ARTICLE: Are You Chasing After an Idealized Version of Love?

As we ring in the New Year, we have to evaluate what really is true and what we're hoping to be true.

They say being single around this time of year is the most depressing time of the year there is. 


I want to say to all that it doesn't have to be depressing. Use these last moments of the year to start making affirmation instead of promises of what you want to change about yourself. And don't worry. If you fall off the horse, just get back on and start back over. 

Are You Chasing After an Idealized Version of Love?

By Alexandra Scott 

Over the years, I have known many women that seemed to struggle to find the love that they were so desperately seeking. And many times, I could see that what they were chasing did not really exist. What they seemed to be so eager to find and so disappointed by many times, is an idealized version of love that really only exists in a fantasy world.

I think you know what I am talking about. The kind of hot and steamy romances that you see on soap operas, in movies, and in those romance novels that are so often written by women who have never really had much success themselves.

If you have found that your love life seems to suffer more than it needs to and if you have also found that you are not finding the kind of romance that you seek... it may be because it does not really exist.

I'm all for true romance. And I do believe that any woman can find a love that is passionate and satisfying. It's just that there is a thin line between what is really possible and what it is only possible in fiction and fantasy.

It's easy to get caught up in dramatic plot lines and steamy sagas and hope that you may be able to experience something similar in your own life. However, that can sometimes come at a price that is too much to pay. And that is when a woman will pass up on the real thing and hold out for something that will never come to pass.

Truth is, love is everywhere if you are willing to look for it. And although it may seem a little less alluring than the kind that can be created in the human mind, it has its qualities that cannot be recreated as well.

There are going to be arguments in any relationship. And there are going to be times when it seems as though things are not as easy and as smooth as we want them to be. Love is not as cut and dry as you see it in films and read about in books. Even the best men are going to have their bad qualities and their habits that get on your nerves.

When you feel like you just cannot succeed when it comes to love, the question that you may need to confront is... are you chasing after an idealized version of love? Or are you seeking the real thing?

Do you want to win back a man you lost? Go to: Win Back Your Ex Boyfriend

If you want to know how to attract the right man, here is where you want to go: Attract Your Dream Man

Copyright (c) 2011 Alexandra Scott. All Rights Reserved.

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EVENT: Secure your seat at Write your Vision - Build your Dream Team workshop VIA @jillblackwell

click thru for details   WRITE YOUR VISION BUILD YOUR DREAM TEAM 2012 WORKSHOP Friday, December 30. 2011 Harvest Christian Church 24000 West Seven Mile Road, Detroit BRAND & DESIGN YOUR LIFE on PURPOSE Are you making plans to start a business, need to redesign your existing business or design a plan to be successful in 2012? Are you desiring to get out of debt, lose weight, have a better relationship with God, change careers or become a better person?   Every few months, it is valuable to rethink your business plan, and set realistic goals as well as make sure your business plan is in alignment with your personal life so that you and your business can grow.     LET US HELP YOU WRITE YOUR VISION &  BUILD YOUR DREAM TEAM   WHO SHOULD ATTEND THIS WORKSHOP? Any girlfriend who recognizes that she needs a plan, a process and people to help her build herbusiness and take it to the  next level of success.   WHO IS RIGHT FOR THIS WORKSHOP? New girlfriends in buisness| Experienced business owner building towards the next level Seasoned business owner launching new product or revenue  line or shifting businesses   WRITE YOUR VISION & BUILD YOUR BUSINESS WORKSHOP is unique because it is designed to recognize the feminine approach to how women build their businesses. It addresses the fact that women view their lives holistically and we will help you write your vision so that integrates both your  personal and your business life.   HERE'S WHAT YOU WILL NEED TO BRING: Your 2012 Business and Personal Goals, Declarations, Mission & Resolution Material for your 2012 Vision Board (Board, magazines, scissors, glue, etc.) If you are serious about winning in 2012, bring a winning attitude! A friend that can hold you accountable! COST: $20 TO REGISTER CLICK HERE  OR CALL (248) 956-0868

Article: What Is Love? The Four Elements of Love

I learned a long time ago, in order to be in love, one must understand love. Our relationship series presents Pierre F Steenberg, who provides an interesting insight into the Elements of Love. Enjoy! 

