FWD: Did you think of this?

Good afternoon people.....Of course I must have nothing better to do than come up with angles on this Stimulus nightmare but yet I have another one to throw at you....hopefully this doesn't apply but if you know someone (and we all do) pass this along.....

As you know in order to get this stimulus payment you have to file.....now here is something that you didn't realize when filing....Back in the day up to now, welfare mothers have been selling their kids to family memebers and others in hopes to get a little bit more during the tax season since they can't file or claim their own kids.....I heard someone say that she sold three of her kids for 750.00 a piece.....good hustle right?? Well you and the person who you brought these kids from may be in for a rude awakening.....People on assistance are also getting these stimulus monies as well so that means what.....They have to put down EVERYONE in order to get the dependent portion!!!!! Do you think they thought about you when they entered those precious babies to get that money??? Did you think to remind them not to file those children because you did??? GOTCHA!!! Now the IRS has all the information they need to go back and match those SS#'s with these children and see how many of them come up against the wrong parent.....HMMMM didn't think that far did you??? So when you cash that Stimulus Check just think about this for a minute, and if it's not you then go to the person that you know is doing this and put this theory to them and see what they come up with.....can you spell F R A U D ??????

Just something I was thinking about in trying to figure the true meaning of these checks.....Any comments???


MoneyPenny Solutions 804-244-6482
"if 007 couldn't do it without me, should you?"

FWD: A Little Rub-a-Dub in Your Tub

by Dr. Laura Berman

Sex in the shower or bathtub can put a little fun back in your sex life. You're slippery, you're silly, and opportunities for playful petting abound. You can draw a bubble bath for two, or steam up a hot shower with your sweetie. The warm water delivers total relaxation for you and your partner, and aromatic soaps and oils work wonders on your skin and your mood.

READ MORE AT:
http://www.drlauraberman.com/public/passionfiles/passionfiles.aspx?issueid=9264

Rebuilding your Confidence after Divorce

by LaShon Williams, Author of Moving On! Living Life to the Fullest After Divorce. http://www.divorcerecoverytoday.com/

Finally it’s over! You’ve signed on the dotted line of your divorce decree and now what? Miraculously are you supposed to feel better? Stronger? More powerful? Not hardly. Yet this can be the expectation of those around you; family, friends, co-workers. Maybe you even expect it of yourself. Before the divorce you had something to point to for your low self-esteem and lack of confidence but now that it is over you’re forced to face how you feel about yourself, life and the world around you. As women we’ve always been taught to put others first. That’s what a good mother, wife, daughter does. I want you to throw that out the door. It’s time to put you first.

Building or regaining your confidence after a divorce is no different than building and regaining your confidence after any blow to it in life. Taking the necessary steps to pick up the pieces of your life and begin to rebuild it and move forward lies in your sphere of influence. Basically, it’s up to you. You’ve got to find something that makes you feel good about you and do it. The key is how do you do it and how do you get there?

There are six basic stages to recovery after divorce. Denial, Anger, Depression, Loneliness, Acceptance and Forgiveness.

Each of these stages is normal and crucial to the healing process. Skipping one or all of them can possibly delay your transition after the divorce. After the stages come the steps to recovery. This is where you begin to build your confidence, one step at a time. There are eight key phrases I like for you to focus on as you begin the journey on the road to rebuilding your life. The Mind, Let it Go, Refocus, Reinvent yourself, Empower yourself, Faith, Courage, and Fresh Start.

The Mind: The battle starts in the mind. Your actions only follow your thoughts. You’ve got to change the way you think if you want to see a change in your life. Your mind is your most powerful weapon, and you have to use it to see yourself happy and content.

Let it Go: Yes, this can be harder than it seems but it’s doable none the less. The bottom line is you can’t change the past no matter how long and hard you try or how tightly you hold unto it. The past is done. What builds your confidence is what gives you control and the present is where your control is. Cut the cord. Forget what lies behind and move forward to what lies ahead. Use the past to push you on into the present. So when you think of the future, your possibilities are endless.

Refocus: What would you say was the best day of your life? Why was that day so special? What were you doing? Think about that day; how you felt inside and out. Landmark that moment in your thought process and use it to refocus. Everyday if necessary use that special moment and you will open yourself to many others.

Reinvent yourself: Through this whole experience you’ve probably learned more about yourself than you’ve ever imaged possible. Life’s challenges, changes and difficulties brings' growth and a depth of self awareness that may not have been evident before. Reinvent the possibilities of what you can do and become now that you’ve made the discovery.

Empower yourself: Empowerment builds confidence and self-esteem. Don’t wait for a permission from someone else or a pat on the back to start using your power. Do something that makes you feel empowered. You are responsible for your own choices and the power is in the choices you make.

Faith: Knowing that you aren’t alone on this new journey of life builds our confidence in our ability to succeed. There is a God that in whom you can put your trust in and draw strength from. Knowing that if you fail he is there to pick you back up and help you on your way.

