Putting the Man Back in RoMANce

By Debra Glass



For Male Eyes Only!

Face it guys. You've sent her flowers. You sprang for a housekeeper. You've tried the dirty talk. You even manned up and had a three-way with BOB. (Battery operated boyfriend) And she still has a headache! What gives? The sex life of a woman is a conundrum to most men. What do they want? What turns them on? And, most frustrating of all, why won't they tell you? According to University of Chicago researcher, Dr. Edward Laumann, a staggering 43% of women suffer with sexual dysfunction. Lori Futterman, a researcher at the University of California San Diego says 85% of women have trouble developing desire in the first place and 10% cannot get aroused at all while an estimated 5% of women don't experience orgasms. In addition to these sky-high percentages, lack of desire is a chief complaint among women. Most guys have seen enough Oprah to realize that a woman's sex organ is between her ears. But how does the typical red blooded American male engage in foreplay with a woman's brain? It's easy. Feed her fantasies.

Women who fantasize enjoy rich sex lives. They're up to try more positions, have fun with sex toys, outfits, you name it! It's easier than you might think to encourage a woman to fantasize-and you just might enjoy it yourself. A woman's libido is directly linked to emotions regarding romance and love. Remember when you first met her and your sole focus was on her attributes? She thought the same thing about you and she was always up for sex, whenever, wherever. Unfortunately, familiarity tends to quell the hots you had when you were both in the thrall of lust. That doesn't change the fact that women thrive on anticipation and knee-melting sexual tension in a relationship. With stress, life issues, jobs, children, and bills, how can you bring back that feeling of romance women crave? Try reading an erotic romance novel with her! In 2007, romance fiction snatched the largest share of the consumer book market with $1.375 billion in estimated revenue. Of those who read books in 2007, one in five read romance novels. (AP-Ipsos Poll) Romance novelists continue to thrive on the New York Times, USA Today, and Publishers Weekly bestseller lists. These are some strong stats. Why?

Because women enjoy the romance between two characters in a committed relationship. Contrary to popular belief, women don't read romance because they are dissatisfied with their relationships. It's just the opposite. Psychology Today states that women who read romance novels make love with their partners 74% more often than women who don't. 74% guys. That's an even stronger stat. In her article, Sex Lives, Bonnie Williams writes, "reading a romance novel...can help women shift into their "sex self" from their role as mother, wife, employer, or employee." But how does a guy fit into all this? Romance novels are no longer your mother's bodice rippers with cheesy covers and even cornier plots. The books now embody strong heroines who are ladies on the streets and freaks in the sheets. They are in charge of their sexuality and know what they want-and then ask for it in scandalous unladylike language. Not only is the terminology more graphic, so are the sex scenes which are far more plentiful than in the romance novels of old. Ellora's Cave's Romantica books have taken romance to a whole new level. The stories are highly erotic and graphic while still offering spellbinding plots and captivating characters. With quickies, novellas, and novels published in a wide variety of tastes and genres such as paranormal, contemporary, fantasy, bondage, and historical, readers can easily, quickly, and anonymously download an Ellora's Cave E-book for immediate inspiration. Author, Phyllis Curott (The Love Spell) adds, "Romance novels are the secret erotica of American women. These books describe what women want. The heroines are very strong and very feminine. And surveys have found that women who read romance novels have sex more often and enjoy themselves more than women who don't read them."

That said, as an educational tool, romance novels contain a wealth of knowledge for men interested in spicing up things in the bedroom. "Women readers tell us that their husbands read the books they buy from Ellora's Cave, or that they read them together. Some describe jointly reading a sex scene and then acting it out!" says Ellora's Cave Publisher, Raelene Gorlinsky. Although Ellora's Cave was one of the first publishers to focus on erotic titles, other big houses in the romance industry have followed suit. Harlequin boasts an erotic line as well as Kensington, Samhain, and others. With the upsurge of erotic titles, romance houses and bookstores are seeing a spike in the number of men readers. Are these men onto something? Perhaps they've discovered how reading romance heats up things in the bedroom. Aside from the added Viagra-like benefits for the woman in your life, with the extensive variety of subgenres, men can also enjoy well researched paranormal, science fiction/fantasy, western, interracial, and even S&M or same sex titles. The male protagonists in romance novels are no longer the pussy whipped pansies of yore. Writers now strive to please savvy readers by creating realistic characters within the realm of their stories.

Here is a taste of my Ellora's Cave paranormal Quickie, Death By Chocolate which will appear in the March 2009 Flavors of Ecstasy I Caveman Anthology-

Uncertainly, Trip walked back into the well-appointed hotel lobby and took the same elevator up to the fifth floor. He followed the brass signs tacked to the walls in the direction of room 506 and slipped the keycard in the door. At once, he heard the lock tumble and the green entry light came on. Slowly, he turned the handle and opened the door. "Aries? You in here?" She stepped into the entry hall dressed in nothing but a lacey bra and panties the same delectable, creamy color of her skin. "Did you bring your handcuffs?" she asked urgently. His gaze dropped to the bottle of lubricant she held in one hand and the box of condoms she had in the other. What the... His thoughts skidded to an abrupt halt. "Whoa!" he exclaimed. "Wait a minute. Are you one of those types who get off on murders?" He tried to look her in the eye but he couldn't tear his gaze away from the plumpness of her pale breasts bubbling over the lace of her bra cups. And her waist... It was so small he could just about wrap his hands around it. His mouth went dry. The thin fabric of her panties creasing at her cleft left no doubt, this girl was au naturel. Shaved. Bare. Mercy! "I need you to tie me up," she said, adopting that businesslike tone again. "And to blindfold me." Still holding the door open with one foot, Trip tossed the keycard on the shelf next to the coffee maker. He rubbed his eyes and blinked before he took a deep breath.

