How to Love a Black Woman: OPINION: finsta leave his ole lady because she permed her funky nappy fro

Yesterday at 6:42pm

Geez, I'm a sista who is allll about bein yo natural self, but good grief, where is the love? Perms do grow out, ya know. But does love? And so suddenly...She may have dodged a real bullet, here. He sounds extraordinarily controlling.

Yesterday at 6:43pm

He a tripp, aint he E Dubb!

Yesterday at 6:48pm

Chasity D Boone

He is stupid...shoot if he decides to go white and she PERMS her hair is going to leave her too...controlling is the right word.

Yesterday at 6:48pm

His thing is that they discussed it the nite before, she cancelled the appointment. The next morning she went to Krogers to get breakfast n came home looking like one of Charlie's Angels. So...

Yesterday at 6:50pm

Chandra Adams

Now that's definitely a switch...I remember a time when some folks wouldn't be caught dead anywhere near a nappy head...but he is definitely trippin

Yesterday at 6:51pm

Where are the men on this one?! Where's MG!?

Yesterday at 6:52pm

Erick White blow ya horn...

Yesterday at 6:52pm

Lol...Well, I can see being upset, but actually ending it all seems a bit steep. However, if their relationship isn't strong enuf to withstand a perm, it's mos def time to call it quits...

Yesterday at 6:54pm

Personally, my momma had a Florida Evans special...and I grew up in the 70s (the greatest decade) when most of the womenz I seed wore afros and naturals. My sisters, cousins, neighbors, my daddy family, my momma family...Pam Grier, Tamala Jones, Angela Davis, Assata Shakur, fineazz Thelma Evans!! So I thought all womenz just wore short naturals. Then the 80s happened. Point is, I understand my buddy too.

Yesterday at 6:58pm

Sydney Molare'

I got to say, Ericka, I agree with you 100%. Afterall, its HER hair on HER head. Girl, be glad he showed you who he was...and now RUN FOR YOUR LIFE! Cause it just may BE your life on the line next time...

Yesterday at 6:59pm

So now he's David Berkowitz, Sydney? All this cuz he got disappointed with his girls new hairdo? Now he's a controlling monster?

Yesterday at 7:06pm

Thx Sidney...and Amen bcuz her hair may have been just the start.

And, Mr. N, I feel u; I believe all sistas should experience what it is like to be natural, even if just once. However, ya homeboy is on some otha sh!t, and he needs to check himself. If I were her, I'd question if he ever loved me in the 1st place...unless, that is, there were other issues unbeknowngst to us...

Yesterday at 7:08pm

I understand but I think he should hang in there. Maybe she'll change back.
He sounds like one of those real down-for-the-cause brothas, which is a good thing. Does he dress Afrikan all the time?
I've seen t-shirts on sistahs that say something like "My hair may be straight, but I still got a nappy mind."

Yesterday at 7:12pm

Oh, and hecky yeah he is controlling. That is a bit of a mess...And p.s. u can stop playin devil's advocate now. U know ya boy is outta line. She was dishonest and childish for goin behind his back after they discussed it, and she agreed to his terms. However, she shouldn't have had to run it by him in the 1st place...and she should've just been ... See Morewoman enuf about hers to tell that knee-grow to go find somethin else to do b/c runnin her hair-do wasn't an option, but he needs to step back and really take a look @ how foolish this break-up truly is.

Yesterday at 7:16pm

Alicia Ware-Wilson

Wowzers! I love the look of natural hair; never been able get mine that way, but this is ridunkulous (beyond ridiculous)! Whew, I thought my ex was controlling! *searching for his phone # to say I'm sorry* Lmbo

Yesterday at 7:51pm

Barbara Grovner

Oh and why is he waiting till the next morning?

Yesterday at 8:00pm

good one Barbara!

Yesterday at 8:14pm

@Alicia: whatever YOUR hair does on its own is its natural!

Yesterday at 8:15pm

Alicia Ware-Wilson

You're right Karen, but I wanted a fro soooo bad ;-)

Yesterday at 8:16pm

Nicey Jefferies

call 911 hair or get him a right hand or left hand to sleep with.

11 hours ago

Heather Ingram Davis

If it came down 2 something as simple as physical beauty then the relationship wasnt on solid foundation 2 start. I say what a great loss 2 lose over something that petty. I hope better 4 the young lady.