Courage: Webster defines courage as “the attitude of facing and dealing with anything recognized as dangerous, difficult, or painful, instead of withdrawing from it.” Maybe you never saw yourself as a courageous person. There’s nothing more courageous than what you’ve been through thus far. This proves you have what it takes to make it through.

Make a Fresh Start: Now it’s time to find your purpose and move forward in it. Don’t know exactly what that is right now? That’s okay. Start doing what interests you, what makes you smile. Gives you peace. What makes you happy? You alone are responsible for your happiness. When you feel good about you it illuminates and radiates from you like a magnet, drawing others to you. And even in this you have to be cautious. Because you are varnable you have to be careful of whom you let into your inner circle. Build positive productive relationships. What I mean by that is surround yourself with people who build you up and feed into your purpose in life. This will help to build your self confidence.

“I believe life is nothing more than a book of which all of us write pages and chapters every day.” Your marriage and divorce is the end of one chapter, not the book. You have the power to direct how the next chapter will be written. Start writing.

LaShon William's book, Moving On! is available on B&N or Amazon.com or on her website at: http://divorcerecoverytoday.com/

Why Men Don't Talk

by David Zinczenko

from: http://health.yahoo.com/experts/menlovesex/73762/why-men-dont-talk/

As the editor of the biggest men's magazine in the world, I am privy to something many women rarely hear - straightforward, uninhibited guy talk.

Don't be so shocked - guys do actually talk, and not just about Tom Brady's quarterback rating. Most women think their man is the strong, silent type (or maybe the oblivious, silent type), and they wonder why he doesn't share his feelings.

But here's the truth: Men do want to open up, about their hopes, their fears, and their passions. Yet put him alone in a room with you, and he often turns into a Sphinx. Why can't he take his eyes off the TV and talk about the state of the relationship, or the finances, or, heck, the backyard landscaping? Why in the world can't he just summarize his day for 10 minutes?

In fact, one in five women say that they typically fight about a man's lack of verbal interaction, and 30 percent of men say their failure to communicate is the source of major conflict in the relationship. Why is it this way?

Here's one answer: Because even men who have feelings to share don't always feel comfortable sharing them with their partner. These are some of the reasons why some men often prefer to zip it, rather than delivering the goods:

Guys Are A Little Intimidated
No question, women are expert communicators. They throw questions like Oprah after her third cup of coffee; they're connecting on all cylinders. And like the divine Ms. W, women bring a lot of skill to their game: A special awareness of the people-scape around them, a keen set of emotions keyed to that awareness, and a rich vocabulary they use to talk about anything at anytime.

And they're always practicing their Q&A skills on their many friends, so they're in top talk mode all the time. Men know this. And they also know that more than one-third of women say that men simply can't relate and don't understand women. The result: Men are afraid of saying too much, because saying the wrong thing may get them into more trouble than Lindsay Lohan as a designated driver.

Guys Need To Decompress
Woman's view: When a man walks in the door, he ought to cough up some of the details about his day. After all, it's been 10 hours since they've communicated, not counting the two IMs, three voice mails, and one actual mid-day conversation.

Man's view: Can I please make a beeline to the bathroom? When men reach home, it's like those ultra-marathoners staggering across the finish line in Death Valley. The last thing they want to do is discuss how bright the sunlight was, and how scarce the water stops were.

Further up on his want-to-do list after arriving home: 14 percent of men want to check email, 12 percent are looking for a little private time in the bathroom, and 10 percent simply want to eat dinner. The common theme here: After they've spent a day serving the needs of others, they want to take care of themselves a little.

So when a man is hit with a demand for conversation so closely after returning from the stressful environment of work, he has only one gear left to shift into, and sometimes it's reverse. He's retreat, retreat, retreat.

Guys Are More Comfortable With Actions Than Feelings
Rather than talking about how he "feels," often a man would rather express his love by changing her oil, or bringing home a flower, or relinquishing control of the remote.

And when men do talk, they'd prefer to talk about actions rather than emotions. For instance, a lot of guys would choose to express their long-range faith in a relationship by talking about next summer's vacation plans, not by launching into a soliloquy about undying love.

Both conversations can mean the same thing (that he plans on sticking around); he just prefers to say it with plane tickets, rather than poetry. It's one of the reasons men are more comfortable talking at work (the practical universe) than they are at home (the castle that emotion built). But you can bring out his great communicator by making him feel more like he's operating in work mode, even when the topic at hand is your love life. Here's an incredible article, "The Home Office," that shows how he can use his best office skills for great success at home.

Guys Don't Want To Be Put On The Spot
When men talk less and women want more, the scenario can escalate. Like when the bad cop is pummeling the reluctant witness, more silence equals more questions. A full 65 percent of men we surveyed recently told us they don't want their partners to ask them more questions about themselves.

