Joyfully Ever After Marriage Newsletter

September/October 2009 Joyfully Ever After Newsletter    Celebrate the Season!   A few weeks ago, when it became apparent that fall was approaching, I admit that I felt a little melancholy. It was barely August when we already began to notice acorns falling from the trees and squirrels digging holes in the yard. Retailers began discounting patio furniture and started their back-to-school sales campaigns. Then by Labor Day, Halloween decorations were already on display. My husband Rick and I agreed that we'd been "cheated" out of our summer because the weather had been so often rainy and unseasonably cold here in Michigan. However, if viewed with a "glass half full" mindset, I realize that we're fortunate because we had several weeks to begin to wrap our brains around the fact that autumn was approaching. Now it's here and personally, I'm grateful because if nothing else it means God has blessed me to see another season. During no other season does He show off His majestic artistry than when He uses His gilded palate to paint the canvas that is our world. I like to think of it as redecorating the landscape and the horizon. So rather than lament over the fall season, I chose to embrace it as God's handiwork and emulate by making a few changes in and around my home. You don't have to hire an interior decorator to do so; in fact it's more fun to allow your own creative juices to flow. Changing your immediate surroundings can not only improve your mood, but studies have shown that having well appointed aesthetics in the home and work environment contribute to better health. There is an ancient Asian philosophy called Fen Shui which recognizes how the body and spirit are affected by physical surroundings. I am keenly attuned to the fact that textures, scents, colors and even sounds can have both positive and negative effects on our physical and emotional well being - and routinely make conscious efforts to keep a pleasant, peaceful atmosphere in our home. There are lots of cost effective ways to incorporate changes in your home's décor. Here are just a few: 1. Use pillows, throw rugs and curtains in varied hues of red, gold, brown and green 2. Strategically position scented candles, plug-in air fresheners or oil infusers throughout your home using the smell of autumn (such as apple-cinnamon or pumpkin spice) 3. Surround your exterior with live fall flowers. Hardy Mums come in a vast array of colors and like their name are sturdy enough to last until mid-November 4. Change your furniture around. Be creative and don't be afraid to move some pieces from one room to another 5. Add an indoor water treatment such as a table or desktop waterfall 6. Go on a family road trip to see the breathtaking fall scenery. Take photos of trees and wildlife preparing for fall, then display them in beautiful frames. These are only a few suggestions for welcoming the new season. Embrace life, live in the moment!   "Venus   Fall Home Maintenance Tips Ideas to keep you warm and safe. . .   Schedule your fall furnace tune up. This important maintenance will most likely pay for itself in system efficiency and longevity. Change your furnace filter. Changing the filter regularly increases operating efficiency, reduces the chance of a break-down, and improves air quality in the home. If you have questions, call a certified and/or licensed heating technician. Clean out gutters. Hire someone or do it yourself, but make sure you don 't forget! Clean gutters to prevent clogging and the possibility of other damage. Have fireplace checked. A professional check is essential once a year. Burn only well seasoned hardwoods in your fireplace. Winterize your gas powered lawn equipment for winter storage.  At the end of the season, remove the oil and spark plugs from your lawn mower.  Also lightly oil your tools. Remove garden hoses from outside faucets and store. Frozen hoses can cause pipes to burst. Check weather stripping and caulking around doors and windows. Eliminating drafts can significantly improve efficiency and comfort. Check your air conditioning unit. Most units don't require covers, however, you'll want to make sure your unit is free of leaves and grass debris from fall cleanups. Use a brush or vacuum cleaner to clean the exterior surface if it gets dirty. See your dealer to order or replace a cover. Have winter supplies readily available. If your area gets snow, make sure you have salt, snow shovels with curved blades (to protect your back), and other supplies on hand. Check the batteries in your flashlights. Leaves. Use a high pressure hose to spray leaves into a pile. The wet leaves compress into trash bags more efficiently or can be added to a mulch pile. When leaves are wet, the wind won't blow them around the yard again. Windows & Screens  Before heating starts, take your vacuum cleaner hose nozzle off the wand and thoroughly suction out window sills to do away with cobwebs, insects and leaf parts. Also, rather than washing window screens, use the vacuum nozzle to suction them. It's so much easier than taking the screens out one at a time, using a garden hose, etc. Store and replace with storm windows wherever possible.   Don't Forget! Chimney  Have your chimney checked once a year and install a chimney cap to keep out animals and other items that could block the chimney.   "Beloved, I pray that you may prosper in all things and be in health, just as your soul prospers." (3 John 1:2) I would like to share a portion of an eNote I received New Birth Missionary Baptist Church in Georgia regarding our physical well being.   Paul states in 1 Corinthians 6:19-20: "...do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and you are not your own? For you were bouPaul states in 1 Corinthians 6:19-20: "...do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and you are not your own? For you were bought at a price; therefore glorify God in your body and in your spirit, which are God's."   The more we seek God's kingdom first, the more this scripture, along with the rest of His word, will resonate with us.    Examine yourself.  Which category describes you?   You've made the faith and fitness connection and you're striving to keep it strong.   You're aware of God's word and the connection between faith and fitness, but you haven't put what you know into action.    A faith and fitness connection is totally new to you.      No matter which category you're in, my loving advice to you is to stretch farther. Start each day asking   God for a renewed mindset of discipline, self-control and contentment. Then give it all you got. Go to the next level. Create productive habits. Pay closer attention to body functions and reactions. Approach eating differently. Push to incorporate exercise. Set up boundaries. Connect with people who make healthy living a priority.   Whether you're already in a good place or not, fight to make it better. Some say small steps are required for change, while others insist that extreme or drastic measures are the only way. Whatever works for you, do it. But know that successful change can't happen without consistency.     