Every fiber of his being urged him to throw the sexy psychic on the bed and bang her brains out but he knew he shouldn't. He rubbed his temples, knowing good and well he was going to hate himself for denying her but he said it anyway. "No." She stopped and stared with those cat eyes. So green. In this light, they were jewel green. "I need you, Trip." His cock rebelled and stiffened so that he had to switch his weight from one leg to the other in hopes she wouldn't see the telltale tent in his trousers. "Listen, Aries, I can't just...I mean, we hardly know each other... Damn, you're a beautiful woman. But I-" She took a step closer and he felt his heart begin to race. Footsteps approached in the hallway outside and he stepped in and let the door close behind him. "I need you to tie me exactly like you found the girl." Her eyes searched his. His resistance wavered. "Why?" "So I can get a feel for her." She tossed the lube and the condoms on the bed, turned and walked toward the dresser. The way her panties rode the cleft of her tight ass made him want to take her up on her offer. It made him want to do a helluva lot more than that. He groaned. She opened a bag of Hershey's Kisses. "I got this chocolate in the gift shop. It's not the kind the killer uses, but hopefully it'll work." Bringing the bag of candy with her, she climbed onto the bed. "Whoa, hold your horses now!" Trip rushed forward, intent on stopping her, but when his fingers encircled her arm electricity shot through him, racing up his arm, into his body and down both legs. His cock surged with blood. Her gaze drifted to his dark fingers encircling her arm and then lifted once more so that her eyes steadily held his. "I need you to tie me to the bed just like the victim. Blindfold me. Feed me the chocolate. Take off my panties. Do to me what the killer did."

Reading a short, sexy romance together might be just the thing to get her juices flowing-figuratively and literally!

Spice up your sex life!

o Go to the website of an E-book publisher (such as jasminejade.com) with your significant other
o Search by genre or theme for a story that will really turn her on
o Read it together
o Act out the love scenes

She'll love you for it!

About The Author

Debra Glass is the author of numerous erotic romance novels with Ellora's Cave. In addition to her recent non-fiction release with The Lotus Circle, Mediumship To Go, she has written several regional folklore books and has had various articles published in Fate Magazine and Civil War magazines. She lives in Alabama with her adorable, romance reading husband and one very spoiled black cat. http://www.debraglass.wordpress.com

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Debra_Glass

Monday Morning Motivation - "Please Pass The Activator"

Join Our Mailing List! Monday Morning Motivation "Please Pass The Activator " Greetings! Ok, let's be honest...out of everyone that is reading this, who had a Jheri Curl?  For my younger subscribers who were born after the eighties, this might be a foreign term to you.  If so, simply Google "Michael Jackson with Jheri curl" and you should find a plethora of pictures and definitions.  According to Wikipedia, "The Jheri curl  is a hairstyle that was common and popular in the African American community. Invented by and named for Jheri Redding, the Jheri curl gave the wearer a glossy, loosely curled look."  Now don't get it twisted.  That glossy shine by no means came easy.  The harsh mixture of chemicals that were needed to make this look possible often left the user's hair in an extremely brittle and dry state.  In order to bring those juicy curls to life, Michael Jackson and all of those that followed suit with the popular hairstyle from the 1980's had to add a product called activator. Now think about that major dream, vision or goal that you have for your life. Can you picture it?  Some of you may be living it right now, but for many of you, it is only a dream, vision or goal in your mind or on paper that has no life.  So what's the difference?  What is missing?  What do those that are living in their dreams have, that the rest of you do not?   The secret ingredients are Faith and Belief.  Until you add those things to your dreams...they are dead.  You need faith and belief to bring your goals to life.  Faith and belief are the activators that add the juice to your vision, thus making it a reality. These two ingredients create an activator that gives your life that shine...no longer lying dormant, dull and lifeless. If you don't have the activator, you may as well not speak about it. If you don't have the activator, you may as well not write about it. If you don't have the activator, you may as well not waste time daydreaming about it or visualizing it. Sometimes we are not even aware that our style is dry and crunchy. We say things like, "I really want to go to back to school BUT..." "I really want this job BUT..." You might as well finish those sentences with, "...BUT....I don't believe." Or "BUT...I don't have faith." We defeat ourselves before we even begin with our little faith and lack of belief.  If you find yourself speaking in such a way, it's time to get some activator!   If you find that a loved one or a friend is in a drought, don't have them walking around looking like that!  You would not let a loved one or a friend that you truly cared about walk around in public with their hair all over their head looking all crazy.  So don't allow your people to kill their dreams by not believing that they will come to pass.  Give them a little squirt of your activator. Share how it has brought the shine back into your life.  Share your faith and belief based activator until they are able to stock up on their own supply.  Last week I heard a quote that really resonated with me.  It said, "When your focus is clear, what you want will show up in your life, but only to the extent that your focus is clear." Let me amend that twice over for the purposes of this message. "When your faith is strong, what you want will show up in your life, but only to the extent that your faith is strong." "When you believe, what you want will show up in your life, but only to the extent that you believe." 1 Part Faith + 1 Part Belief = Activator* (*The activation of your vision, your goals and your dreams) Invest in an unlimited lifetime supply.   Join Our Mailing List! Cardio Kickboxing Fall Schedule SAVE THE DATE!  Cardio Kickboxing Classes will resume on Tuesday September 28th, 2010 at 4:30 PM and will continue at the same time on every Tuesday thereafter.  PLEASE make note of the new time.  The price ($5) and Location (Rhema Healthcare in Southfield) will remain the same. Monica Marie Jones The Literary Loft www.monicamariejones.com