It's clear that some men are just plain tired of feeling like they're on the witness stand. They're not necessarily hiding anything; many guys simply prefer not to have to relate confusing feelings that they may not even understand themselves.

An age-old tactic can make things better: Back off a little, give him room to operate in a conversation, and he's more likely to open up. To find out if his lack of communication really does mean that your relationship needs a tune up, take this quick quiz.

Have other insights and advice? Please share them here.

SORMAG Detroit Winner!!!

I want to thank all the fans who voted for me and helped me get to this recognition!!
http://sormag.blogspot.com/ to read the rest of the winners for this year.

How to Use your Hand for your Man’s Pleasure

Yeah, I know I'm missed although I listening to the comments from the last post and people are upset that I'm some kind of mother to call my disobedient daughter a bytch. Umm, well, that's your opinion, but when you're a single mother venting is so needed and I never called it to her face. Actually I've never cussed at my daughter at all and she may or may not read my blog. Her friends may even visit, hell, my boss at work might stop by, but I didn't start this blog to really care about what the readers thought about what I said in my head. I started it to help me.

Not beating her within an inch of her life because she wants to wear the dress in my house. Venting for me might be whatever, but it's going to happen and what my readers think is commended and valued, but I take the good and the bad with it all and then do what I want to do.

So I know you dind't stop by to hear me talk about my daughter. Hell you could read the last post from that one. So let's get to the title of the blog.

HOW TO USE YOUR HAND FOR YOUR MAN'S PLEASURE.

OMG! In my need to gather inforation around the Internet for your viewing pleasure and to educate us on intimacy, sex and all that other stuff in regards to loving a black woman, I bet you're wondering what does pleasuring a man have to do with pleasuring a black woman when we're the queens o it all.

Oh yes, i'm full of myself about now. LOL.

And modest too...

So I'm in my wordpress blog (which I know is a bad word on blogger, LOL) and I'm occassionally glancing at the hot topics.

This patricia lady blog comes to my attention only because of the title so I start to read and I thought I'd share it with you too.

Thought it would perk you up a bit too because that last post was truly depressing and since nothing exciting is happening with me about now, I need to get my mind going.

Although I think on my next personal post I'll be talking about a beau and a boyfriend...

Anyhoo....

Most of the times we always rely on our hands to do the job, so why not use it to give our man pleasure. I have collected some techniques on how we could actually hike a man’s mojo by simply touching him. Here are some the techniques you can use.

Now to find out more, read more at Patricia's blog. I'm serious. Read it, because it has some really good tips. I was impressed and refreshed.

http://patriciaholdenmd.wordpress.com/2008/04/11/how-to-use-your-hand-for-your-mans-pleasure/

And for some reason seeing the word aural organ is just erotic as you read it even though she's talking about what you're supposed to do with a man.

Is it just me, or do you (I'm talking to women) get pleasure out of turning a man on. I think we miss that a lot when we're making love (women do) I think we miss see that twinkle in his eyes and the curiousity as he watches what you're doing tyring to make sense of what you're doing to him and wondering how long you're going to take or how long he's going to let you play with him.

And he'll tremble and fight and if you listen real closely, (if you're touching and teasing him just right) he'll make this really high pitch and then deep groaning noise. It's a beautiful sound coming from a man.

This reminded me of my book that I wrote over on Amazon called: So You'd Like To... Give a Great Massage to Your Woman except it was a reversal on a man instead of a woman.

Patricia's blog was really fun to go through though. Although I think she's a hypocondriac with her Tummy Ache and incurable disease posts.

She had this thing before getting hitched and also how to marry a millionaire .

The best one though was how to get new people in your life. I liked that one a lot. And you should check it out too. Especially those friends of mine who are asking me "how do I meet intelligent men." Try Patricia's ideas and I bet your butt would find someone who ain't watching MTV or playing a gameboy at 7pm at night. (You know who I'm talking to).

I've added her to my wordpress blog roll cause she's really quite interesting.

Okay... back to life...

Oh yeah, my daughter's GPA bounced up higher and she's realizing how stupid her friends really are.
So even if I called her online and you think i'm a bad mommy for it, I'm doing pretty good offline so I gotta be doing something right. (licking tongue out.) So there!


another vent from how to love a black woman blogger...

It's like Mixing oil and water: Mommyhood and being a writer

One of my pet peeves I have as a mother is for someone to talk to me about my child's behavior, hence one of our house rules is that : if you don't do it in front of mommy don't do it at all.

Can't be both and yesterday I arrived home from my trip ready to post to my live story (His Substitute Wife... My Sister) and found out I had to go to parent/teacher conference earlier than expected.

Each child had received a glowing GPA from last card marking (all above 3.5), but the comments from each teacher for my oldest daughter bothered me so I said, phuck it, I'll go.

Now Mag is just absolutely 'bout the smartest thing since Einstein in my book. She's always
thinking quietly and she soaks up things like a sponge.

And her teachers agreed on it as well.

