EVENT: Taking Time Out for Us 2009 Women's Event!

Attention:    Working Women, Mothers, Grandmothers, and DIVAs     Taking Time Out for Us!!!     Please come and enjoy:   -  Shopping with Local Vendors (clothes, makeup, jewelry, etc.) -  Live Entertainment (See below) -  Fashion Show -  Free Massages -  Networking  -  Refreshments -  Surprises...Surprises...Surprises      Saturday, May 2, 2009 2:00 p.m. - 7:00 p.m.   Embassy Suites Hotel 28100 Franklin Road Southfield, MI  48034       Tickets:  $10 in advance / $12 at the door       100 SPOOKS Entertainment Presents   Upcoming Artist:  COMFORT      Ladies:  You don't want to miss this!!!     You won't want to leave!!!!                                   Contact Luella Hill at 248-990-5110 for  Vendor Table Information!!!   All Wedding Vendor Attendees will receive a free    2009 Marketing Kit from Luella's Creations!!!   RSVP via phone (248-990-5110) or email  and receive $2 off admission

How do you like to sleep?

Your Sleep Style Decoded

Are you a crab, a soldier or a spooner? How you sleep together as a couple (and we do actually mean sleep!) can reveal insights into your relationship.

By Caitlin Moscatello

Sure, you want to spend every waking minute together. But how you sleep (as in, eyes shut, drool on the pillow) can say just as much about your relationship as how you act during the day. Think of it like this: Remember when you worked late all week and he promised to clean and then forgot? And as soon as you came home and he saw the what-a-schmuck look on your face, he ran to grab a broom and pour you a glass of wine? Yeah. Silence speaks louder than words ... and this includes the quiet language of sleep.

The Football
What It Is: Both on your sides, facing each other, with one foot touching
What It Means: Having just one foot touching is more than enough contact for Footballers, who don't need 24/7 TLC to feel close. You both have jam-packed schedules ... and love it! Sure, you don't spend as much quality time with each other as you'd like, but that makes those rare moments together special.
Quirks & Perks: A lazy Sunday is just about your worst nightmare. You'd much rather wake up early, go for a power run together, and check out that new brunch place your (many) friends have been telling you about.

Classic Spoon
What It Is: Full front-to-back contact, with one person tucked into the other — you know, spooning.
What It Means: Lying like this shows you have a pure outlook on your relationship and take on more traditional roles. The person on the outside likes to feel as if they can shield the other from problems, while the person on the inside is sensitive and doesn't mind not being in control. Classic Spooners are extremely supportive and never go to bed angry.
Quirks & Perks: Spooners are all about comfort — and comfort foods. You both love digging into apple pie, meatloaf, and pretty much anything that's warm, gooey, and generally not good for you.

Tetherball
What It Is: One of you on your back with a single hand on the other person
What It Means: You're independent but also willing to compromise. You disagree on politics, religion, and how the toilet seat should be left, but love finding common ground.
Quirks & Perks: Romantic dinners can often turn into heated talks for you debater-types. Luckily, nothing turns you on more than a glass of wine and some hot back-and-forth.

Cliff-Hangers
What It Is: Sleeping on opposite sides of the bed with your backs to each other
What It Means: Getting shut-eye in this position can simply mean you're practical (hey, there's plenty of room in that big bed) and like your leg room, but it may also signal a bit of distance in your relationship.
Quirks & Perks: You like art. He likes sports. You're a vegetarian. He puts bacon on everything. You drive a hybrid. He drives a Hummer. You're total opposites, but you also truly appreciate all of each other's differences ... and each other's personal space.

Solo Sleep Styles
Snooze differently than your significant other? Here's what your pose means.

The Spaghetti Noodle
You sleep on your side with your arms out and are very mellow.
Pairs with: The Soldier. You're so go-with-the-flow, you need a little structure!

The Crab
You lie face-down, like you're making out with your pillow, and you tend to be stubborn.
Pairs with: The Spaghetti Noodle. Let's face it: You need someone loose enough to bend around you.

The Soldier
You sleep on your back with your arms at your sides. Type A much?
Pairs with: The Womb. A Womb sleeper's softness will soothe your rigid side.

The Womb
You curl up and are as thoughtful as you are cozy.
Pairs with: The Crab. You sleep in a tiny ball, and lucky for you, a Crab isn't into all-night snuggling.

Nestperts: Evany Thomas, author of The Secret Language of Sleep; Patti Wood, body language expert


More from MSN Lifestyle Site Search: For additional content on couples, click here.

© 2009 The Knot Inc. All rights reserved.

Dr. Haltzman Talks Pros of Marriage

posted by hitched @

Click here to watch Dr. Scott Haltzman discuss with his local news team the benefits of being in a healthy marriage. Dr. Haltzman highlights many good points such as the fact that men live longer (on average up to 10 years longer, women 4 years), stay slimmer, decreased risk of heart disease, stroke, or high blood pressure, less hospital time, less nursing home time, and less alcoholism. But to get all these benefits, you need to sustain a happy marriage, which Dr. Haltzman says means thinking about what will make your partner happy and fight fair without finger pointing. This is terrific publicity of what a healthy marriage can do, but is ruined by the hack journalist who needs to add his own commentary to the story once the clip is done playing. It's these types of comments that undercut the work done by professionals such as Dr. Haltzman and stain the attitudes of the community this "journalist" is supposed to be serving.