I need a man tough like Victor Sweet, romantic like Gregory Godek, spiritual like Kirk Franklin, financially savvy like Suzy Orman & looking like Boris Kodjoe.

I need a man tough like Victor Sweet, romantic like Gregory Godek, spiritual like Kirk Franklin, financially savvy like Suzy Orman & looking like Boris Kodjoe.

I've been doing some bucket listing lately and as my children get older, I have challenge myself to find what I want by the time they leave out the house.

It's hard though because as I turn 40, I'm becoming real honest with myself.

Most times I want to be left alone.

I mean yeah, I'd love to spend time with someone, and not see the empty pillow.

But I stil lhave bed issues where I don't want to share my sleeping space. And I need a lot of time by myself. Not just to write, but just because I love myself so much, I love to spend time BY MYSELF.   

on top of that, I know I have idiosyncrasis that will never go away and he'll have to accept the things I am and accept the things I will never become - Like his maid, his gopher or his mother.

I've learned can care about someone, not take care of them. I want to just care about someone. I'm not picking up your socks from the floor and I'm not going to put the toilet seat down for you or train you to do it. Those are things you should already be doing coming into a relationship with me.

By 40 years old, any man I decide to be with should already be house trained and can take care of himself.

I'm not your mother, instructor, nagger, maid or domestic engineer.


I don't intimate, but I will delegate and get the job done, but it will not be without some procrastination on my part. I'm a princess of it, trying to get myself out the family.

I'm just his encourager, backup, lover, freak, wife, friend, hoodchick and sweetie (but don't call me sweetheart. I hate that.)

I'm going to bring an intelligent, get the job done, down for anything woman to the table that will be all she can be for her man.

On the other side of the table I would like the following:

I need a man tough like Victor Sweet, romantic like Gregory Godek, spiritual like Kirk Franklin, financially savvy like Suzy Orman & looking like Boris Kodjoe.

Victor Sweet: 
If you saw the movie Four Brothers, you'll know who Victor Sweet was. He was the bad guy, but he was just too smooth for words. His character made your panties wet and I'm talking about the men too.



Gregory Godek:

http://www.1001waystoberomantic.com/greg_godek.htm

Whom I believe to be the most romantic man on this planet. Check out anyone of his books. If I became a Queen of the Universe, I would make his books mandatory reading.

Kirk Franklin:

He ain't something to look at, but I enjoy that he's a Jesus Freak without shoveling it down my throat. I choose him because he has some "secrets" and some "weaknesses" but he's a man and he's trying.

Suzy Orman:

http://www.suzeorman.com/

I'm not gay, but I love Suzy's financial savvy sense. I'd like a guy to have our future in mind at all times like Suzy does. Planning, putting away, getting our nest egg together so we can live on easy street and spend our retirement days together and not working ourselves to death.



and finally, the icing on the cake...

Boris Kodjoe

Now I never met the brother, but not only does he seem like a great guy on the inside, but he could make a sister forget all aboout her morals and upbringing with that body and big head of his. Even my fingers are sweating over the keyboard just thinking of him. LOL. I want a guy who's healthy conscious or at least trying to be.

Now I was going to put Obama on the list because I love the way he presents his lady his public. A man who's not afraid to show how a woman makes him feel like a man is always a plus for me.

Today's guys don't want to show their p-whipped, but they don't know that just makes them sexier.

Here's an oldie but goodie as I end this post and download preview copy of Gregory Godek's book right below here, called Bring Food. Arrive Naked: A Guide to Radical Romance & The Pursuit of Life Long Love.




If you have trouble previewing the video, go here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LRx-BY1Z9sk


Just as I promised, here is a free preview of Gregory Godek's book. Just click o nthe link and download. http://www.1001waystoberomantic.com/PDF/BFANebookPREVIEW.pdf. 

If you love it so much, CLICK HERE or the image of the book to buy it!


I want to thank imdb.com and photobucket.com for the database to help me find these photos fast.