Why You Shouldn't Fake an Orgasm

Faking may seem like a harmless act, but learn how it can be destructive to your marriage.

 BY PATTY BRISBEN

BigStockPhoto
Be honest with your spouse in bed and it will carry outside of the bedroom as well.

Most of us remember the notorious scene from When Harry Met Sally where Sally puts on an Oscar worthy orgasmic performance to prove a point to Harry in a café diner. Years later, whether in a diner or bedroom, many women still fake orgasms.

Well, I’m here to tell you that if you're an orgasm faker, you are doing you and your spouse a major injustice! By faking pleasure, you’re not only neglecting your needs, but you aren’t being honest with your spouse. Let’s face it, if you’re faking in the bedroom, where else are you faking? Being in a committed relationship is about being open enough to communicate about all aspects, especially the tougher topics that may embarrass you like issues regarding your sexuality.

The other danger of faking pleasure and not communicating your intimate needs is the risk that one partner may begin to look outside of the relationship for satisfaction. Couples have to understand the importance of making an effort and not taking each other for granted. This means continuing to do the little things, and using the same sort of thoughtfulness and caring gestures you did when you were first courting. This is also true when it comes to your intimate life.

READ MORE AT: 

http://www.hitchedmag.com/article.php?id=868 

Madea's Rules for Thanksgiving- this is hilarious

I'm borrowing this from a friend's blog, Janaya Black. Pay a visit to her many sites as follows: www.black-smithenterprises.com www.trinityfilmcoalition.com (I know this is late, but it was too hilarious! But at least you're prepared for next year and some of this may apply for Christmas) Print and give to each guest that enters your home. 1. Don't get in line asking questions about the food. 'Who made the potato salad? Is it egg in there? Are the greens fresh? Is the meat in the greens turkey or pork? Who made the macaroni and cheese? What kind of pie is that; who made it? Ask one more question and I will punch you in your mouth, knocking out all your fronts so you won't be able to eat anything. 2. If you can't walk, or are missing any limbs, sit your ass down until someone makes your plate for you. Dinner time is not the time for you to be independent. Nibble on them damn peanuts and walnuts to hold you over until someone makes you a plate. 3. If you have kids under the age of twelve, I will escort their little asses down to the basement and bring their food down to them. They are not going to tear up my damn house this year. Tell them that they are not allowed upstairs until it's time for Uncle Butchie to start telling family stories about their mommas and papas. If they come upstairs for any reason except that they are bleeding to death, I will break a foot off in their asses. 4. There is going to be one prayer for Thanksgiving dinner! JUST ONE! We do not care that you are thankful that your thirteen year old daughter gave birth to a healthy baby or your nephew just got out of jail. Save the talk for someone that gives a damn. The time limit for the prayer is one minute. If you are still talking after that one minute is up, you will feel something hard come across your lips and they will be swollen for approximately 20 minutes. 5. Finish everything on your plate before you go for seconds! If you don't, you will be cursed out and asked to stay your greedy ass home next year. 6. BRING YOUR OWN TUPPERWARE!! Don't let me catch you fixing yourself a plate in my good tupperware knowing damn well that I will never see it again! Furthermore, if you didn't bring anything over, don't let me catch you making a plate period or it will be a misunderstanding. 7. What you came with is what you should leave with! Do not leave my house with anything that doesn't belong to you. EVERYBODY WILL BE SUBJECTED TO A BODY SEARCH COMING AND GOING OUT OF MY DOMAIN!!! 8. Do not leave your kids so you can go hopping from house to house. This is not a DAYCARE CENTER. There will be a kid parent roll call every ten minutes. Any parent that is not present at the time of roll call, your child will be put outside until you come and get him or her. After 24 hours, I will call ACS on you ignorant ass!! 9. BOOK YOUR HOTEL ROOM BEFORE YOU COME INTO TOWN!! There will be no sleeping over at my house! You are to come and eat your dinner then take your ass home or to your hotel room. EVERYBODY GETS KICKED OUT AT 11:00 pm. You will get a 15 minute warning bell ring. 10. Last but not least; ONE PLATE PER PERSON!! This is not a soup kitchen. I an not trying to feed your family until Christmas dinner. You will be supervised when you fix your plate. Anything over the appropriate amount will be charged to you before you leave. There will be a cash register at the door. Thanks to Cousin Alfred and his greedy ass family, we now have a credit card machine. So Visa and Mastercard are now being accepted. Have a blessed and fruitFULL holiday!