Labels: advice, commentary, health, TV

5 Minutes, 5 Questions With… Brian McClellan, author of A Love Letter to Black People: Audaciously Hopeful Thoughts on Race and Success

A Love Letter to Black People: Audaciously Hopeful Thoughts on Race and Success is a book sure to challenge and inspire those who have this type of deep affection for the Black community but also deep concerns for its future. Inspired in part by the historic political success of President Barack Obama, Love Letter explores the unique way high-achieving African Americans view race and success and why, for the love of the Black community, all Black people must apply these lessons. Love Letter is a must read for those who love Black people and just can't help it!   Joey Pinkney: Where did you get the idea and inspiration to write A Love Letter to Black People?   Brian McClellan: The first seed of "Love Letter" was planted in my mind on July 27, 2004. This was the night then-state senator Barack Obama became a national figure with his inspirational speech at the 2004 Democratic National Convention. After hearing Obama for the first time, I sat up in my bed and said to myself aloud, "I have just seen the first Black president of the United States."  Obama was definitely on to something, and I dedicated myself to capture that "something" in words so the entire Black community could benefit from the knowledge.   There was something about Barack that was different. He and other successful Black people simply view success in the context of race differently. In the process of writing this book, I came the conclusion that the common thread linking these successful Black people was love - love of self, love of the Black community, love of future generations. This is why I call this book A Love Letter to Black People.   JP: Why is a book of this nature needed right now?   BM: With the historic election of President Obama, it is critical that the Black community seize this moment. We cannot afford to waste the inspiration that should be derived from the new roadmap Obama and others have written regarding race and success. Racism is still real, but the most successful Blacks refuse to limit their aspirations due to racism. And with Obama's success, we now have proof positive that racism is not omnipotent. "Love Letter" is a book about how we capitalize upon this historic positive momentum to transform the Black community through the power of love.   JP: As an author, what are the keys to your success that lead to A Love Letter to Black People getting out to the public?   BM: Love Letter was truly a labor of love. The insight of the discussion in Love Letter is bolstered by a supporting survey about race and success completed by more than 100 young, Black business and community leaders. Their opinions regarding provocative racially charged topics such as "acting white" are inspirational, thought-provoking and sometimes more provocative than the questions themselves.   After surveying so many young, successful Blacks (or "YSBs" as I call them in the book) was inspirational for me. To honor their achievements and the countless other YSBs they represent, I felt an obligation to "get it right," to craft this message in a way that would move our Black community to positive action.   JP: As an author, what is your writing process? How long did it take for you to start and finish A Love Letter to Black People?   BM: I believe it is important for authors to write all the time. I don't wait for divine inspiration to start writing. I get inspired by writing. Therefore, I schedule time to write every day. The first manuscript for Love Letter took about three months to complete from start to finish. Question 5: What's next for Brian McClellan?   I believe the message of Love Letter is so important that I will spend as much of my energy as possible to bring this message to as many people as possible. Beyond Love Letter, I will continue to write books that uplift people, books that help readers see opportunities rather than obstacles in their own lives. I have many more books in my heart. The next one will be revealed when the time is right.   http://www.bamstrong.com   P.S. Join the Joey Reviews Newsletter at http://joeypinkney.com/joey-reviews-newsletter.html   P.S.S. If you want to be feature in a 5 Minutes, 5 Questions With… series, email me at joey.pinkney@gmail.com or myspace.com/joeyreviews   Advertise with JoeyPinkney.com for just $20 (click here).

Being the Man By Jama Bryant

I thought this was moving and very thought provoking no matter what color you are.

Enjoy....

Finding How To Love A Black Woman

I don't know if other blogger checks out their feedjit, but I occasionally like to check it out to find out why people landed on me.

So occassionally from now on you will see my feedjit updates.

I'm surprise people are clicking on me as they are looking for Zane's Sex chronicles. i'm honored to be associated with Zane, so I can't complain.

Someone must have mentioned her somewhere today, because there sure were a lot of hits to the site looking for her.

I'm glad my post "Catch all 4 episodes of Zane's Sex chronicles Tonight" helped them out because usually if they were coming in because of that, they were leavign out on the links in that.

A strange one which I couldn't explain was from Southend-on-sea searching for holiday no knickers.

If you know what that means, please explain that one to me.

An interesting one was a search for "Are black woman better at sex."

Heck, I could answer that one and say "never judge a book by its cover." You can't know if someone is good at sex because that's just like asking do I look good naked. That's a matter of opinion.

a search from Puyallup Washington just had blackwoman. Oh-kay. And puyallup don't believe in spaces?

Somone in Brooklyn was looking for white girl making love to a black woman and was sadly disappointed, sorry.

Austin, TX was looking for black woman panties. I didn't know panties were race specific or that black women panties were different from white women panties. But I really don't think of anyone elses panties except for my own.

That reminds me, i'm going to put on my bucket list (which I'm just starting) that I want some LaPerla Underwear. I want panties that cost more than my health care insurance.

I got a lot of clicks on the too tired for sex article i posted, which was strange to me.

Oh and there was another interesting one from Alton, Illinois who was searching for "talk sexy with a black man." Now I have to go back to the panties reference. Is there a way to talk sexy to a black man that's different than talking to a white man? If there is and there's a book about it, I'd love to know about it.

From Philadelphia they came in searching for "How to keep a black woman happy." ha ha ha. ha ha ha. ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. If you find that secret boy, you can have my black woman's panties.

Although Avon, Maasachusetts was looking for black woman in panties. Maybe this was what the other was looking for and that makes a heck of a lot of difference.

I'm trying to figure out also what westland, Michigan was looking for when they arrived looking for something on youtube called pretty black woman toes update. I don't know if I'm old enough to know all that.

I was rolling on the floor, when Fort Wayne Indiana came in searching for how to keep a black woman. I mean is it different than keeping a white woman? I feel like that's the same as asking how to keep a plant alive? Or how to keep a pet rock? (It could be me.)

South Africa was looking for 40 days of Fireproof download. OMG. If you haven't seen Fireproof, you need to right now. That movie is the bomb.

But I digress.

That's a good label too and I'm glad I'm associated with it.

2nd to last, Northwich, Cheshire (which I have no idea where its at) was looking for gspot of a black woman. Umm. Fellas, it's really no different than a white woman or any other woman.