By Pierre F Steenberg Ph.D. DMin 

Philosophers have been struggling to find an adequate definition of love for thousands of years. Love is a complex subject. It is fluid and changes over time as a relationship ages. What is love to one person is not to another. Is love a feeling or an emotion? Is love a more cognitive concept; such as a choice?

What is the difference between hearing "I like you" and "I love you"? A few years ago I discovered an article* on the triangle of love. Sternberg argues that a love relationship consists of three elements, namely: intimacy, passion, and commitment. When a relationship is based on just one or two of these components the love relationship takes on a different character. A relationship based only on intimacy, for example, is no more than just liking a person.

Similarly, when a relationship is only based on passion the relationship is infatuation. When a relationship is only based on commitment we find empty love; the couple is just living together. There can also be combinations of two elements in a love relationship, such as, intimacy and passion resulting in romantic love.

Other possible combinations are between intimacy and commitment resulting in companionate love, and between commitment and passion resulting in fatuous love.

 What is very important is that most happy, healthy, and lasting relationships contain all three of these elements: intimacy, passion, and commitment. Sternberg calls such love consummate love. May I be so bold as to suggest that Sternberg's model lacks an element of love which I believe is as important as the other three. That element of love is relational safety. Relational safety has to do with how safe each partner feels in the relationship. This elements asks the following questions:

• Is it safe to tell you my secrets?
• Can I really open up my heart to you?
• Will you still love me if you know who I really am?
• Will you use my disclosure against me later on?
• Will you laugh at me or joke at my expense if I tell you what I really think?
• Is my heart safe in your hands?
• Will you keep my heart's secrets safe?

Without relational safety real emotional intimacy will not develop into a deep and rich experience. Marital love requires emotional intimacy, physical passion, commitment, and safety for it to flourish and last.

It may be helpful to assess your relationship along these four elements of love. Are there one or more elements of love which are not doing well in your relationship? Is your relationship balanced (regarding these elements)? Is there any element that you may need to work on? You may find it beneficial to:

• Regularly have a heart to heart talk with your spouse about these four elements of love
• Honestly inquire how committed you are
• Measure emotional intimacy by how often you talk and about what you talk
• Flirt, play, and build the passion between you
• Resolve to be a safe spouse

Relationships are all about how we relate. Do a lot of relating with your spouse this week.

Pierre F. Steenberg, Ph.D., D.Min. is a seminar presenter on marriage relationships.
http://www.designinghearts.com

* - Robert J. Sternberg

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Top Industry Experts at the Largest Divorce Event in the Midwest w/More Than 50Speakers & 8K Attendees via @thedivorceexpo

Top Industry Experts at the Largest Divorce Event in the Midwest with More Than 50 Speakers and 8,000 Attendees

DETROIT October 20, 2011 /Editor/ — The Divorce Expo (TDE), the nation’s newest consumer interest conference and expo, comes to Novi, on March 24-25 2012. The two-day event will bring together the top industry experts at the largest divorce event in the Midwest. TDE2012 will host over 50 speakers, 60 sessions across 8 subject tracks and more than 100 vendors and exhibitors.

The two-day Divorce Conference & Expo, from March 24-25 at the Suburban Collection Showplace in Novi, will explore topics such as How to Find the “right fit” Attorney, How to Tell the Children about Divorce, Dating Again, and Balancing Your Life . The event’s 8 conference tracks will focus on areas such as legal, financial, career transition, relationships, co-parenting, real estate, health,and personal care.

Confirmed keynote speakers include Christina McGhee, international Divorce Coach and parent educator,and author of ParentingApartBook, Dr. Terri Orbuch,  dubbed “The Love Doctor”, Lela Davidson, Author ofBlacklisted from the PTA,  other surprise guest.