The Sensible Crazy Woman

Yeah another chick flick coming up, but I think Meg Ryan plays a sensible crazy woman.

That's so wrong to say...LOL.

I'm sure at one point when a man or woman told you they were leaving you for someone else or just the fact that theywere leaving you that you wanted to strap them down and do this to them.

For me, I think I have been so scared theat they were going to do this, I have done it to them first. I just hope and pray that one day, I'm not duck taped to a toilet trying to figure out what went wrong.

But do we really understand or know what went wrong in a relationship when it's time for the breaking up part.

I know in my heart the problems started long before that break up day and most likely it started with the little things that just got bigger and bigger.

As always how to you heal from a broken heart and is love really worth fighting for so much?

So many questions with not enough answers. I'll just leave it at this to just ponder some more deeply.

Book Review: The Conversation: How Black Men and Women Can Build Loving, Trusting Relationships By Hill Harper

Since I'm a huge fan of Hill Harper's works I was excited about his new book release and hope you do to.



Book Review By Lynia White


Book Cover  
The conversation. You may be wondering, "What conversation do I need to have?" Hill Harper explains what we need to talk about in order for black people to have good, lasting relationships. There seems to be an endless number of books out there that discuss black relationships. However, as you read this book, you will see why this one is unique. 
 
Hill Harper is an accomplished film, television and stage actor. Harper graduated magna cum laude from Brown University with a Bachelor of Arts degree and graduated with a J.D. (cum laude) from Harvard Law School, as well as with a Masters in Public Administration from the Kennedy School of Government. In 2004, People magazine selected Harper as one of their "Sexiest Men Alive." Harper is author of the New York Times bestsellers Letters to a Young Brother, which won two NAACP awards and was named Best Book for Young Adults by the American Library Association in 2007, and Letters to a Young Sister, which was released in June 2008. With a good education, great career, and a "way with the ladies," Harper is in a good position to give advice on relationships.

Harper's latest book brings men and women together to explore the communication gap that has destroyed relationships. He offers advice on how to bridge that gap. Communication is the key in a relationship. Without good communication, a relationship is doomed to failure. This is true of any relationship, regardless of race. However, African-Americans face unique challenges. Historically, blacks in America have been able to endure oppression and hardship because of having strong families. In recent decades, the family has taken a severe hit. So many of our children are being raised in single-parent homes. If our relationships survive, the family unit can stick together. Not only will the children benefit, but our communities will grow stronger as well. 
 
Regarding the relationship between males and females, Harper writes: 
 
...I started to wonder whether men and women even talk to each other. I mean really talk--easily and freely, without reservation--like we do with our friends. I even started to wonder whether men and women considered each other friends, or if we automatically compartmentalized our relationships: We're either lovers or we're platonic friends, but not both. Truth be told, the comments I heard made me wonder--despite all the emphatic "I love men" and "I love women" declarations--whether men and women really even liked each other at all. (pg. 21)
 
Even though Harper does not claim to be a relationship expert, he raises some good questions leading us all to think about how we handle our relationships and how we can make them succeed. I think this book is worth reading.

Lynia White is a columnist, book reviewer and the founder of The Quality Corner Bookstore. This book and others can be found online for 10% off at www.thequalitycorner.com. For more book reviews by Lynia, visit her blog at http://thequalitycorner.blogspot.com

Source: BlackNews.com

Why wait until Thanksgiving to be thankful?

One of my life's mottos: "Give me flowers while I live."

I told my children to not bring flowers to my funerals. I don't want a soul to bring me flowers after I die.

What's the point?

How can I appreciate it?

Thanksgiving is another problem for me. People wait once a year to give thanks for others and what they have?

I personally don't believe that the pilgrims were being thankful about crossing that ocean, but they were thankful for the life to come. They were in a new land and meeting new people.

What does that say for us?

My mother used to sing the song: Don't wait until the battles over, shout now!

We really never know how bad things are for ourselves until we walk in others peoples shoes and then when we come back we realize that things were not as bad as it seemed. Instead of walking in people's shoes, why don't we just feel thankful and grateful for where we are and what's to come?

I know I may sound crazy and but I think in relationships we forget the just because.

I used to hate for my ex to only do special things except on anniversaries, birthdays and so forth, when I would give him what he wanted whenever he asked.

He used to say, "Hold on! You have to wait two months when your birthday comes."

I would bite down on my lip and pretend like this didn't hurt my feelings, but it did.

Why should I have to wait? Why? Why? Why?