But for those who are uneducated about this subject. The G-spot (which is also known as Gräfenberg spot is a patch of tissue in the front wall of the vagina, claimed to be erectile and highly erogenous.To find it the easiest, Usually if you ask your lady friend to get on her knees and you move behind her. Take your middle finger first to to find it. If you stick your finger in (please make sure there is nice lubrication) in her vagina your finger should stimulate (or reach) the G-spot. As your woman what is more stimulating as you move your finger around GENTLY. (yOU'RE NOT SEARCHING FOR GOLD OR A NEEDLE IN A HAYSTACK. IT SHOULD BE RIGHT THERE.) Keep check of the length and when you place yourself inside of her, rotate your hips gently at first in the same spot where the tip of your finger came, then move forward. Come out and repeat the same thing backwards in the same spot.

She should let you know when you've found the found.

By George you have it.

BTW: G-spot Origin:
1980–85; after German-born gynecologist Ernst Gräfenberg (1881–1957), who is credited with first descibing it.

Lastly, Capitol Heights, Maryland was sadly looking for "black women aren't loved." I find that depressing, but they arrived here and I hope they didn't find the answer here because I'm all about telling how to love a black woman.


PS I would love to thank the following sites for the hits I received from their linkage:

www.mssultryvixen.blogspot.com
www.atasteofangelcake.blogspot.com
www.whatarementhinking.blogspot.com

Age Ain't Nothing But A Number? Is It?

Does Age Matter?

My friend used to say, when it comes to men, there's nothing a light switch can't fix in almost 99% of their cases.

Due to the fact that I have a young face and have even recently been told I look about 24/25 (gawd, that was too nice of them), I get young guys coming up to me all the time. The best one was the cutie who said he was nineteen. (He lied in the beginning and said he was 25, but I checked him on that.) He thought I was 25 too. When I told him I was almost 40, he looked completely shocked and then said in his smooth Keith Washington voice, "age don't matter."

He almost had me at hello and I wouldn't have minded putting my morals at the curb except his slang just didn't turn me on anymore. LOL.

As i delve deep into this issue of age I have to reveal to you that you're listening to a half mad woman.
since the brian mcknight incident, I've slowed my roll to a stop (going on five months).

I think Brian McKnight can lay in my bed naked now and I can look but don't touch. I know why.

I mean it's because I miss those double headers. When your mind's not really in it, you get only the outer and not the inners (if you have no idea what i'm talking about then you need to go pick up a sex book right now or email Dr. Laura Berman Immediately).

Any hoo, it's not that i don't like sex, although most men now when i tell them i'm celibate, that's what i think. And I'll say it loudly too like I'm proud of it. They run away. Wa-hoo! If you've been following this blog, you know that I'm fond of sexual intercourse, but shhhhhh don't tell them.

I love it when a guy gets away like he's got a labotomy to get to after I say, "I should let you know that I'm practicing celibacy."

Of course these are the young guys. Right now, they're ranging between 35 and 45. The majority of them i'm meeting are all about exchanging liquids on the first date and i'm like oh now that's just nasty.

I'm resistant to the younger men's charms though. It's the older men that get me and I have to be very careful. (Or I had to learn). If you know me (and you've been follwing the blog) then you know I love mental stimulation. Aural sex can culminate me faster than anything physical because its so pure and beautiful and your body is like... DON'T GET ME STARTED. I'm at work and I can't change the panties. Unlike younger men, older men give it good and they can send you over the edge before you realize that your panties are off your body, LOL.

I got over the shakes and shudders just thinking bout it, but its the mental stimulation that's addicting. And they (older guys) know how to talk to you. Play up your silliness and make it seem beautiful and they listen. OH LAWD, they listen!!! A rare breeded man at a younger age is like a blue moon.

Older men know how to play around and they can take sarcasm much better than younger man and sometimes even go toe to toe.

So these are the thoughts tumbling around in my brain. I'll expound maybe later. Maybe.

Pray for my trip. I really don't want it to end. I really have become at peace in my celibacy, but it's just another adventure I'm going through.

When asked friends of what I should do with older guy, they said, "go with your gut." But if I went with my gut, i'd be in a host a trouble because I want to do things illegal in about 49 out of 50 states with a man, bout now.

I'm laughing outside, but there's some internal struggling going on here.