11 hours ago

Amy Elsrod Pelletier

I'm lost from the point they discussed it, and she cancelled the appointment.....who the hell gives him the right to tell her what to do, let alone how she's gonna wear her hair? Physical appearance is but one part of love and attraction. She needs to walk on. Just my thoughts

11 hours ago

Garvey said, "take the kinks out of your mind, not your hair." It amazes me how a brotha cant say to his woman, "hey, I like natural hair; can you wear your hair that way for me?" Yet, she demands that he financially support her ivory ambitions. That freaks me out. For me, Push, personally, I understand my buddy cuz I like nappy heads. Anywayz, I'm amazed at some of the responses.

10 hours ago

Amy, youdontunnastan honey....

10 hours ago

Candy Jackson

Now that's stupid! What is with everybody and the hair thang! This is what I will say on the matter....if my man is sick or in trouble or even in a war, instead of worrying about my hair he should be worried if I'm woman enough to bring him back ......alive!

10 hours ago

Amy Elsrod Pelletier

I know this, Push....I'm the only white girl up in this thread....lol....and obviously don't have the same roots and cultural understanding....but are we really that different, after all? To me, it's still about her appearance and him judging her solely on that. Anyways, I'm done now, I'll leave this thread be :)

10 hours ago

I dig what you tryn to say, A Dubb. But its not that simple; it's deeper than that. Thats why its more than just about her appearance.

10 hours ago

I can see him being really let down by her deciding to get a perm. I'm sure he felt they were on the same plane and that her hair being natural was a huge part of why he was attracted to her in the first place. So he sees her decision as a rejection of what he felt they both stood for. But people change. Maybe the hair thang wasn't so serious to ... See Moreher anymore? I guess she thought he'd accept her choice and that she could make it him love it. Most of us encourage our associates to tailor their looks to please us. It's not just a couple thang.

10 hours ago

Dawn Carter

This sounds like it goes a lot deeper than a perm!!! There is some other things going on that they both or maybe just him or her is not expressing!!!

8 hours ago

I don't know DC. That's how he gave it to me.

8 hours ago

Dawn Carter

Tell him to get real with himself their are other issues that are there and he don't want to admit them. Or maybe he was looking for some reason to break it off with her anyway, or maybe there is another woman and he gonna give her this B.S ass lie as a reason to get with the other woman!!

8 hours ago

There is no other woman to my knowledge. You are still placing the blame on him, as though his complaint isn't a legitimate one. Again, this is interesting.

8 hours ago

U know what, Mr. P...there's a cotrast here that we really haven't spoke about yet that I'm not quite sure u understand. U see, I'm Black, but I'm also a woman, and it's a double whammy. Now what I mean by that is those are dual roles that are sometimes conflicting. As a person of color, I have to enlighten, uplift, encourage, and, most importantly... See More, educate ppl (including my own) about our natural beauty and be an example of what I teach.
However, as a woman I must exude strength, poise, independence, and capability, which means I am completely competent and able to make sound decisions. Therefore, something as simple as styling my hair doesn't require an opinion; it's not a joint decision. But...as a conscious sista I have a responsibility to lead by example, which means all I am and what I do are extensions of me...a representation of me and what I stand for.
However, with all that said, ya boy is still wrong...lol. He should continue to enlighten thru her follies, not leave her...

7 hours ago

Dawn Carter

@Ericka, Get'em Girl.....LMAO!!!!!

7 hours ago

Regina Neequaye

I know my sisters will probably stone me for saying this but I understand his disappointment. I think that is a dumb reason to end the relationship but as a nappy head I can say there is something mentally freeing about being black and not having to conform plus I think my hair is an aphrodisiac. My man can't keep his hands out of my hair.

about an hour ago

Darice Y. Henson

Two sides to the story and we surely don't know her reason for doing it or what that conversation was between the two of them..and we don't know them...I agree that it's her choice as to what she does with her hair...

In relationships we can't say we know everything about a person..their innermost thoughts and desires...sometimes people do things to please others without considering their true selves...maybe that's what she did in this relationship..

To thine own self be true..... See More

about an hour ago

Sylvia Hubbard

Her beauty should not lie in her hair but her heart and if he doesn't see that, he doesn't see her; nor does he deserve her or any other woman who he believes a woman's identity lies on the surface.

29 minutes ago ·

Stop straddling the fence, Tripp. Either you down with natural beauty, and that's what you promote, or not. Perming the kinks out of one's nappy head means something. When my buddy met his ole lady the first thing he said to me was that she was a nappyhead. That turned him on becuz of what her short nappiness meant. But there were other things as ... See Morewell that he liked about her. She's smart, educated, gainfully employed, loves nature, generous, good cook, and foine. But I think the hair thing drew him in.

23 minutes ago

@Sylvia: If her beauty shouldn't lie n her hair then why did she perm it? I think that's how he feels, in that her beauty should not depend on straightened her, to the sacrifice of natural nappy hair.

20 minutes ago