Oh-kay, maybe I'm over thinking things. I was reading this article yesterday on tango about basically settling for Mr. Okay.
In a way I think I needed these words of wisdom because I had made a list a couple of days ago about what I felt a good man was.
In the list about twenty things came up, but in my life, I was very specific about my want and needs. In the article I read, I at least was doing things half right.
Yet, I felt with this list in my head, I should be able to find Mr. Right instead of just Mr. Right Now. I wasn't and this was just disheartening because I figure I should start looking now so at least I can spend a good twenty years with someone before health issues pop up and we can't do the things we'd like to do. Plus, with forty being the new twenty, LOL, I figure we can retire together happily as the kids march off to college with still a chance grossing them out by making love loudly in the other room.
Still in my list though, I was asking too much according to "experts."
The dating expert in this article said I should only have three needs that I have to adamantly require, while all the rest are optional.
This really rubbed me the wrong way and I wanted to really listen to what I wanted to listen to in this regards.
Why three? Why couldn't it be ten? Or maybe eight?
Well, the three is suppose to help you get at least to the first date. Most times, if he wasn't meeting at least all of the required, I'd discount him out. Dirty nails, bad teeth and I've been as shallow as to stop him cold with bad language.
The expert stated that one cannot really tell Mr. Right just from a list of things and one needed to give that person a chance. Influence might just win out and get what one wants. MIGHT! Yet, I would never know for sure unless I at least tried one date with him.
So out of all the over twenty things I had to break it out to at least three.
Bearing down my stubbornness, I decided to take on this challenge. I mean, I'm trying to be a more malleable person. TRYING.
1. Does he have valid paperwork? This means he has a legitimate paperwork, he files his taxes, he's a registered voter, he has no criminal actiivity and a legitimate job.
I know that sounds crazy to ask for and for the request to be #1, but this sets the base for a man over forty living in and around Detroit. It also shows me he can take care of his responsibility somewhat as an adult and I'll just have to get to know him more before I can misjudge him, but at least he gets a couple of dates before I make a judgement.
Plus, as a single mother with children, I don't just introduce my children to anything or anyone. It takes me about two to three months to get to know a person before I do so and in that regards I am careful about them even getting the priveledge of even seeing my children.
2. Does he have a sense of humor? Not because this lightens the mood, keeps me entertain and makes me laugh, but because when one deals with me or puts up with me, one HAS to have a sense of humor. Otherwise, they would become very upset and frustrated a lot of times by my verbal banter, quick wit and dirty sarcasm. This is more for him than for me.
Laughter keeps me young and I'm quick to laugh at myself than anything, so he needs to be the same.
3. Is he romantic? This covers a whole scope of things and I like that most men nor women really have a true definition into this because It makes my job of defining it for him better. I think romantic is something like beauty. Whosever eye it's in, that's what it means. In my eyes, I want an uninhibited lover, a thoughtful person, a kind person and a man who loves intimacy on all levels just as much as I do or even more.
Now you can view the rest of the list at:
Posts
Uncovers the phenomenon of women who love emotionally unavailable men. 
0 people saying something:
Post a Comment