BOOK: New Book to Address Divorce & Money

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE                                CONTACT: Vivian Chan , 714-573-0899 ext. 35                                                                                                         vivian@echomediapr.com   As the Tie Unbinds, Keep your Financial Sanity with the Ninth Edition of…   "DIVORCE & MONEY: HOW TO MAKE THE BEST FINANCIAL DECISIONS DURING DIVORCE"   Renowned Attorney, Violet Woodhouse, Presents Guide for Making the Best Financial and Legal Choices During a Difficult Time   NEWPORT BEACH, Calif. (March 17, 2009) – During dire economic times, divorce proceedings can be especially unpleasant. You and your ex will be asked to make dozens of crucial financial decisions that will determine your financial status after the divorce and for years to come. Economic conditions will factor into decisions being made, making it imperative to formulate the right choices to avoid financial instability. Is it the right time to sell the house?  What should you do about alimony or child support? How will the divorce affect you both tax-wise? What's the best way to divide the assets? Author, Violet P. Woodhouse, answers these and other questions in what critics are calling the most comprehensive financial-planning guide for divorcing couples available – "Divorce & Money: How to Make the Best Financial Decisions During Divorce" (9th Edition, Jan. 2009).             For 17 years, Divorce & Money has been the leading guide to evaluating and dividing assets during divorce.  "Divorce can be unpleasant often complicating financial decisions, but it is crucial to solve these issues," states Violet Woodhouse. "It's a quick reference guide for m ana ging personal finances, and a valuable asset to all divorcés."             Divorce & Money addresses the burning issues facing divorcing couples, including: The Unique Rights of Same-Sex Couples Division of Real Estate Property, Retirement Benefits, Investments and Health Savings Accounts Handling Alimony and Child Support How to Divide Debt in an Ever-Changing Financial Landscape Up-to-Date Tax and Pension-Plan Information               In addition, the newest edition of Divorce & Money features sections that explore the following current topics: Cost-Effective Ways to Dissolve a Marriage: Going through a divorce is a costly endeavor, but not working with a lawyer can be even riskier and can lead to future financial losses. Now more than ever, the unbundling of legal services, also known as limited scope representation, is becoming a growing need as unfavorable economic conditions affect so many. With this option is available in many states, attorney Violet Woodhouse shows consumers how to pick and choose what parts of a divorce can be m ana ged alone, and what parts to delegate to a pro. The likely result? An economical way to have total peace of mind. Collaborative Divorce Deters Litigation: In the new edition of Divorce & Money, Woodhouse offers a cost-effective alternative to litigation – collaborative divorce. Unlike mediation, collaborative divorce allows each spouse to have the support of his or her own lawyer who is committed to a fair resolution of all the issues in the divorce. Central to this process is resolution rather than litigation; if the collaborative process fails, neither attorney may represent their client in the ensuing litigation. Benefits include each client having their own advocate during the process, an increased likelihood of compliance with negotiated terms, a more positive overall experience involving compromise on both sides, and a more cooperative environment for co-parenting. New Love & Old Assets: The ninth edition of Divorce & Money also explores options for after the divorce and those entering into marriage either for the first time or again. Cohabitation, or living together with a new "significant other" without legally marrying, has risks and it's important to know what the legal and financial ramifications are. Laws vary between states and it is crucial to be familiar with cohabitation laws and how it can affect alimony if it applies. For those getting married, Woodhouse explores how prenuptial contracts can be a valuable planning tool for any couple.   About "Divorce & Money: How to Make the Best Financial Decisions During Divorce"             Organized like a workbook, Divorce & Money includes easy-to-read charts and tables as well as icons that alert readers to "Questions to Ask Your Attorney," time-sensitive decisions, tasks that involve a series of steps, and helpful Web sites.                 Divorce & Money: How to Make the Best Financial Decisions During Divorce is available for $34.99 in major bookstores nationwide, and online at Amazon.com and other Web-based retailers. The 449-page edition's ISBN number is 978-1-4133-0918-8. About the Author, Violet Woodhouse             Violet Woodhouse, an attorney and Certified Family Law Specialists, Certified Financial Planner consultant, is recognized as one of the nation's top 200 financial planners by Worth, and has been consistently ranked as one of Los Angeles Magazine's "California Super Lawyers." A regular guest on local and national news shows and a favorite source for reporters locally and nationally, Woodhouse is available for interviews to address personal finance topics. Lending her expertise to any style of interview in a knowledgeable and easily understood manner, Woodhouse's creative tactics are a must-know for every couple.  About Nolo Press             Nolo, the country's leading publisher of plain-English legal and business tools, creates books and software to guide you safely and easily past the legal tangles of life's big events. Nolo offers reliable, understandable answers to all kinds of everyday legal questions, whether they involve personal or business matters. For more information, visit www.nolo.com. #  #  #

Too Tired for Sex

When I was 23 years old and working at a popular women’s magazine, I was given an article to factcheck called, "Too Tired for Sex." At the time I scoffed at the story’s title and its premise. Two decades later, as a married mother of three I can relate to that article more than I can to my former 23-year-old self.

It’s not uncommon for a woman who has children to collapse in bed at night feeling as emotionally and physically drained as a vampire victim. When a stay-at-home mother spends her day being clung to and crawled upon by children, by the time her husband arrives home the only thing she wants to do is escape, and not be touched. Employed moms can feel the same way after juggling work and family, and frequently managing both upon returning home in the evening: make dinner, prepare tomorrow’s lunches, log back into the office after the kids go to bed, etc. With so many people in a mother’s life taking from her in order to satisfy their own needs, there’s often nothing left to give.

It’s not that women with children don’t want to have sex. Intimacy and affection is very important, particularly for one’s self-esteem. The hitch is that time and place and context now matter. Aside from often not having the physical and emotional energy for even the simplest bedroom gymnastics, it can be hard for a woman to intellectually switch gears from mommy to vixen.

So assuming that He is often as eager as She is exhausted, how can a couple childproof their love life?

1. Communicate: This means talking—including about feelings. One frequently recommended title for how partners can better understand one other is Finding the Love You Want, by Hendrick Harlan.

2. Be appreciative: Instead of becoming overwhelmed by parenthood, both partners can be thankful for all they have together. "We don’t take our intimacy for granted anymore," a 33-year-old mother of three told me.

3. Share the domestic duties: It’s not fair for one partner to be racing around before bed to finish household chores while the other sits on the couch and channel surfs. (Note: Men doing housework is sexy!)

4. Date nights: Since it’s harder now to be spontaneous, make plans to spend time together, somewhere, somehow. It can be an enormous mood lifter to know that the two of you are going out together (soon) or will be spending a few hours alone (i.e. without kids).

5. Go away: Sometimes parents develop separate social lives because someone needs to stay home and care for the children. While outings with friends are important—as are family vacations—it’s important for parents to get away together (even if it’s only for an overnight stay) without the kids in tow.

6. Try it, you’ll like it: In other words, have sex, even if it’s just quickie sex.

7. Take the long view: The clichés are true. Children are only small once. And this too shall pass. Although by the time it does, you’ll have to sneak around a bit so your older, savvy children won’t know what’s going on behind Mom and Dad’s closed door.

