Creating a positive sexual vibe is possible, but it will take time.
BY DR. TRINA READ
 BigStockPhoto Create positive energy toward your sex life and watch things turn around. Positive sexual anticipation is one of the most powerful aphrodisiacs you will ever come across. Negative sexual anticipation is also as powerful and will zap any sexual spark in a nanosecond. So it goes without saying that this seemingly insignificant thing called sexual desire can make or break good sex. In fact, the number one reason long-term couples in North America stop having sex is a lack of sexual desire. What is sexual desire? It is the thoughts you have toward your sexual experience—good, bad or otherwise. Can you remember back in the love-haze of a newbie relationship? You waited with bated breath to see, touch, smell, rip clothes off and have wild sex. Because you spent hours positively anticipating sex, by the time you had that wonderful sex you were instantly aroused. Now compare that with your thoughts if sex were initiated today. For too many women "foreplay" becomes days of anxiety, walking on egg shells and wondering when sex will be initiated. When the sex is initiated, the ability to get sexually aroused takes twice as long (if it happens at all) because she has to get out of her negative thought pattern and into feeling the positive pleasures of her body. Women need at least 10 to 15 minutes of warm up; ironically the same length of the average sexual encounter. Suddenly, the sex is over and she hasn’t had a chance to enjoy herself. Even if she had an orgasm this can create an even deeper resentment towards any future sex act. Voila, you’ve hit a sex rut and digging yourself deeper every time you have sex. In order to bring the zing back into your sex life, it’s essential to build a positive expectation towards sex. http://www.hitchedmag.com/article.php?id=907 |
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