But her attitude and socializing is causing havoc with the teachers. One was even reluctant to tell me because she felt that Maggie could easily be valedictorian if it wasn't for that.

I was livid. I had to sit through an hour and a half of others telling me that my daughter was a snobbish, punk bytch that couldn't keep her butt in her seat because socializing was so much important than learning.

A couple of years ago my son had a socializing problem and this little shyte had the nerve to make fun of her brother saying to him, "Zech that's pretty stupid to let your friends get you in trouble."

Now this bytch was making my life miserable with the same crap. I'm glad she wasn't there because I would have slapped her to first grade (she's currently in sixth.)

Her GPA had dropped from a 3.6 to a 3.1! You might say that's still good, but it dropped not because she was stupid in books. She was stupid for following friends and trying to stupe to their 2.6 GPA. (That's the highest GPA of all the friends she hangs around with, which i found from the homeroom teacher.).

When i got home, I had my son remove her TV and I took her cell phone and then I not only showed her a down south barn yard party (as my father used to call it) I had her do the same thing I did to my son.

I may sound cruel and I feel awful that I have to punish her so much, but when she had no real explaination as to why she allowed her friends to influence her education.

Now if she had really said being popular and having these kinds of friends was great for her self esteem, we probably would have had a long talk about it all, but this chit couldn't come up with one excuse as to why she blatantly disobeyed the teachers, spoke slang outlandishly during a oratory just to get giggles out of the popular crowd, and didn't turn in her weekly assignments or brought her books home from school.

She's mad at me now, but I know in the long run, she'll thank me for my perserverance in making sure she keeps a GPA that can get her to her goals in life.

I hope and pray it does because I'm tired.

fwd: 4 Intimacy Boosters

by David Zinczenko


Even if you don't follow sports news, you know that today's headlines are less about wins and losses than they are about steroid suspicions, doping scandals, and finger-pointing among former teammates and coaching partners.

It's playground stuff on the highest levels of sport - guys (and yes, Marion Jones, too) seizing on every opportunity to enhance their performance with supplements and drugs. Makes me wonder: Why do we seek all these advantages in hitting a ball or running a race, and ignore the sneaky (but legal!) advantages that we could gain in the most important game most of us play - the game of love and romance?

So to change the subject from those sports cheaters a bit, I'm proposing healthy ways you can jump-start your hormones, boost your own libido-arousing brain chemicals, and give your whole relationship an extra boost of all-natural adrenaline. Here are four ways to set your own love and lust records (Congressional inquiry not included):

Shot 1: They Add Adventure to their Romance

Research shows that adventurous men and women have more testosterone (good for libido). You can amp up the intensity of your relationship by amping up the intensity of your activities.
That doesn't mean that you necessarily need to do something really risky, like skydive or punch out a paparazzi. But it does mean that adding a little element of risk to your typical Saturday to-do list will make you - and your relationship - feel a little more alive than usual.
Take a rock-climbing class, or book a white-water rafting trip. Not up for that? Riding a roller coaster will give you a quick shot, as will seeing a scary movie.

Shot 2: They Cyber Flirt when They're Apart

One of the big complaints I hear from men and women about what goes wrong in a relationship is that it can feel staler than yesterday's bagel. After the novelty has worn off and the commitment has solidified, the closest thing anyone will hear to flirting is "can you please grab me a diet soda from the fridge?"
Try this: If you haven't already, set up instant-messaging accounts. Then, if you have a laptop and a desktop, initiate a convo while your partner's in one room and you're in another. Let sexual tension mount and innuendos fly, and you're off and running.
Bonus: In this scenario, you're only a room away. Or better still: You can conduct this dirty dialogue when he's in his workplace, and she's in hers, which means tonight's reunion will be good for more than just a distracted peck on the cheek.

Shot 3: They Show up on Each Others' Turf

It's good for relationships when each party has his or her own interests. She goes to yoga three days a week; he plays Ultimate Frisbee on Sunday afternoons. Space is good.
But more than you do now, make a point to watch, participate in, or ask about each other's outside activities. She'll be thrilled that he's risking his hamstrings (and dignity) to experience what downward dog is all about; he'll be ego-stroked when she's sitting on the sidelines as he hits disc paydirt. Independence is good, interdependence is better.

Shot 4: They Take a Walk on the Wild Side

Routine is great when it comes to some things (like car maintenance), but routine can also be the drizzle on the tinder of a hot relationship. So, here's what you do: Identify one part of your relationship where you feel like you're in a rut, and find a way to break that routine. This will help you overcome the obstacles to sex that everyone faces.

It doesn't have to be a major overhaul, just subtle changes that send the message to your partner that you're going to keep the surprises coming. If Sunday is chores day, plan brunch out with a group of friends, instead-but make sure you order wisely each and every time (go ahead, have the Bloody Mary).