8. A Special Message to the Husbands of Stay-at-Home Moms: Woo the mother of your child(ren) the same way you did before she was the mother of your children. Instead of pouncing on her when she collapses exhausted into bed, take her on a real date. You likely get to leave the house on a regular basis, and you likely do this unencumbered by offspring; your wife often doesn’t. (Imagine if you lived and worked at your office and never left. Imagine if, during the only time you did leave the building, your boss, staff and colleagues came with you. Horrifying, isn’t it?) Women who spend their days caring for children need time to reenergize the part of themselves that enabled them to become moms in the first place (i.e. their sex appeal and sex drive). To really get in the mood they often need new scenery and a chance to dress-up. They need to be complimented and, most of all, listened to. Remember: This is a person who currently spends her days with children who don’t listen, and with whom she surely can’t have an adult conversation. Take her out, talk and listen and you’re in!

Melissa Stanton is the author of "The Stay-at-Home Survival Guide: Field-tested strategies for staying smart, sane, and connected while caring for your kids," published by Seal Press/Perseus Books (http://www.stayathomesurvivalguide.com/ ). A former editor at LIFE and People magazines, her articles have appeared in "The New York Times," "Glamour," "Parenting" and "Brain Child," among other publications and websites. Many of Stanton’s parenting-related articles are available at "Real Life Support for Moms" (http://www.lifesupportformoms.com/). She lives near Washington D.C. with her husband and three children.

Bad Dream Anthology

Last night, I had short nightmares.

It was like the book of life - Murphy Law style.

Whatever bad could happened did happened.

What was really weird was that they happened in different short scenarios.

• My laptop broke
  

  My purse was stolen
  

  One of my children was seriously hurt and people were accusing me of
  it.
  

  The lights got shut off.
  

  I was chased by some dogs (I didn't look back though to see how many, but I
  knew it was several by the barking of many.)

  I was hit by a car
  

  My hair started falling out in clumps.

  
  

Don't know why, but the last one made me start my Biotin regiment again starting this morning.

Really weird.

Must be a full moon coming or rising.

Don't know.

Weird.

What I Love about Black Women

I enjoyed his honesty and depth.

Thought you would too!

PAY WHAT YOU WANT....for Diary Of A....

PAY WHAT YOU WANT....for Diary Of A....   I'm Celebrating Ebook week by uploading Diary of A... with only a pay what you want deal.   http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/1086   *DIARY OF A...     Sheryl Banks decided to start this diary of ...(well she doesn't know yet, LOL) Join her on her journey to find what every woman wants: a man. A good man! Her life isn't that exciting, but she think it's sure to keep you on your toes (smiling wickedly). *Romance Suspense   Download your copy now: http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/1086 Sylvia Hubbard Author, Blogger and Founder of Motown Writers Network http://sylviahubbard.com http://loveablackwoman.com http://motownwriters.com http://michiganliterarynetwork.com http://aaeln.com (African American Electronic Literary Network) http://hubbooks.biz   Author of Romance & Suspense and Internet Marketing for Writers & Business   NOW AVAILABLE: Secrets, Lies and Family Ties order your copy now Coming Soon: Tanner's Devil www.redrosepublishing.com

BOOK: Marriage 101: Building a Life Together by F aith - Jewell Powell, Author

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EVENt: Marriage Resource Center Presents a Special Evening, March 21

Marriage Resource Center Presents a Special Evening, March 21 Black Marriage Day Celebration March 21, 2009 Theme: "Honoring Our Strength & Commitment to Love and Community"   Speakers: Jesse & Melva Thomas Johnson, Psychotherapists, Relationship Educators, Authors with 30 years of marriage and "60 years teaching singles how to find a mate, and married couple how to stay in love with their spouse."          Original Poetry by Detroit's own Alicea Crafter          Music by Detroit native SiloamPool          Location: Fellowship Chapel Multipurpose Room 7707 W Outer Dr. Detroit          Time: 5PM - 8PM              Entertainment, Food, Poetry, Vow Renewal, Couple Recognition, Black Hall of Fame Nominees Cost: $50/couple  To register call (313) 278-4400 or www.MImarriage.org *If any couple signs up for the Couples Workshop will be eligible for a special gift*     "STRENGTHENING MARRIAGES THROUGH EDUCATION"

Flowers while they live - Part 2 - My Daddy.

Good morning. I don't like to speak about my personal stuff, but I should let you know I'm going through something.

My father is in the hospital in Pittsburgh since Friday. He'd gone there to help my uncle move out and ended getting carbon monoxide poison. He's been in the ICU unconscious and we (the family) hopes he comes to.

So you ask how can I write a live book while this family tragedy is happening.

At night I sit and think about the horribleness of losing my father. He's been my alpha male all my life and I love him very much.

Sunday when I was told the news that he still had not awakened, I drifted off in my thoughts trying to remember our last conversation that we had. It was over the phone, the day before he left. I remember us speaking about getting him a new cell phone because the one he had was busted. “I’ll look into it more when I get back from my trip,” he said after I offered to buy him a cheap phone just until he could get something he really wanted. (He wants the Palm, but I can’t afford that.)

I sighed and said, “Okay, Da-Da. Don’t forget.”

“I won’t,” he promised. “I love you.”

“I love you too,” I said without hesitation before hanging up.

So on Sunday when I thought about the possibility of not seeing my Dad again, I felt a little at peace because I know I gave roses while he lived. I know deep down there were no things I needed to say to him. I’d forgiven him for things a long time ago and this made me glad to know I would only cry because I missed him and not in regret.

Tragedy happens to people all the time. Tomorrow is never promised to anyone and I really do feel we need to make peace with people before it’s too late. I think Regret can do worse things to us than hatred.

This life we live is too short compared to eternity of regret we’ll feel if we don’t do right by the most important person we need to care about – ourselves.

There’s nothing to report about his condition. All we can do is wait for word. The hospital he’s in is doing the best they can for him. Unfortunately I couldn’t go to see him because I’m a single parent and with the rest of the family running to see him (except my brother, whose wife is getting a partial hysterectomy) are busy. I have no one to leave my children with so I must stay.