“The Divorce Expo is the first major Divorce topic focused of its kind to hit the middle of the United States to support the vast amount of needs of the consumer considering, going through or post divorce or separation.” added Executive Producer Christine McQueen. “The conference will offer participants the opportunity to get up-to-date information from to experts presenting options, advice, or newly single moving forward solutions.”

The Divorce Expo is currently accepting vendor/exhibitor space reservation until full.

The Divorce Expo also will feature organized events and parties that will be held at or near the event venue.

About TDE

The Divorce Expo (TDE) is a new consumer event hosted by Split Partners, LLC promoting individual growth through education, interaction, and inspiration. More than 8,000 consumers enjoy the benefits of up to date relevant  information to support preparation or decisions that affect their current and future lifestyle.  All profits from TDE are reinvested into TDE’s charities, and future events.  Find TDE online at www.thedivorceexpo.com.

Media Contact:
Chris McQueen
TDE Show Management
            (734)495-3110      
cmcqueen@splitpartners.com

Some Holiday Jazz for You! w/@yancyy & Gail

click thru for details Happy Holidays from Gail, Yancyy and T. ROSE  We extend Joyous Holiday Wishes to You and Yours! Christmas is Love The first solo CD between this mother and daughter duet. A beautiful melodic version of holiday classics. Rejoice, Christmas with Yancyy The energy and passion created through his music is phenomenal, flowing with love, happiness, encouragement, inspiration and much more. Click on the album cover to connect with CDBaby.com where you can listen and make your purchase. Happy Holidays to everyone that we have been fortunate enough to work with and perform for in 2011.  We had a terrific year thanks to each of our jazz supporters, musicians, sponsors, media partners, producers and promoters.  Thank you for allowing us to join in and be a part of your network.  Although times are a bit challenging for everyone, out there in the midst of it all, there lies opportunities to grow; we are excited to continue our growth in 2012.  So to each and everyone of you, we wish you a very happy holiday season and a happy, safe and jazzy new year.  We look forward to seeing you on our musical journey!   Peace, Blessings and Prosperity,   Theresa Randleman, CEO T. ROSE Entertainment, LLC Artist Bookings/Management 517-410-6492

Article: Will I Get Married? How to Know If You'll Fall inWill I Get Married? How to Know If You'll Fall in Love (Or Stay Single Forever) Love (Or Stay Single Forever)

I think loneliness is a fear all of us face - myself included, but we're mostly all afraid to admit it (myself included - again).

I came to a decision a long time ago, I'm not going to look for love and I've been "ok" by myself.

Yet, this question often comes up and with the holidays hitting which has been deemed the most "depressing" days for single people, I thought to offer some solace and comfort in this department by presenting this article.

Will I Get Married? How to Know If You'll Fall in Love (Or Stay Single Forever)

By Angela Zoile

If you are sick of being single, fed up with failed relationships, and simply starting to get SCARED about your prospects for finding true love and marriage, this article was written with YOU in mind.

As a love intuitive and relationship advisor, one of the most common questions (and crisis's) I hear about is from women who are sick of being in bad relationships. Or sick of being single, and going on disappointing date, after disappointing date.

What I'm going to do below, is simply lay out a super simple strategy that ANYONE can use to discover true love, and find a partner you can marry, settle down with, and ultimately find true happiness. (because I really believe that is our ultimate destiny, and what we are all alive to achieve)

Here is exactly what you need to do to active your own "inner intuitive" and find the love of your life.

What to do FIRST:

Visualize your perfect partner. Who is he? What does he look like? What does he do? How does he treat you? How do you interact, and what does your relationship look and feel like? Get into an intuitive space where you actually see, sense and FEEL who it is that you truly are looking for...and describe, detail and document everything you see.

What to do NEXT:

Look at the relationships you've had over the last 5 years with an unflinching eye. Be honest. Be truthful, and compare the perfect partner you've visualized above, with the kind of men you've been dating. Do they match up, or is there a huge disconnect? Usually, pretty much without fail, there is a HUGE disparity between who we want to meet on a gut, intuitive, spiritual level.....and the kind of people we actually HAVE been meeting instead. And more often than not, this simple realization can be the catalyst for an amazing opening where the "Universe" and your own awareness come together to make GREAT things happen going forward!