If you haven't had sex on a Monday since the Bangles were popular, hit the sack instead of watching the State of the Union Address on January 28th. (Big sacrifice, I know; just do it for of the state of your union!) If you resolve to change things up in 2008, you'll fire things up as well. Have other ideas? Please share them with the rest of us here.
- - - - - - - - - - - - -

Want more from David? Subscribe to Men's Health with this special holiday offer: 50% off the cover price.
You can also check out "Men, Love & Sex: The Complete User's Guide for Women" and "Eat This Not That" on Yahoo! Shopping.

fwd: Don’t Be Afraid To Be In Love

Posted by nick

On my recent breakup, being only human, I had moments of saying to myself, “never again”. Had I been setting myself up to be afraid to fall in love? I don’t think so, but for others, this is a reality. That they cannot fall in love, because they are afraid.

As with all things that are good, beautiful, and great, sometimes we just need to let go of our fears. The gift of love, the gift of being in a relationship with someone you care about, and hopefully someone you fall in love with, is enough for me to hope, and hold on to that hope until that day comes, when I find the right person for me

Read More: http://6doi.net/lifestyle/dont-be-afraid-to-be-in-love.html

FWD: How to Keep Him Or Her...

this is forwarded from a facebook group called:
The Answers for Men and Women about Love, Relationships, and Self Motives

1. Be yourself. ( Do not present a false image to people.)

2. Trust your on judgement of who you chose to be with. (Your decision can make or break it.)

3. Kiss, kiss, kiss, and keep kissing. ( It's face to face talk)

4. Speak. Talk. Conversate. ( Listen and give your TRUTHFUL Opinion about all.)

5. Wake them up with some love making. (Slowly because you don't want to get knock out.)

6. Put the Cell phone Down and Pick up, Push button, seacrh areas, and etc. with them. Carry them around with you instead of speaking threw a machine.

7. STOP COMPLAINING. Work on the SOLUTIONS AND DECREASE ON THE PROBLEM CIRCLES.


Conclusion: Any Woman can get a "man" though it sure seems like we can't keep one. Or maybe we keep grabbing anything instead of Something That has Realness in it.

Love Ya'll, Ms. Taylor & Mr. Pride

How To Eat....

the Crown Prince of Erotica talks in detail of the Art of Pleasuring a woman orally...

OmG!!

Okay, I have read from freaky posts and all, but this one takes the cake.

Rory Sheriff blew the funk off me this morning with his detail description of something men think they know how to do but don't.

Standing wet ovation Mr. Erotic!!

To Read this post, you have to go on myspace and please make sure you let him know i sent you, LOL and let him know how much you enjoyed it too.

http://blog.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.view&friendID=35889945&blogID=330085615

Men take notes... Women thank this man for preaching.

Even if you just say Amen that's good enough

Amen.. Amen... HALLELEIUHAH

READ HERE

Why Men Don't Talk

By David Zinczenko

As the editor of the biggest men's magazine in the world, I am privy to something many women rarely hear - straightforward, uninhibited guy talk.

Don't be so shocked - guys do actually talk, and not just about Tom Brady's quarterback rating. Most women think their man is the strong, silent type (or maybe the oblivious, silent type), and they wonder why he doesn't share his feelings.

But here's the truth: Men do want to open up, about their hopes, their fears, and their passions. Yet put him alone in a room with you, and he often turns into a Sphinx. Why can't he take his eyes off the TV and talk about the state of the relationship, or the finances, or, heck, the backyard landscaping? Why in the world can't he just summarize his day for 10 minutes?

In fact, one in five women say that they typically fight about a man's lack of verbal interaction, and 30 percent of men say their failure to communicate is the source of major conflict in the relationship. Why is it this way?

Here's one answer: Because even men who have feelings to share don't always feel comfortable sharing them with their partner. These are some of the reasons why some men often prefer to zip it, rather than delivering the goods:

Guys Are A Little Intimidated
No question, women are expert communicators. They throw questions like Oprah after her third cup of coffee; they're connecting on all cylinders. And like the divine Ms. W, women bring a lot of skill to their game: A special awareness of the people-scape around them, a keen set of emotions keyed to that awareness, and a rich vocabulary they use to talk about anything at anytime.

And they're always practicing their Q&A skills on their many friends, so they're in top talk mode all the time. Men know this. And they also know that more than one-third of women say that men simply can't relate and don't understand women. The result: Men are afraid of saying too much, because saying the wrong thing may get them into more trouble than Lindsay Lohan as a designated driver.

Guys Need To Decompress
Woman's view: When a man walks in the door, he ought to cough up some of the details about his day. After all, it's been 10 hours since they've communicated, not counting the two IMs, three voice mails, and one actual mid-day conversation.

Man's view: Can I please make a beeline to the bathroom? When men reach home, it's like those ultra-marathoners staggering across the finish line in Death Valley. The last thing they want to do is discuss how bright the sunlight was, and how scarce the water stops were.

