ARTICLE: Women's Guide on How to Handle and Deal With a Mama's Boy

By Jay Nelson Yang 

 

When people are referring to the term mama's boy, they are usually referring to its negative side. Below is a list of traits and qualities of a mama's boy:

1. He is a grown-up man who is attached to his mother in an excessive manner.
2. He has an extremely close relationship with his mother.
3. He still lives with his mother after the age of 35, and he has never moved out in the past.
4. He takes care of everything for his mother.
5. He does not live with his mother, but he must speak to her on the phone every single night before he goes to bed.
6. He asks his mother for her advice on everything, and he always act accordingly to her suggestion.
7. He would drop any task he was working on and take care of his mother's needs.

In fact, most men should have some of the traits described as above because a man's mother is perhaps the only person in his life that treats him with truly unconditional love. There is a famous saying stating that you can tell a lot about how a man will treat his wife by the way he treats his mother. Assuming it is true, that being a mama's boy is actually a wonderful thing, because a mama's boy will treat his wife the way he treats his mother. However, in order for a relationship or marriage with a mama's boy to work well, the following conditions must be met:

1. He works out a balance between the time he spends with his wife and his mother.
2. When there is an argument between his mother and his wife, he will either remain neutral, or he will go up against his mother to support his wife.
3. He does not ditch his wife whenever his mother asks him to run some unimportant errands.
4. He does not always follow his mother's suggestion, he will also discusses with his wife.
5. He does not tell his mother about his issues from his relationship or marriage.
6. His mother likes you, you and his mother do get along.
7. His families like you, you and his family members do get along.

Being a mama's boy does not necessarily mean he is emotionally dependent on his mother. A man could be a mama's boy and a responsible husband at the same time. Being in a relationship or marriage is never easy, when dealing with such issue, the husband needs to be able to strike a perfect balance of attention and support to both of his wife and mother. If dating a mama's boy means you have to compete and battle with his mother for his love, attention and time; it can be extremely exhausting and frustrating.

As a common scenario, the mother of a mama's boy is often picky, demanding and bitter towards her son's girlfriend or her daughter-in-law. The mother often think she is not good enough for her son, and becomes jealous of her. Especially if her son tends to support his wife during arguments. There is not much that the wife can do about his mother's perceptions towards her; she can only try her best to win her love. If his mother continues and insists to ignore her efforts to cultivate and form a better in-laws relationship, there is a method that you can try to win her heart. You need to let you man know that you do like his mother by telling him wonderful things about his mother. Why? Because he might pass your genuine and sincere message to his mother. Your words coming out of his mouth can work magic on his mother! She might change her perceptions towards you because of the positive things you have said about her!

You should never force your man to choose a side between you and his mother. Most men do not want to be forced to make such decision. As an intelligent and wise woman, you have to educate your man to act as a communication bridge between you and his mother. Last but not the least, do not forget to remind your man how much you love him, and how much you appreciate his understanding and efforts to act as a bridge and lubrication between you and his mother to avoid conflicts!

The importance of having your man's mother to like you will be further discussed in Jay's article "The Importance of Having Your Boyfriend's Mother and Other Family Members to Like You". Also check out the article "Guide on How to Impress Your Man's Parents and What to Do If They Don't like You" for great and effective tips on how to impress his parents!

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