What to do last:

Quite simply, align your intentions, and your energies with your intuition. Move from a head based dating strategy to a HEART based approach. I believe that each of us is born with a soulmate, a perfect partner for life...and our challenge is only to be open enough, and aware enough to acknowledge they are out there.
Once you do some simple visualization and intuition exercises like above, it's amazing how quickly you'll find yourself meeting the kind of man you truly crave, and find that ONE relationship that lasts a lifetime to boot. (especially if you are brave enough to ask the universe for help!)

Does he REALLY Love Me? Find Out HERE!

(The #1 intuitive way of finding out if he's going to love you forever ... or is he as GOOD as gone!) Don't be the last to know!

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Angela_Zoile

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Article: TIME For Love

I've learned a lot about relationships but the most important thing I've learned is that relationships take time and need time.


In our busy life - and it gets busier by the second of every day - we start to put current relationships on the back burner as an under appreciation of them, or don't find the importance in a new relationship and just expect the person to "understand" our busyness.


In truth, we're hurting and damaging the relationships because we didn't follow the most simple rule of a relationship - Make Time For Love.

Steve Wickham puts a new twist on the word and shows how making "time" can mean so much more!

TIME For Love by Steve Wickham

THE PURPOSE OF LIFE is to learn how to love, and life is the learning ground toward that end. Time is the biggest barrier to love. Somehow we must reinvent our perception of time in order that we would endear ourselves to love.

We need T.I.M.E. for love.

TENDERNESS is the ideal input to love, whether it's romantic, compassionate, friendly, or passionate love. It melts empty love, breaking the ice, enabling the early vestiges of intimacy. Another name for tenderness is gentleness or meekness, and certainly patience - these all abide blissfully in time.
People who pose no threat to the other person find there is no barrier to trust.

INTIMACY is a transaction between two, and trust is the product. Little do we realise, tenderness finds us there. The wonderful thing about intimacy is the comfort we enjoy as we share time with another person, in mateship. There are no truly awkward silences, no fear of eye contact; no secrets.
God made us for these experiences. In all our relationships we should aim for intimacy, which is a bilateral honest transparency without the semblance of fear for being ourselves.

MOMENTUM is created and forward the journey continues toward varieties of consummate love, which can be enjoyed in any relationship.

If the goal of our lives is to learn how to love, surely we want to take our intimacy with the other person onto the track of momentum where rapport will become a sustaining event. (Because life is ever-changing, we are advantaged in viewing life as an elongated series of events.)

Maintaining momentum is not always an easy thing to do. Circumstances and a lack of reciprocation have a lot to say. But as we invest time, strangely the circumstances move more in our favour.

Time is the currency of relational commitment sustaining our momentum.

ETERNITY is where love is destined. The Bible tells us that faith, hope, and love will endure forever, and that the greatest of these is love (1 Corinthians 13:13).

The raw truth is, as we stroke the momentum in our relationships we're creating a raft of blessing that we'll later redeem in eternity. God loves a lover and their practice of love will continue on and on.

***

Time is the secret. Many wives and children may complain, within themselves and possibly with each other, that their husbands and fathers don't spend enough time with them. Relationships cannot be nurtured on the T.I.M.E. process unless the motive is right, and when the motive is right, time is no longer the issue.

***

With tenderness we love, and intimacy is therefore nurtured. This creates momentum, and that forward motion, whilst love is present, is taking our love all the way to eternity.

© 2011 S. J. Wickham.