Further up on his want-to-do list after arriving home: 14 percent of men want to check email, 12 percent are looking for a little private time in the bathroom, and 10 percent simply want to eat dinner. The common theme here: After they've spent a day serving the needs of others, they want to take care of themselves a little.

So when a man is hit with a demand for conversation so closely after returning from the stressful environment of work, he has only one gear left to shift into, and sometimes it's reverse. He's retreat, retreat, retreat.

Guys Are More Comfortable With Actions Than Feelings
Rather than talking about how he "feels," often a man would rather express his love by changing her oil, or bringing home a flower, or relinquishing control of the remote.

And when men do talk, they'd prefer to talk about actions rather than emotions. For instance, a lot of guys would choose to express their long-range faith in a relationship by talking about next summer's vacation plans, not by launching into a soliloquy about undying love.

Both conversations can mean the same thing (that he plans on sticking around); he just prefers to say it with plane tickets, rather than poetry. It's one of the reasons men are more comfortable talking at work (the practical universe) than they are at home (the castle that emotion built). But you can bring out his great communicator by making him feel more like he's operating in work mode, even when the topic at hand is your love life. Here's an incredible article, "The Home Office," that shows how he can use his best office skills for great success at home.

Guys Don't Want To Be Put On The Spot
When men talk less and women want more, the scenario can escalate. Like when the bad cop is pummeling the reluctant witness, more silence equals more questions. A full 65 percent of men we surveyed recently told us they don't want their partners to ask them more questions about themselves.

It's clear that some men are just plain tired of feeling like they're on the witness stand. They're not necessarily hiding anything; many guys simply prefer not to have to relate confusing feelings that they may not even understand themselves.

An age-old tactic can make things better: Back off a little, give him room to operate in a conversation, and he's more likely to open up. To find out if his lack of communication really does mean that your relationship needs a tune up, take this quick quiz.

Have other insights and advice? Please share them here.
- - - - - - - - - - - - -

Want more from David? Subscribe to Men's Health with this special holiday offer: 50% off the cover price.
You can also chheck out "Men, Love & Sex: The Complete User's Guide for Women" and "Eat This Not That" on Yahoo! Shopping.

GOD DON'T MAKE NO JUNK

A month ago I had a guest author who posted :12 THINGS THAT MEN REALLY WISH THAT WE KNEW AND FULLY UNDERSTOOD.

I'm still getting comments from that blog to this day and a couple of days ago an anonymous reader commented this:

Anonymous said...
I don't have a problem with any of the things men wished women knew, but I do have a question. What if you are unattractive and cannot be a good looking woman on his arm? Is it time to look into plastic surgery?

My response:
Then you (or the woman in question) need to look inside of yourself.

My momma told me a long time ago, "God don't make no junk "

There's always beauty in the things created by God and if you believe this then you know in your heart you're not ugly.

You need to love yourself before you love someone else if you feel this way.

And you never need a man to validate that you are the best thing that God made because he made the best for last.

I don't care if you're missing and eye, born without legs, or have teeth that look like a buzz saw edge. God made you and you are what you are and you make the best of that.

Often I look at my big hips, big stomach and big butt and I'm angry at what I see, but I always know I have the power to change. I DO!

So if you look in the mirror and don't like what you see, please make sure you love the inside more than the outside before you go changing.

I know this is cruel to say, but you don't want to have what's good o nthe inside and try to change the outside and then end up like Kayne West's mother. (I'm so sorry for his loss.)

Everything You Want to Know about Orgasms

Note to Reader: when i saw this, first I was just going to keep it to myself, but I thought, hey, I should share this baby like it aint' funny. Oh man, you've got to read this and then come back and comment!


http://love.ivillage.com/lnssex/sexorgasm/0,,traceycox_c4qgbvt5,00.html?nlcid=ls11-08-2007


by Tracey Cox (see more from this contributor)

What do orgasms feel like? How can you have multiple orgasms? Plus: What's the most effective way to achieve simultaneous orgasms? Read on for all that and more!

What Does An Orgasm Feel Like?I asked a cross-section of women to describe how they feel when they orgasm. "No problem," they all responded enthusiastically, promising to email me within the hour…except it wasn't quite as easy as they thought. "It's really hard trying to put it into words," one woman said. And she's right. For such a powerful, immense sensation, words suddenly seem inadequate. But after much cajoling (and promises of free drinks next time I saw them), here's what they came up with:

"I have to concentrate on a fantasy to orgasm. And often they're things I'd never want to happen in reality. My favorite fantasy at the moment involves my boyfriend sneaking off to the pub and picking up some girls with a friend of his. His friend then has intercourse with one, while he has oral sex with the other girl on the bed beside him. I time my orgasm to coincide with where I'm at in the fantasy. I put myself in the girl's place and imagine what she'd be feeling during oral sex."

