When Sex Is Better Solo

http://www.drlauraberman.com/public/passionfiles/passionfiles.aspx?issueid=9373

When Sex Is Better Solo

If you find that you can reach orgasm during masturbation, but not during sex with your partner, then you're like most women, who find it far easier — and faster — to reach orgasm when they stimulate themselves. It's one part practice (you've most likely been doing it awhile) and one part lack of pressure (there's no one to please or impress but yourself). When you're alone, you get exactly what you want without any of the performance anxiety.

The good news is that you know you are capable of orgasm. The bad news is that something is standing in the way of your complete satisfaction during sex with your partner, and you now have to determine what that is.

Sometimes, it's simply about technique. When you masturbate, you are automatically doing what works for you and may not stop to think about it. So, the next time you masturbate, be your own student. Focus on what you touch first, then second, then third. What kind of pressure do you use? What's your technique? Do you fantasize? Then carry the lessons you've learned into sex with your partner. Don't be afraid to tell him exactly how to please you — I can almost guarantee he'll be an apt pupil!

READ MORE AT: http://www.drlauraberman.com/public/passionfiles/passionfiles.aspx?issueid=9373

My personal take on this one:

I'm going to share a personal story here...

As a highly sexual woman, I've always been cognizant of the different types of orgasms that women experience. I was blessed to have an avid "teacher" upon my initial sex experience so it gave me an great understanding of what makes my body tick.

Having a good orgasm with a man has been no problem unless he was really in a hurry and he really didn't care.

I tell you this because there's a big difference between a good orgasm and a great orgasm and those great ones come farther apart than a full moon and when you get them they can be like crack and you want them all the time.

I think that's why i did stay with my exhub as long as i did because i thought in my mind if i could just have one more of those great ones it'll be okay. That's how addictive those "great ones" are.

You'd be willing to sell your baby on E-bay if those great orgasms came in a bottle and that was the trade off. Seriously.

And what's so good about these is that you don't have to have one like a man. You can have several of them.

Dr. Berman was right. The solo ones are good because you know what you want and subconsciously make adjustments in order to achieve them.

How I was able to teach my ex-husband how to do it?

Okay, here goes.

One night, where he was rubbing and hugging me from behind in bed, his hand moved down between my legs.

He began to use those damn two fingers to try to light a fire. I was going to grit my teeth and just take it, but for some reason I wasn't in the mood to have a rash on my nub by morning, so I covered his hands to still his hand. I move his fingers down so that his palm rested on my moins then proceeded to show him how to rub my body correctly. It was a learning experience and for some reason that night he was apt pupil and listened to what I wanted.

Tips on training

Whisper your wishes - this makes him listen closely to instructions and his need (or over eagerness won't supersede his desire to make you happy)

Compliment good touches - he really needs to hear this. If it feels good tell him. Smile wicked or even laugh if he hit the right spot at the right time and then blow his mind and let him know you're coming. If you really want to rock his word, make sure you end it with an erotic endearment such as Papi, Big Daddy, LOL.

NO Negative words - "don't" "no" "stop it" are some words to stay away from.

Be open and honest - even though you want to stay away from negative words, when he's not doing it right, tell him. "Go slower" "Right there" Aural stimulation at this point works great for guys at this point and trust me his reward will be to see his efforts success as you culminate.

Hope this all helps guy and gals!