Steve Wickham is a Registered Safety Practitioner (BSc, FSIA, RSP [Australia]) and a qualified, unordained Christian minister (GradDipBib&Min). His blogs are at: http://epitemnein-epitomic.blogspot.com/ and http://inspiringbetterlife.blogspot.com/

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Health & Wellness : Ideas To Treat Adult Acne via @ShalondaGordon

click thru for details   Like What You See?? Want to Work with Me Directly??   ***CLICK HERE*** Let's Connect on Twitter   ***Tweet Me***   CONQUER THE INTERNET!   And Save Yourself Time Energy and Money   S.Y.S.T.E.M

Article: I Am Single and Lonely

Eden Julia Gibsons
If you feel you are 'single and lonely' these steps will get you out of this rut. A lot of people write this to me ...

Being single does not mean you need to feel lonely, and being in a relationship does not necessarily rule out loneliness. Let's explore why and see how we can find a solution to this emotional pain.

First of all, yes, in an ideal world we would all be in a fantastic relationship, surrounded by a few true friends and completely fulfilled in our own professional life (whatever form that may take). The reality is very different; believe it or not, in my experience I have noticed that very few people are truly fulfilled and, if they are, such fulfillment comes from within: some of the happiest people I have found had nothing, no close family even, but essentially were completely at peace with who they were and their path in life.

OK, let's clarify this. In order to be successful in your personal life and achieve happiness, and also in order to get out of the 'single and lonely' emotional trap, it's essential to do the following:

1 - Find out who you are. Think of the person you want to be and what you would be if you had the choice to be anything. Would you be working with animals? Would you be a world traveler? Would you work 9 to 5 or be self-employed? What is your strongest passion in life (food, travel, music, the arts, movies, books, writing, the Internet, animals, nature, swimming, night clubs... etc?). Find out what really gives you happiness and, if you're too much in pain to talk about 'happiness', which activity or interest makes you feel at least 'OK'? This is for 2 reasons: a) because it helps you in your own inner peace, an essential quality for anybody who is serious about finding true love and b) it establishes your true identity, essential to find others who are also 'true' about themselves and their love.

2 - Stop lying to yourself and others. Don't fake your age, don't fake your dreams and your expectations; don't fake your successes. Just be whoever you are and learn to be happy with that. You'll be surprised to find that people prefer honesty one thousand times over anything else; if you are true to yourself in a way that conveys a healthy dose of self-esteem you will end up attracting equally emotionally healthy individuals. It's the only way to make sure you don't continue to suffer in love. You may scare off some 'gold-diggers' or some 'superficial, light-heads', but who wants to share one's life with people like that anyway?

3 - Stop trying to follow 'societal' parameters. So what if everybody seems to have a family, 2 kids and one dog? You are unique and you need to find what will be that makes you really happy. I need you to understand an essential point, which may be hard to accept but is so important to grasp: if you don't have that 'square' life, it probably means that, somewhere inside of you, you don't really want it, for whatever reasons. Don't feel bad about it! If more people followed their own individual dreams, there would be far fewer people who on anti-depressants! So, you need to find out why and find out who you really are and what you really want from life (which takes us back to point 1).

4 - Learn to be happy with yourself. This may sound like a cliché but, in brief, if you don't like your own company, how do you seriously expect others to like it? Only those who appreciate themselves can truly attract others who will also appreciate them.

5 - Take care of yourself. Don't treat yourself badly, don't always go for the cheapest, most horrid food just to save a dollar, don't buy the worst rag in the market all the time... Treat yourself once in a while, be your own best friend. I had to learn this myself: I started by buying good quality organic food (after all, I need to take care of my body, right?), then I started walking in the sun (I live in a cold-climate city) and, whenever possible, walking on the beach not to 'look for' potential mates but to soak up the ocean, look up the beautiful sky, breath better air. Then occasionally I would 'take myself out' to a fancy place or anywhere I really wanted to be, rather than waiting to go with my 'soul mate'. Soon I was beginning to enjoy life and that began to show in my body and in my overall 'attitude', which, in turn, turned me into a much more attractive person to any potential mate.

More, detailed steps and help is on the page WHY STILL SINGLE
Moreover, find out how make someone fall in love with you by reading MAKE THEM FALL IN LOVE.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Eden_Julia_Gibsons

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