Don't wait until it's too late to celebrate, be grateful and most of all be thankful for those that you care about and those that care about you.

(PS. That isn't a turkey at the top. It's an emu. LOL)

Clash Of The Titans

Anyone who knows me personally knows that I'm a movie nut.

Occassionally I find out when good movies are coming out and today, I found out that Clash of the Titans is coming. A remake of course, but still the classic story line.

I didn't get into the mythology thing until my sister started studying it at school and soon after I was a good fan of Hera. She was inherently evil trying to do go for herself and I liked that because at least she was honest about it. LOL. Why on earth Zeus would marry a woman like that I still cannot figure out, but hey, that's life. Men still do it today

I want to find out more about the Titans just because so if anyone knows other resources online that go into depth about them, please let me know.

5 Minutes, 5 Questions With… Jewell R. Powell, author of Marriage 101

JoeyPinkney.com Exclusive Interview 5 Minutes, 5 Questions With… Jewell R. Powell, author of Marriage 101 (Revell/Baker Publishing Group) Jewell R. Powell, known as the "Marriage Coach", is an author, entrepreneur and inspirational teacher with a heart and passion for helping couples have great marriages. She is the author of Marriage 101: Building a Life Together by Faith published by Revell/Baker. Marriage 101 is the first marriage book with a curriculum written for the African American Christian market. In Marriage 101, you will discover God's purpose for marriage, how to develop godly character, how to communicate effectively and much more. With biblical examples, study questions and scripture meditations perfect for individuals or couples, you will be challenged to examine areas in your life that you may need to change so that your marriage can thrive. Joey Pinkney: Where did you get the idea and inspiration to write Marriage 101? Jewell R. Powell: In 2001, I really thought my marriage was over – that there was no hope. I was a born-again believer, faithfully going to church and Bible Study, active in the ministry, yet, I thought I was the only one having problems in my marriage. I was still very much in love with my husband and wanted my marriage to work, but I was not happy. At that time, I believed no one could help me but God. Since He created marriage, I decided to go to the Bible. This led me on a spiritual journey to discover why God created the covenant of marriage and how to fulfill the vows I made to God and Lewis on May 1996. I found the answers I was looking for. Since I was on the brink of divorce and was able to turn my marriage around, I wrote it to help others who also may feel there is no hope. JP: What sets Marriage 101 apart from other books in its genre? JRP: I believe most books are either written from a skill perspective [learn all the ways to you can communicate with one another, know that men are physical and women are emotional etc] or from men and women with PhDs who use their experience as a marriage counselor by using other stories to get their point across. I am just a Christian woman who was married and unhappy and decided to seek God for answers. This book is simply my journey on how I researched the Bible and applied the principles to reconcile my marriage. JP: As an author, what are the keys to your success that lead to Marriage 101 getting out to the public? JRP: 1) I believe people are looking for truth. They are looking for real, genuine people who are just like them. 2) My faith and success in my marriage lead to success with this book. God's word is true and when you apply them, you will get success. 3) Marriage 101 is changing people's lives and their marriages. 4) Word of mouth is the key to our success. JP: As an author, what is your writing process? How long did it take for you to start and finish Marriage 101?JRP: I've been working on Marriage 101 since 2001. I self-published the 1st edition in 2003, then added a workbook along with a 2nd edition in 2007. Marriage 101 was picked up by a major publishing company in 2007. Revell published it in February 2009. JP: What's next for Jewell Powell? JRP: I've just completed a Marriage 101 mini-book series which discusses the following: 1) Communication, 2) Finance, 3) Parenting and 4) Sex & Intimacy. We have other topics coming as well. We've also just completed a Marriage 101 Marriage Enrichment Curriculum and Pre-marital Curriculum for church leaders. Lewis and I have been traveling nationwide teaching the Marriage 101 Principles http://www.marriage101.us/ http://www.facebook.com/Marriage101 http://www.blogtalkradio.com/Marriage-101 http://www.myspace.com/jewellpowell http://www.twitter.com/jewellrpowell Marriage 101 is a #1 Bestseller for 2009 on http://mosaicbooks.com/ P.S. Join the Joey Reviews Newsletter at http://joeypinkney.com/joey-reviews-newsletter.html. Please click on the banners to learn more about each JoeyPinkney.com sponsor: You need to advertise with JoeyPinkney.com! (Click here for more information.)

Since I'm big on kissing, but can never find a guy who is, I enjoy finding good reasons to kiss and Tango.com gives five good ones.