READ MORE AT:
http://love.ivillage.com/lnssex/sexorgasm/0,,traceycox_c4qgbvt5,00.html?nlcid=ls11-08-2007

Sex and the Committed Couple

Think being single is the recipe for a happy sex life? Think again. As it turns out, it's not the singles who are swinging from the chandeliers (or if they are, they're not enjoying it so much). It seems that if you want to fool around, you should settle down.

READ MORE AT:

http://www.drlauraberman.com/public/passionfiles/passionfiles.aspx?issueid=9450

Momma's Lies-Daddy's pain

I found the subject of the book to be kept too quiet in our community and that it should be discussed. So I tracked down the author, Brian Smith to answer my questions and highlight his book to bring to light something we don't discuss, but we all know that is happening.








LABW: What made you come up with the premise of the novel?



BRIAN: 1. The book Mama's Lies - Daddy's Pain is "loosely" based on my life. I raised a young girl for 17 years and although I had suspicions that she might not be my child, I never really had any solid proof that she wasn't. I decided to accept the responsibility because I felt that it would have been selfish of me to disrupt the child's life in pursuit of the truth; however, I knew that I had a fundamental right to know the truth; therefore, I did decide to pursue the truth after I saw to it that she graduated high school and became a young adult. Shortly before her 18th birthday I had a DNA test done, and sure enough, my suspions were true. It cost me a lot of emotional pain and more approximately $100,000 in child support and other forms of financial support (e.g., braces, private schools, etc.).

LABW: Do you think that this problem is more rampant that what we make of it?

BRIAN: 2. Most people know it goes on in black community, it's just a taboo topic. Often times, someone in our family has done this so it isn't spoken of because it hits too close to home. I conducted an informal poll when I started writing Mama's Lies - Daddy's Pain. I stood outside two different shopping malls in Dallas, TX and interviewed 100 black women. I was shocked to discover that 74 out of the 100 women interviewed either knew a man who had been falsely accused of being a child's father OR knew a woman who had deliberately lied about the true identity of her child's father.


LABW: Do you think the media doesn't take this issue seriously enough and they leave too much to the corny talk shows and use it as a joke?

BRIAN I think that people (especially women) don't take it serious enough. I believe that many women have become desensitized. There are so many "deadbeat" dads out there, that many women seem to think that it's no big deal if a few men get "played" because so many women get stuck supporting children by themselves everyday. Many women don't care until the man who gets "played" is their son, brother, fiance, nephew, father, husband, etc.


LABW: Why do you feel men don't get the necessary testing when things like this happen? Income? Pride? Or just not enough education about women?


BRIAN: In my case it was a little bit of ego, finances, and simply unsure. I'm 38 years old. When I first had a suspicion the child wasn't mine I was 21 and the child was about five years old. Back then, DNA testing wasn't readily available. Besides, I was told by the child support office that even if I did have proof that the child wasn't mine, I'd already accepted financial responsibility (because the child had my last name) and I would have to pay the child support anyway. Also, I felt like it was a "catch 22" because if I pursued my suspicions I would be labeled as another black man trying to get out of taking care of his responsibility. I decided to put the child's well-being first and wait until she was older and more mature before I got the DNA test, and I still get criticized to this day for not getting a test sooner - you're damned if you do and damned if you don't.


LABW: Should the legal system crack down on women who do this, and prosecute them?

BRIAN: It's classified as FRAUD in the courts. As with any FRAUD case, you have to prove that it was deliberate. You have to damn near have a written confession from the woman before a judge will rule in your favor. All the woman has to do is "play dumb" and most of the times she can get away with. Even if the man is releaved of his responsibilty to pay child support for a child he discovers isn't his, the odds are great he will never be reimbursed all the money he spent up to that point - the system is jacked up. That's one of the reasons I wrote the book - there is a lot of stuff people don't know. I've been asked to speak at high schools to teenage boys and let them know that this is just another pitfall (along with STD's) of having unprotected sex. I get a lot of emails from single mother's raising young men thanking me for the book. Many of them have given the book to their sons and nephews and made them read it.

To get a more indepth feeling of Brian Smith, check out his audio interview on The Ferguson Literary Hour radio show with Essence Best Selling author, Torrian Ferguson.





http://66.49.247.8/Ferguson_Literary_Hour_10-23-07.mp3

OTHER BOOKS BY THIS AUTHOR CLICK HERE

Author's Website

http://www.hollygrovepublishing.com/

I would like to know how many of you know of situations out like this and if so would you think about telling.

The reason this hit me so powerfully was just that a week prior to seeing Brian's book, I found out that a friend was allowing her longtime off and on boyfriend to think he had fathered a child. I was aghasted to know she had carried this secret with her for so long and even had the child who was going on fourteen believe it was this man when in truth it was another one. She choose to do this because he was the better bread winner and she knew he would take better care of the child than the real father would, who is still broke, out of a job and still hustling on the street at fourty years.