I’m not worried though. God hears prays no matter what and I know in the deepest of hearts he watches over me and my family.

So how do I write while tragedy is going on?

I have to. I’d go crazy if I didn’t. Writing keeps me calm, stable and supplies a natural drug that sends my pleasurable stimulants in my brain. Helps me – for a little while zone out in a good way to all that bothers me.

Writing keeps me sane. I can still be a mother. I can still be Sylvia. I can still walk around and talk as if there is nothing bothering me to the world around because I have this one place to go there is no one in the world in my writing place except God and I. And that’s the best place to be.

I miss my Daddy and I hope he comes home and feels better and is like he was before.

I miss his smile and how he mentally challenged me to do better all the time and to think for myself.

I’ll miss him because I know when God made him, he broke the mold. My dad could fix the best Kool-aid, any car before 1995, shoot a buck a mile away, cook the best deer stew this side of the Mississippi and really knew what E=MC2. He would epoxy our toys when they would break, make a traffic light from three lights, one battery, four wires and black electrical tape for my science project (which I won) and build a house with two of his brothers in one week (He also drew up the plans for the house too.) He really knew what a blue moon was and he gave great advice like, “The same boys sniffing around you when you’re twelve will be the same ones sniffing around you when you’re forty.” (He was so right.)

Haven’t found another man in the world like him and I know if he goes away, I probably never will.

I miss his voice answering all my crazy questions without judging me. I remember clearly when I was writing Sin’s Iniquity, I called him and as soon as he came on the phone I asked, “If I shot someone in the chest five times, how fast do I have to drop the body temperature before they bleed out?”

Without hesitation, he answered, “Hmmm… Pretty fast, but it does depend on what vital organs you hit in the chest.”

“If they fell in the Detroit River immediately after being shot, would that prevent them from bleeding out.”

“What’s the time of year?”

“Middle of November.”

“Yes, that should work. Unless it’s a late summer, the water temperature should pull the body temperature to down so the blood flow slows.” He’s so durn smart.
Keep my family in your prayers. Thank you.

8 Ways To Revitalize Your Sex Life

Don’t let your busy lifestyle take away from your time in the bedroom.

BY MELISSA STANTON

When I was 23 years old and working at a popular women’s magazine, I was given an article to factcheck called, "Too Tired for Sex." At the time I scoffed at the story’s title and its premise. Two decades later, as a married mother of three I can relate to that article more than I can to my former 23-year-old self.

It’s not uncommon for a woman who has children to collapse in bed at night feeling as emotionally and physically drained as a vampire victim. When a stay-at-home mother spends her day being clung to and crawled upon by children, by the time her husband arrives home the only thing she wants to do is escape, and not be touched. Employed moms can feel the same way after juggling work and family, and frequently managing both upon returning home in the evening: make dinner, prepare tomorrow’s lunches, log back into the office after the kids go to bed, etc. With so many people in a mother’s life taking from her in order to satisfy their own needs, there’s often nothing left to give.

It’s not that women with children don’t want to have sex. Intimacy and affection is very important, particularly for one’s self-esteem. The hitch is that time and place and context now matter. Aside from often not having the physical and emotional energy for even the simplest bedroom gymnastics, it can be hard for a woman to intellectually switch gears from mommy to vixen.

So assuming that He is often as eager as She is exhausted, how can a couple childproof their love life?

1. Communicate: This means talking—including about feelings. One frequently recommended title for how partners can better understand one other is Finding the Love You Want, by Hendrick Harlan.

2. Be appreciative: Instead of becoming overwhelmed by parenthood, both partners can be thankful for all they have together. "We don’t take our intimacy for granted anymore," a 33-year-old mother of three told me.

3. Share the domestic duties: It’s not fair for one partner to be racing around before bed to finish household chores while the other sits on the couch and channel surfs. (Note: Men doing housework is sexy!)

4. Date nights: Since it’s harder now to be spontaneous, make plans to spend time together, somewhere, somehow. It can be an enormous mood lifter to know that the two of you are going out together (soon) or will be spending a few hours alone (i.e. without kids).

5. Go away: Sometimes parents develop separate social lives because someone needs to stay home and care for the children. While outings with friends are important—as are family vacations—it’s important for parents to get away together (even if it’s only for an overnight stay) without the kids in tow.

6. Try it, you’ll like it: In other words, have sex, even if it’s just quickie sex.

7. Take the long view: The clichés are true. Children are only small once. And this too shall pass. Although by the time it does, you’ll have to sneak around a bit so your older, savvy children won’t know what’s going on behind Mom and Dad’s closed door.

8. A Special Message to the Husbands of Stay-at-Home Moms: Woo the mother of your child(ren) the same way you did before she was the mother of your children. Instead of pouncing on her when she collapses exhausted into bed, take her on a real date. You likely get to leave the house on a regular basis, and you likely do this unencumbered by offspring; your wife often doesn’t. (Imagine if you lived and worked at your office and never left. Imagine if, during the only time you did leave the building, your boss, staff and colleagues came with you. Horrifying, isn’t it?) Women who spend their days caring for children need time to reenergize the part of themselves that enabled them to become moms in the first place (i.e. their sex appeal and sex drive). To really get in the mood they often need new scenery and a chance to dress-up. They need to be complimented and, most of all, listened to. Remember: This is a person who currently spends her days with children who don’t listen, and with whom she surely can’t have an adult conversation. Take her out, talk and listen and you’re in!

Melissa Stanton is the author of "The Stay-at-Home Survival Guide: Field-tested strategies for staying smart, sane, and connected while caring for your kids," published by Seal Press/Perseus Books (www.stayathomesurvivalguide.com ). A former editor at LIFE and People magazines, her articles have appeared in "The New York Times," "Glamour," "Parenting" and "Brain Child," among other publications and websites. Many of Stanton’s parenting-related articles are available at "Real Life Support for Moms" (www.lifesupportformoms.com). She lives near Washington D.C. with her husband and three children.

