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Thursday, February 11, 2010

GUEST POST: Love Language Minute: Keeping Romance Alive


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Keeping Romance Alive


Mark Twain once said, "I can live for two months on a good compliment."  If we take Twain literally, he only needed six compliments a year.  Believe me, Your spouse, your child, your friend will need more than that.  Verbal compliments, or words of affirmation are powerful communicators of love.  Imagine hearing these words, "You look sharp in that suit."  "Do you ever look nice tonight."  "I appreciate your washing the dishes."

"Thanks for getting the baby sitter lined up."  What would happen to the emotional climate in your relationship if you heard such words of affirmation regularly?  Then why not develop the habit of speaking such words to others.  Compliments, stimulate compliments.  

Choose Your Words Wisely
Is there something your spouse has expressed a desire to do?  Such as: loose weight, write an article, go back to school, or learn to ski?  Then why not encourage their dream?  Many dreams are killed by a spouse or friend who says, "It's not realistic."  "We can't afford it."  "You won't follow through."  Why be a dream killer?

Learn to speak encouraging words such as: "I know you can do it because you are an excellent writer."  "If you want to go back to school, we'll find the money."  "If you decide to go on a diet, I'll be happy to join you."  One encouraging statement can be the difference between success and failure.  Remember, we give life or death to people's dreams by what we say.  

Prepare for Valentine's Day in Advance
If you haven't bought your valentine a card, flowers, candy, or a gift, today is the day to do so.  If you don't have any money, then make a card.  Get the paper out of the trash can where you work.  Cut out a heart.  Write the words, "I love you."  Be creative.  You don't have to have money to keep romance alive, but you do have to thoughtful.  

The husband who ignores Valentines Day is digging his own marital grave.  Marriages are kept alive by expressions of love.  Why not write a love letter to your spouse today.  On Valentine's Day, you can give it to her or your can read it to her.  Or, you can do both.  Words of affirmation is one way of keeping romance alive in a marriage.  Don't miss this opportunity.       

Don't Let Valentines Day Be Just a Normal Day
Happy Valentines Day.  This is the day to be nice.  Don't go home without a card.  Underline key words and add a few of your own.  If you can afford it, have flowers delivered before you get home.  Take your lover out to dinner.  Or, if she prefers a nice quiet evening at home, then be sure you wash the dishes and take out the trash. 

Do something different.  Don't let this be a normal day.  What's the big deal, you ask?  The big deal is keeping romance alive in a marriage.  Some husbands only want sex, but I can tell you that when you separate sex from romance, your wife will never be satisfied. 

Pick out a few choice lines from the Song of Solomon in the Bible and read them to your wife, and you'll have a happy valentines day.  

Disappointed?
If you're married, and this Valentine's Day proves to be a disappointment because your spouse didn't make it a special day, don't despair.  Couple's often have different ideas about what it means to be romantic.  Sit down and make a list of the things that would have made Valentine's really special for you.  Put this list in a safe place because next year, you are going to give it to your spouse a week before Valentines Day.  

But do I have to wait a year for my marriage to get better?  No, No.  If you haven't read my book The 5 Love Languages, this is the time to read it, and get your husband the Men's Edition.  Discuss it and learn to speak each others love language and watch romance return long before another Valentines Day. 

Adapted from The 5 Love Languages The Secret to Love that Last by Dr. Gary Chapman. To find out more about Dr. Chapman's resources, visit www.5lovelanguages.com.

Saturday, February 13: Valentine's Day
Building Relationships Radio


Make it a date-on the day before Valentine's Day, join us for Building Relationships with Dr. Gary Chapman. Some see this as a greeting card and chocolate factory holiday. It's something people thought up to make money from the unsuspecting. Dr. Gary Chapman thinks it's an opportunity for you and me to show love to someone special in our lives. We'll talk about that and take calls and questions from listeners, so join us for the next Building Relationships with Dr. Gary Chapman. 


Tune in to Building Relationships with Dr. Gary Chapman, the weekly radio broadcast brought to you by Moody Radio and Moody Publishers. Listen live online Saturday mornings at 10 a.m. CST at moodyradio.org,check your local radio station, or download free podcasts and get more information.


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