The guy in question came to an event I did and I so wanted to blurt it out to him and I felt so bad because he's paying for this child and he loves this child and I'm in the predicament of telling him or keeping the secret my friend asked me to keep.

What would you do?

WHAT MAKES A BLACK WOMAN CONTENT?

As a person who admittedly has much to say, when it came to this blog, I thought I had pretty much covered it all when it came to Black women and what it takes to be content. However, I recently was informed otherwise.

I had two recent encounters that led me to believe I needed to address the issue of the contentment of Black women.

Read More at:


http://whyblackwomenareangry.blogspot.com/2007/10/what-makes-black-woman-content.html

Who Is Sara Baartman? Every black woman should know her name

It started way before this. Meet the first video vixen.

My heart cries out for her and we need to start using the brains between our ears instead of the one between our legs in order to succeed and gain our pride and strength back.

Romantic Kissing Guide

Kissing is the simplest act of romance, yet it can be the most erotic, sensual, and loving act of romance. Many times, we forget just how wonderful kissing can truly be... whether it's a good make out session or a tender kiss to say "I Love You".

Definition of a Kiss

kiss-v. 1. to touch or caress with the lips, as in affection or greeting.But a kiss can be so much more. A kiss can express and arouse so many different emotions and feelings.One of the best things about kissing is that it never gets boring! There are so many different ways to vary a simple kiss that will keep you occupied for hours! We have a large collection of different types of kisses to jump start your kissing creativity.

History of Kissing

Humans have a long history of kissing. Europeans kiss both cheeks. Parents kiss their child's cheek. The Intuit rub noses. The french kiss by... ;). Kissing, both casual and romantic, is a common practice, but but we really don't know where or how it began.There are several different theories as to how kissing all began:

In ancient times, a mother would chew up food and pass it directly to the mouth of her baby. What started as a sign of affection between mother and child most likely spread to romantic relation ships. However, some cultures had the same practice of passing food to their children, but knew nothing about kissing.

Some believed that our souls lived in our breath and that kissing brings your soul together, thus combining you together for eternity. This is a romantic theory, but not really one that can be proven true.

Kissing gets you close enough to your partner to smell their scent, giving you knowledge of the person. Animals practice a similar behavior by rubbing against each other. The theories are just that though. There is no proof or record of where and how kissing originally began. We do know that Europeans were kissing during the Greek and Roman times. It also appears that some form of kissing may have started in India as there are texts from around 1500 B.C. that describe the custom of rubbing noses together, now commonly referred to as 'Eskimo Kissing'.

While we don't know for sure when or where kissing first began, the reference to 'Eskimo Kissing' supports the theory that kissing gets you close to your partner in order to pick up on their scent. When you inhale your partner's scent, you subconsciously learn a lot about the other person by their smell. As we previously noted, most animals engage in a similar behavior.It seems then that the modern romantic kiss most likely evolved as a way of unconsciously testing the genetic fitness of a potential mate. While this may be the underlying reason as to why we began kissing, it's not really the main reason as to why we continue to practice it.

The reason is simple: it feels good, it evokes feelings of passion, and it's a physical connectio n between ourselves and our partners.However the kiss began, we're thankful. :)


Writer Anonymous... Forwarded from another site...

A BLACK WOMAN'S SMILE BY TY GRAY EL:

SPOKEN WORD JENA SIX

I thought this might be of interest: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rPBH57BWhpE

12 THINGS THAT MEN REALLY WISH THAT WE KNEW AND FULLY UNDERSTOOD

by Carmen Wharton

Ladies (Men, check me on this):

Based on my conversations with men lately, there are 12 things that men really wish that we knew and fully understood:

1. He does not read minds. Tell him what you really want, need and desire.

2. If you sleep with him early in the relationship, he will respect you less
or not at all.

3. Having sex with you does not mean he loves you, wants a
commitment, etc. Having sex with you means he wanted to have sex with you.
Period.

4. If he wants your help he will ask for it. Please do not give him
unsolicited advice.

5. If he treats you badly, hurts your feelings, etc., you must stand up to him.

6. He does not like arguing with you. He’d much rather come to a quick compromise.

7. He does not always know what he is feeling and that’s why he cannot share his feelings with you.

8. Just because he is quiet does not mean that he is upset, considering leaving you,
etc. He just doesn’t feel like talking – possibly for one reason or a number of
reasons. Respect his solitude.

9. He wants a good looking woman on his arm. Do not ignore your appearance and let yourself go.

10. He wants to be respected above everything else. He desires respect more than love.

11. He does not want to hear about your ex – for any reason – not even to make a point.

12.If he says one thing but does another thing, go with what he does. His actions speaks louder (most of the time).

Carmin Wharton is a relationship coach, speaker and the author of Lessons Learned: While Looking for Love in All the Wrong Faces. Sign up for her free newsletter subscription by visiting her site, www.carminwharton.com. She is also the founder of the business networking group e-BlackWomenNetwork.com.

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