Why u lost your man by raw dawg buffalo

i enjoyed this post by big daddy RDB so much i wanted to let you guys know about and read the rest.

He was preaching on that day and dang did he sound sexy...

http://rawdawgb.blogspot.com/2009/03/why-u-lost-your-man.html

WHY U LOST YOUR MAN

by raw dawg buffalo

Point of order: This post is not about being dumped by a man, its about a woman or women who break up with a man and want to get back with them.Okay, was gonna beat up Geither and his droogs today, but I digress. My folk called me and said she was up set, which is the impetus for this post. She said she asked her former man, ex, lover or whatever the dog tag was if they could work it out, you know get back together. Jones said no. I told her I agreed with him. She had indicated that he was always there for here and never lied or did anything to hurt or, or hit her.
Now this aint about the scum bag, wanna be thug fuck boys who don’t know to treat a woman like their daughter or mother, but regarding the men that represent as men. The men that provide, pay bills, pay for your car, put a rang on your finger and keep a roof over your head if they needed to and food in your stomach – yep we do exist folk. This is regarding the men who help their kids with home work and provide and take care of them without reservation. So if folk you lost wasn’t like that, well sorry – that wasn’t a man and herein could lay the problem. But that aside.

See many times, it is on you. You need to ask yourself what have you done for him. And I know many will say I am not in a position to do, as the man does, but that is beside the point. Ask yourself what can you do that is within your power. Many things men desire don’t cost money: dependability, being their when he may want or need you (the are different)

So some advice:

Read more at: http://rawdawgb.blogspot.com/2009/03/why-u-lost-your-man.html

When He Doesn't

A lot of things we want in life don't happen once we get past the fact we’re an adult now.

For me that happened when I walked out my marriage to a physical and verbally abusive man with just the clothes on my back and my kids in my arms..

I didn't want to become one of those bitter black man hating women, so I started my blog on How To Love A Black Woman in order to find what I needed to be love and how to love right.

I tell myself honestly what I want in a man and I can write a book about how a perfect man should treat me, but as a fiction writer, I live in reality all the time and I never fool myself out of the truth.

So when he doesn't do the things I long for him to do, what should I do? That is the question imposed today.

When he doesn't.

We all have this fantasy of our own Prince Charming. He should be strong, handsome (with good teeth), natural comedian, super smart (but not snobby genius), confident (but not arrogantly sickening), a helper and a leader, and loves you unconditionally.

Instead we get the trifling, non romantic, corny, cavity ridden-crooked smile, shallow, arrogantly stupid, lazy, shiftless, that only loves you in the missionary position from 10pm to 10:02pm once or twice a week. That does not include foreplay.

(Yeah, that was extreme.)

So what do we do when he doesn't.

Instead of going off on a brotha - (white or black). There are some logical steps a woman can do.

Now I must impose on this piece that if you are married, if he isn’t cheating or physically and mentally abusive, the option of leaving is off the board in most cases. You should really stick in there and fight it out and try to do all you can before decide to lose the fight. I must also tell you this are just my thoughts and opinion and I don’t profess to be a professional. I’m a professional observer of life and I’ve seen or been in a lot of situations where I can say, “You know what? People need to know about this before they do the same stupid thing.”

When he doesn't provide intimacy...You do it first. Maybe showing him what you need by doing it to him will get him to understand what is going on with you and how much you adore intimacy as well. But know this, understand your own needs. You can't just say intimacy. You really have to understand your own intimacy needs. Is it just physical intimacy? Or would you like the special phone calls to say I love you and I just wanted to hear your voice. A warm bath drawn after a hards day work. Waking up on a Sunday morning and just staying in bed until you smell like each other. What do you want? Find these out before just complaining about them.

When he doesn't want to be inhibited with you. Work on your comfortable level of sex by talking about it, watching instructional videos (they have a million of them), and talk your fears out about what you don't want to happen. ("I don't want to see myself on Youtube one day in some sex tape scandal.") I believe two people who come together need to feel comfortable about their sexuality and bodies and be able to fulfill each others needs sexually without feeling that it is embarrassing.

When he doesn't want to carry on intelligent conversation. Trick him. Find out what he loves and try to find out more about it than he does. I learned detail information about bounty hunting. (Yes, I dated one or two.) I learned it so well, I was confident enough to suggest ways of how he could run his business better and expand his reach. In return he didn't mind attending literary events or going to an opera with me. He even finished off his degree and for his graduation gift we drove to Tallahassee where I received a private practice performance of the Alvin Alley Dance Troupe (which I'm a fan of) because he knew the security for the building.

When he doesn't leave drama at the door, first make sure you aren’t doing it and then start putting motivational signs up at the door. For instance make a no drama sign with a big X over the word DRAMA. Write inspirational quotes about bringing the outside world into a personal relationship. Most of all talk about things and let him know how much you don't like the drama or tension that keeps rolling up in the house. Set hours for company to be home and be reasonable about it. (We understand Monday night football, but fellas can you understand that's a school/work night and we've had a long day, too?)

We could go on with examples, but it'll all round up to ten things in how to handle "when he doesn't."

1. Practice what you preach
2. Practice random acts of kindness
3. Communicate without being negative, spiteful or venomous.
4. Do unto him as you would have him do unto you.
5. Study him as much as you want him to study you.
6. Know that behind every good man is a good woman - be that woman, but allow him to be your king.
7. Pray
8. Take the "I" out of the problem you are having with him and then reassess the problem to see if its just something selfish.
9. If he messes up, forgive and forget!
10. Listen to him.

When all else fails and you want to still stay, I advise seek professional advice.

When that fails (because I’m a worse case scenario gurl) give him a time limit. Continue to do what you do the ten steps, but if he still doesn’t and you find that you’re unhappier at this point in your life, after the time limit is up, be ready to go.

