave. Either way I never hear from them again.

Once I got over the fact that I was doing this, it's become rather good for me. Refreshing and I feel rather sexually free. I know that sounds crazy. Being sexually free and celibate should not be in the same sentence.

But that's what I feel now when I'm talking to guys. There's really no pressure and I feel even more confident in myself.

For the past three months, strangely, I've been getting calls from ex's here and there and I've been giving them the same speech.

Today, I got a text that I just had to share with my readers:

Him: Free up some time

Me: What kind of time

Him: Time to eat.

Me: What'd you have in mind?
(Truly this was me asking innocently.)

Him: Want to eat you.

(You can imagine the blush. After five minutes of thinking over on how to text what I wanted to say, I responded.)

Me: I don't know how to tell you... but I've abstained from sex.

Him: Y

Me: You want honesty or you want me to make something up?

Him: Honest

Me: I got tired of guys thinking about me only when they wanted sex. Need a more emotional and spiritual relationship with a man.

(A few moments passed before he texted.)

Him: wanted 2 be him but your kids didn't like me.

Me: I find that hard to believe. once you get to know them, they are great kids.

Him: No I like them. didn't think they felt i was good enough 4 their mommy.

Me: must be a personal opinion or doubt. when you make me happy and give me a stress free life, you make them happy. equation is simple.

Him: can we talk more after work?

Me: sure

Him: Cool cuz I never want u 2 think I didn't or don't want u

I'll keep you posted in the comments of the updates on this because I find it interesting that he doesn't "want me to think he didn't," when that's what his original text indicated. I haven't spoken to this guy in about five months.

8 people saying something:

MilesPerHour said...

I think you have opened yourself up to "truth". The truth about what you desire in a man. And honesty from the men that have been in your life. I don't doubt you know it already but those playas ain't as smooth as they think they are.

As my GF says, "True colors always come out".

Horus Xero said...

For you to decide on such a change in your life is very courageous of you, especially from the standpoint of today's society. I remember meeting the first woman that told me she was abstaining from sex. It is a certain jolt, but it always depends on the man you tell, because when she told me that it showed me the path to another way of thinking. Now I really don't talk to women just about sex anymore. I try to get to know them without that subject. I listen, I talk, I ask about dreams, aspirations, and I weigh personalities for the connection I seek. It's like getting to know someone has a "sex-prerequisite" now-a-days, and now I know that skipping certain steps may not get you the relationship you seek. So I commend you on the journey you are taking, and pray you find what you seek.

"A person starts to live when (s)he can live outside themselves."

Kahnee said...

That is a cool approach to dating. I've been telling myself that I am going to focus on developing a strong friendship before I have sex, but I probably just need to admit that I'm being celibate.

Simply Said Reading Accessories said...

I have been celibate for over 4 years now. I told my ex I don't like how this is going so I choose not to do it. Of course he tried and tried, but whe I'm done, I'm done. He newest line is.. Ok your now a virgin again and I want to be your first!!! LOL Sorry dude, I'm done. And until I find what I want, I won't!

Escorts London said...

Online dating is now very popular. Yes I know there are millions of dating sites and that poses a problem. Type in ‘dating site reviews’ in Google. There are (thankfully) pretty nifty review site.that make that task pretty easy now as some of you already know. When you sign up to a few (yes a few) make sure you give an honest profile.

London escorts said...

And what is the difference between black women and others? Every woman is individual and should be treated in a special way.

Sylvia Hubbard said...

@LondonEscorts: There really is no difference, but I can only write about a black woman's experience since that what I am.

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