I couldn't pass not sharing them with you...

5 Reasons Kissing Is Good For You

Kissing is great for romantic bonding and just as awesome for your health.

by Melissa Noble

Read more: http://www.yourtango.com/200943596/5-reasons-kissing-good-you#ixzz0XFK3ZbOQ

We know kissing as a social pleasantry, the appropriate ending to a date and a means of connecting with our main squeeze. The collision of lips and tongues that we often take for granted has a whole lot more bubbling under the surface than what meets the eye. Swine flu scares and mono aside, kissing actually does a body very, very good. Kissing Capital Of The World

1.) Kissing boosts immunity. A recent study reported in the journal Medical Hypotheses says kissing may increase a woman's immunity from Cytomegalovirus. Cytomegalovirus, contracted through mouth to mouth contact, can cause infant blindness and other birth defects if the mother is a carrier during pregnancy. Otherwise, the bug is relatively harmless in adults. Kissing has long been thought to be a way to pass along bugs and thus strengthen the body's defenses.

2.) Kissing helps you pick the best mate. Anthropologist Helen Fisher describes kissing as a "mate assessment tool." Discover Your "Type" (It Really Exists)

Read more: http://www.yourtango.com/200943596/5-reasons-kissing-good-you#ixzz0XFJMNKRN

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SpatSolver - The Ultimate Arguement resolution Device

Don't you just wish you could really buy a device like this, but for me it's more for the man that it would be for me. I think I remember almost everything word for word.

Funny!

Why Did I Get Married Too? by Tyler Perry

I enjoyed the first movie so much, I wanted to share the upcoming second movie trailer.

enjoy...

I personally think they should come out with a Why Did I Get Married Anthology where people around the country actually talk about why they did get married and how it worked out for the bad or the good.

My Son - Dropping Knowledge?

My son's not much of a reader or a writer although very imaginative when it's punishment time.

(imagination runs throughout our family)

I can't really say I heard him say much a deep thought in his twelve years, but I have to say that he's been a seraphim when I needed it the most.

Today, perusing his Facebook, something I try not to do because I'm respecting his privacy (you know that's a lie, but he might be reading this, LOL) I saw one of his status messages that read:

 "y iz it lyk the big things n life and the people that u care about seem small but everything else seems huge, gigantic, enormous "

I had to read it three times in order to understand what language he was speaking and then once more to get the gist of it.

I smiled once I had the understanding of what my son (proud momma here) was saying.

For a twelve year old that's pretty old manish to say, but he's always had a way of showing me a lot of things without saying a whole bunch.

Just from that sentence you can understand why I love him so darn much and I don't mind he continues to hide his powerfulness and intelligence until the right time.

So without him catching on that we are "spying" on him. Can you go to his November 4 at 8:19pm status message and just click the "Like." He'll wonder why, but shhhhhh, we won't tell.

http://www.facebook.com/home.php?#/profile.php?id=1301799823

I was HACKED!

There are three times in my life when I felt I wasn't who I was.

The first was in high school when someone took credit for an article I had written. I watched as everyone gave them accolades about the best article EVER written in the schools newspaper and I had to watch as they were treated like a queen. Back then I didn't speak up and I wasn't a fighter.

To this day I've had some anomosity toward the person, but you live and learn.

The second time I was a friend of the family who used my identity and ran over my credit.

It took me over fifteen years to fight with Citibank to get that off my credit and leave me alone about it and I'm still a lot resentful.

Now we hit the third time. Someone took over my hubbooks yahoo mail account and have literary just ruined my life by sending out emails to say I'm stuck in London and I can't leave.

It's a good thing I'm networked not only through that email but others as well and I also have intelligent friends and contacts who immediately saw a scam and contacted me.

I know I can't expect everyone to be good and moral, but I'm hopeful enough to ask why on earth would someone want to hurt someone and take credit or steal someone's identity - the only real thing that's valuable to us?

I'm realistic enough to know this is a silly question to ask, but I love being a good person and I dislike people who do things to hurt others in any kind of way.

I'm not going to discuss this matter any deeper, because things happen. You roll with the punches and keep going. I'll probably talk more at How To Love A Black Woman about losing yourself to yourself. I know the issue of me NOT speaking up when my feelings are hurt and also my forever hope that doesn't seem to run out are going to generate some posts so keep on the lookout.

If you've received any emails from my hubbooks account, please report it to Yahoo security immediately. Thanks

(this also appears on my website as well)