How To Love A Black Woman Turn Off Series #1: Don't know what real hell on earth is...

 As I explore the possibility of allowing myself to fall in love, I'm exploring and analyzing myself. I have a lot of things that irk me, but more important. There are things that really will turn me off about a guy that I don't care how sexy his azz is, I just can't become attracted to him anymore.

Hence, I have called the series,  How To Love A Black Woman Turn Off Series www.loveablackwoman.com

Turn off # 1: Guys who never been through hell and back on the planet Earth

The first of these is something my father (the man that broke the mold) created in me. He was such a strong man. I mean at one point in my life, I really thought this man could leap tall buildings in a single bound. He was just amazing to me and to this day he still is.


A better translation of the title would be little boy-men who think their apartment they live in is too small is a problem.

Now I do understand one man's problem may be another man's relief, (and I'm not just talking about women), but problems that humans have in a life span.

Recently, I dropped this quote in my social network's status message:


“Sometimes, struggles are exactly what we need in our life. If we were to go through our life without any obstacles, we would be crippled. We would not be as strong as what we could have been. Give every opportunity a chance, leave no room for regrets.” Author Unknown

So taking this above quote and comparing it to per say the "brother" thinking his apartment is too small and always miserable about that, then you can see where I get this point from.

Tyler Perry said something in a play once. He said (and this is paraphrasing) Women like men who they know in the middle of the night when there is a bump in the house, the man will get up and say, "Don't worry. You just lay there. I'll handle it and I'll be right back."

As a single woman and head of my household, I would love a man like that because guess who has to get up and look around when there's a bump around the house.

And even though I have a large backside, great birthing hips and I'm pretty strong when I need to be, I really don't have the power to off an crackhead bent on taking my stuff.

In the past couple of years though, I've met men who are lousy at finances, can't be on time to save their lives and always talking about what they want to do and not doing it and they had these controlling mothers who took care of them. These men are out in the world thinking their going through some things because they have to get the nerve to call their mother for gas money, whereas I've known men who had to get the guts to call their mother to tell them their dying of AIDS.

I know I'm probably being harsh because another man's misery could really be someone's happiness. I don't know all the problems men face, but I do know enough to know when you can say I've been through real hell and back, then maybe we can talk.

What do you think? What's a real problem? And have you seen any exaggerated guys like this?