I haven't blogged any personal sililioquies in a while, but this was heavy on my heart and mind and I thought I needed to take time to share it with you.
Children are a needy bunch. I’ve learned that the hard way as a single parent with almost sixteen years of experience.
I’ve always been a person who knows their faults and isn’t afraid to admit them. Internally I’m selfish, yet I think It’s a unique selfishness that for some people see as a giving quality to them.
Also I do things to make sure I’m not bothered again. I don’t like to teach people twice or repeat myself over wishes and requests.
When I’m angry or upset, I need complete silence. I can’t stand to be spoken to or even hear anything unnecessary when I’m very upset about something. I usually go into a corner like a wounded animal, lick my wounds, take a nap and once I’m awake I’m fine.
I don’t know what I would have done if my mother had not taught me to recognize my faults as a mother and gear my children to accept these faults about me, adjust themselves around my faults and love me still.
I tell you all this because I had something horrible happen too me lately and mothering was the last thing I wanted to do when I came home on a Thursday night with three kids who clearly needed my attention and time.
When I said kids are a needy bunch I really meant that. Not to be mean, but to say that they have a lot of needs. Aside from what the government tells you to provide for them, shelter, food, security, and all that jazz,
I also have to give up my time to hear stories about their life angst, their school work, misunderstandings about things they need me to hear and which sibling is bothering them this hour. Let’s not forget the list of demands like new pairs of shoes, a brush to keep their waves tight and something from the hair supply store.
Yet when I tell you how much my kids know my faults and love me, on Thursday night when I walked in the door and they all started speaking at once, they immediately stopped mid-sentence and knew something was wrong with me.
In as short as a sentence a possible, I told them my problem.
I remember my fifteen year old reaching over and turning off the television. Whatever was imperative for the ten year old to say and share just dissipated and she turned around and walked away while the fourteen year old boy helped me carry my bags to my room, put my coat up, turned the television off in there and then closed the door behind him as he left out.
The house was silent and when I sat on the bed to wallow in frustration and anger, I knew I was blessed to have some really great kids.
After my nap, I had to commend myself on a good job I had done as a mother. I appreciated their understanding and later told them.
I learned in the past it’s okay if your kids know you’re not Superwoman and that you’re a real life human. All this Mommy business is a learning experience and I’m coming to find out that if you really rear that little human beings in the way that you want them to grow up, they will grow up in that fashion. In all my days, at that point when I was going through a crisis, I’m glad that they were there to understand what I needed in order to be a better Mommy for them.
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I’ve always been a person who knows their faults and isn’t afraid to admit them. Internally I’m selfish, yet I think It’s a unique selfishness that for some people see as a giving quality to them.
Also I do things to make sure I’m not bothered again. I don’t like to teach people twice or repeat myself over wishes and requests.
When I’m angry or upset, I need complete silence. I can’t stand to be spoken to or even hear anything unnecessary when I’m very upset about something. I usually go into a corner like a wounded animal, lick my wounds, take a nap and once I’m awake I’m fine.
I don’t know what I would have done if my mother had not taught me to recognize my faults as a mother and gear my children to accept these faults about me, adjust themselves around my faults and love me still.
I tell you all this because I had something horrible happen too me lately and mothering was the last thing I wanted to do when I came home on a Thursday night with three kids who clearly needed my attention and time.
When I said kids are a needy bunch I really meant that. Not to be mean, but to say that they have a lot of needs. Aside from what the government tells you to provide for them, shelter, food, security, and all that jazz,
I also have to give up my time to hear stories about their life angst, their school work, misunderstandings about things they need me to hear and which sibling is bothering them this hour. Let’s not forget the list of demands like new pairs of shoes, a brush to keep their waves tight and something from the hair supply store.
Yet when I tell you how much my kids know my faults and love me, on Thursday night when I walked in the door and they all started speaking at once, they immediately stopped mid-sentence and knew something was wrong with me.
In as short as a sentence a possible, I told them my problem.
I remember my fifteen year old reaching over and turning off the television. Whatever was imperative for the ten year old to say and share just dissipated and she turned around and walked away while the fourteen year old boy helped me carry my bags to my room, put my coat up, turned the television off in there and then closed the door behind him as he left out.
The house was silent and when I sat on the bed to wallow in frustration and anger, I knew I was blessed to have some really great kids.
After my nap, I had to commend myself on a good job I had done as a mother. I appreciated their understanding and later told them.
I learned in the past it’s okay if your kids know you’re not Superwoman and that you’re a real life human. All this Mommy business is a learning experience and I’m coming to find out that if you really rear that little human beings in the way that you want them to grow up, they will grow up in that fashion. In all my days, at that point when I was going through a crisis, I’m glad that they were there to understand what I needed in order to be a better Mommy for them.
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