ARTICLE: Emotionally Healthy Relationships

There is nothing more frustrating than a relationship that is always in turmoil and in need of a referee. Friends and family can be supportive but they tend to take sides or else they don't have the qualifications to help as a counselor. If one partner is constantly using the other partner to "fix" things that are out of balance in the relationship, it won't be long before the damage done by blaming, nagging and childish behavior will ruin the marriage. Many times our issues are about how we view ourselves, our partners and romance.

Once a person has a good sense of self and is able to meet most of their own needs, they are ready to make a positive contribution to a relationship rather than being a drain hole through which all the energy seeps out. However, getting to that point is sometimes difficult or slow, and even when you think you've resolved your issues, you may find emotional healing an ongoing process. Those who are emotionally and mentally healthy still need refresher courses at times.

When I am discontent about something in my relationship, many times it is my own "stuff" at the core of the problem. Since the problem doesn't have anything to do with my mate, I talk to a life coach who can help me see what I need to do to change and bring more joy into my own life and thus my marriage. Then, once I've moved through that phase and resolved that issue, I share my experience with my spouse.

Life coaches are great resources for letting off steam that could harm a relationship. If your life is a mess, try talking to a trusted life coach instead of blaming your partner for something that has nothing to do with him/her or your marriage. You may find your mate supportive and proud of you for resolving the matter in a mature way that helps both keep the romance alive.

Sometimes, you simply need to hear what the other person has to say without jumping to conclusions before you hear the entire matter. Maybe a change of scenery is needed--a place to get a way from distractions and talk deeply with your partner to reconnect and keep your relationship alive. Don't do like I did an ignore problems hoping they will go away. Get the help you need and make the most out of your relationship.

Yvonne Perry is a freelance writer and the owner of Writers in the Sky Creative Writing Services (WITS). She and her team of ghostwriters are ready to assist you with writing and editing for books, eBooks, Web text, business documents, resumes, bios, articles, and media releases. For more information about writing, networking, publishing, and book promotion, or to sign up for free email delivery of WITS newsletter, please visit http://www.writersinthesky.com New subscribers receive a free eBook Tips for Freelance Writing.

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