Women can endure a lot of things. We bring life in this world bravely suffering the worst kind of pain. We’ll sacrifice a lot of things to make others happy. We’ll work ourselves to the bone just to come home to hear “Hi Mommy.”

We give until there’s nothing left of us, but sometimes we have to remember to give back to ourselves and if you aren’t married to this man because “he’s not ready for a commitment”, and he not making you happy, and he’s causing more aggravation than your worst yeast infection, you really have to sit down and ask yourself, “Why are you with him?”

When He Doesn't © 2009 Sylvia Hubbard, Author, Founder of Motown Writers Network and Blogger of How To Love A Black Woman. http://www.sylviahubbard.com/ http://www.loveablackwoman.com/ http://www.motownwriters.com/

making women happy, black women,

From oil rig to luxury eco-resort

Welcome to the newsletter for gizmag Emerging Technology Magazine. These are the headlines for March the 5th, 2009. From oil rig to luxury eco-resort Think "oil rig" and what comes to mind? Deafening noise, pounding seas, people covered in black muck and ugly metal structures? Perhaps even explosions and Red Adair, but it's unlikely "luxury resort" popped into your head. However, thousands of decommissioned platforms in the Gulf of Mexico could in future be given a new lease of life as exclusive, self-sufficient eco-resorts that make use of renewable energy and cater for those looking for a new and unique holiday experience. The idea is catching on, with Morris Architects' program to turn a disused rig into a high-end resort experience winning it the firm a $10,000 Grand Prize in the Radical Innovation in Hospitality awards. Read More Giugiaro hybrid supercar revives classic British nameplate It seems almost every brand from the automotive industry's past is ripe for revival – no matter how long ago cars bearing the name last rolled off the production line. The latest candidate is Frazer-Nash, a British sports and racing car maker whose roots date back to the 1920s – but which last made a car in the late 1950s. The company doing the reviving is none other than Italdesign-Giugiaro, and the new Frazer-Nash is a radical hybrid electric car, the fastest of its type in the world. Read More Apple updates Mac mini and iMac The second major product announcement from the folks at Apple this week is an update to its iMac® and Mac® mini desktop lines, including a 24-inch iMac. At the same recommended retail price as the previous generation 20-inch model, the 24-inch iMac update offers 30 percent more screen real estate and has twice the memory and twice the storage while the Mac mini boasts new integrated graphics. Read More In-built thermometer boosts baby bath safety Bathing a baby has to be one of the harder jobs for a new parent. Not only do you have to continually support their slippery, wet, little body, you also have to make sure the bath water is at exactly the right temperature. The 4moms Cleanwater Infant Bath tub with digital thermometer could make the job of bathing baby a little easier via a unique design that allows clean running water to enter the tub and be tested for correct temperature before coming into contact with your baby's delicate skin. Read More Rubik's Cube gets high-tech touch Looks like mobile phones aren't the only things going touch screen crazy. As a new Rubik's puzzle gets ready to hit stores an updated version of the classic Rubik's Cube does away with the manual turning of the cube's sides in favor of utilizing the very latest in touch and motion technologies, so users swipe a finger across the surface to "turn" a side. Read More Smart fortwo BRABUS electric drive Following on from the cosmetically customized version of the Tesla Roadster which debuted at the Essen Motor Show 2008, German tuning house BRABUS has seen the writing on the wall and launched a second electric car, this time based on a Smart fortwo. Drowned in matt green throughout the exterior and interior, the car comes with the same style monoblock light-alloy wheels and the (somewhat gimmicky) LED Daytime running lights as used on the Tesla. With the silence of electric cars set to become a real safety issue as more appear on our roads, there's also a BRABUS sound generator specially developed for the smart electric drive, as as well as some real technical innovation in the drive train. Read More Kogan announces Kevin37 HDTV to coincide with economic stimulus package Like many governments around the world, Australia's leaders are pouring taxpayer dollars into the economy via stimulus packages designed to counter the effects of the global economic downturn. In Australia, this translates to tax-free payments of AUD$900 destined for the bank accounts of those who earned under AUD$100,000 in the 07-08 financial year. The idea is for consumers to spend the money, and Kogan has cleverly capitalized on what's been dubbed the "flat-screen TV bonus" with the announcement of their "High Definition Stimulus" - a $900, 37-inch 720p HDTV called "Kevin37". Read More GE G3WP Waterproof compact camera announced General Imaging, the licensee for GE digital cameras, has launched its first-ever waterproof model at PMA 2009 - the G3WP. The 12.2 megapixel compact is waterproof to 10 feet, has a 4x optical zoom, Image Stabilization and a 2.7-inch LCD screen that automatically adjusts to changes in ambient light. Read More Nissan releases GT-R Spec V: no more horsepower, but an additional US$65K on the price tag Nissan has announced a new limited-production Nissan GT-R Spec V model which we're still having trouble wrapping our collective brain cells around. The GT-R was unveiled at the Tokyo Motor Show in 2007, and it has taken all before it since then - it is a technological masterpiece that looks like a relatively normal car, but outperforms cars worth double, triple and more. In Japan it sells for 8.6 million yen, translating into the cheapest production supercar the world has yet seen. Now, the Spec V is being shown at Geneva and has already gone on sale in Japan for 15,750,000 yen (JPY) – an increase of 83% in price – and the engine produces NO more horsepower. So what do you get for an extra US$72,000? Read More If you would like to refer this newsletter to a friend or colleague, please point them at our free subscription page. Please don't try to forward this email, as the formatting is unlikely to remain intact. And don't worry, we don't share email addresses. Please read our privacy policy if you are concerned. Watch for more of the best new innovations, ideas and practical technologies in your inbox. If you no longer wish to receive this newsletter please click here to unsubscribe. COPYRIGHT GIZMAG © 2009