Remember, I'm on this journey with you. God Bless.     Bishop Eddie L. Long Sr. Pastor New Birthday Missionary Baptist Church    Walk it off!     It delights God when we use the limbs He designed. He inhabits it as praise just like any other form of praise--singing, playing instruments, clapping, etc.   Walking is an excellent opportunity to meet with God and pray. It's a chance to witness His wondrous creations on the land and in the sky. It's an opportunity to hear from Him. Challenge yourself to go to make a commitment to meet with God in a special place every week.   While you praise Him with your legs, you'll also reap the physical blessings and rewards of walking...  > Walking lowers blood pressure. > Walking strengthens the heart. > Walking reduces bad cholesterol. > Walking helps to control weight. > Walking relieves stress. > Walking improves joint mobility. > Walking improves balance and circulation. > Walking prevents heart disease. > Walking reduces the risk of stroke. > Walking improves mood. > Walking contributes to brain fitness. Confidential Connie Writes...   My husband and I have been married for 13 years.  I've been a Christian for the past three yeas but he still doesn't go to church.  I see to it that our 9 and 11 year old sons attend church and participate in activities for their age.  He doesn't mind that they go but when they sometimes resists he says they don't have to go if they don't want to.  My 11 year old seems to be leaning more toward his father's ways every day.  I'm feeling frustrated with him and I'm also afraid that his indifference will affect our children when they're old enough to choose.  My patience with him is running out! ---J.M., Smyrna, GA     The enemy is literally hell bent on dividing husbands and wives; and to destroy the family unit.  My advice is to pray for your husband's salvation and that you live a life that would make him want to have the joy that you have within.  Pray for your children as well and continue to expose them to wholesome Christian living.  Teach them about the love of God and allow them to learn about unconditional love by the way you treat your husband. Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husband; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives; while they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear (reverence or respect). I Peter 3:1-2  Nagging and threatening hell fire rarely motivates an unsaved person to come to Christ.  Also, be sure that you're maintaining a balanced life.  In other words, be sure that your homefront is well covered and that you are not neglecting your responsibilities as a loving, affectionate wife and a caring mother while attending church or participating in church functions.      Below is an excerpt of a related article from the archives of Marriage Partnership online magazine: "Expect your spouse to be unreasonable about spiritual things," writes Jo Berry. "[Your] godliness is threatening, convicting and confusing." But that doesn't make an unbeliever the enemy. In the chronicle of her own marriage, Bebe Nicholson warns that such an attitude will sabotage your relationship and ruin even the best efforts to be effective examples of Christ's love (When a Believer Marries a Nonbeliever [Priority Publishing]). Self-pity, Nicholson writes, projects the attitude, "I could've done better in the marriage department" and is a refusal to accept God's sovereignty in all matters. Self-righteousness not only hinders compassion but, if left unchecked, easily turns to contempt and hatred. "God created us to be lovers," writes Nicholson. "The more we love God, the more open our hearts are to loving each other. ... The strength of our love for our partner can draw [him] toward Christ and bring glory to God." Until that happens, there are some practical things believers can do to help bridge the spiritual gap and help themselves stay spiritually strong.   Live in the now. Accept your relationship for what it is and concentrate on cultivating peace and happiness. Instead of striving to alter your circumstances, set your mind on enjoying your life. Find what's good now and build on it. The loudest form of evangelism is a life that's changed. Gary Oliver, executive director of the Center for Marriage and Family Studies at John Brown University, counsels believers to show Christ in the little things, like taking out the trash and vacuuming. "I let my husband know I'm glad I'm married to him," said Margaret, "and I never talk about him without him knowing about it first." At Bible study, Julie told me she honors her unequal-yoke marriage by not filling her calendar with church events. She and the kids go to Sunday morning services, and she attends Bible study and events like MOPS during the week. But when her husband is home, he's her priority. Jeanne Hendricks adds, "It might not be easy, but it speaks volumes when you let your spouse know, 'I like you as a person.' When wives honor their husbands by making them feel appreciated and good about themselves just as they are, it often softens their hearts to the things of God." Find common ground and have fun together. My friend Jodi makes a list of things she and her husband enjoy: swimming, watching Star Trek movies, vintage cars and sex. Stay affectionate. Gary Oliver says both sexual and nonsexual touch are important and cautions (women especially) against shutting down physically. "Although it's difficult for women to remain open physically when they feel they can't share the most important part of who they are, men especially need touch. Sexual touch reaches him at his core. When a wife enjoys her husband, he feels loved, valued and appreciated." Prayer is our link to God's presence, power, wisdom and comfort. You might pray for conviction of sin and godly sorrow that leads to repentance (2 Cor. 7:10); that God will take a spouse's heart of stone and replace it with a heart of flesh (Ezek. 36:26); wisdom, courage, discernment and opportunities to speak. Cultivate your relationship with Christ. It's crucial to maintain Christian fellowship, Bible reading and prayer. If you can, join a small group and have them pray with you for your unsaved mate. God knows what he's doing, and he knows those who are his (2 Tim. 2:19). Trust that he will do what's best for you and your spouse. We have this hope: "God is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance" (2 Pet. 3:9). That means there's hope for your spouse-and hope for mine.   Read the entire article Power Up!  Introducing the Mason-Dixon Relationship Line Blogtalk Internet Radio Show! I will be teaming up with Minister/Author/Marriage Advocate Christina Dixon   The Real 411 on Marriage!    Call in bi-weekly on Tuesdays @10:30 a.m. Beginning October 1   347.989.8396   log on: Mason and Dixon on the air October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month   I'm teaming up with the Greater Grace Temple Powerful Women of Purpose to walk for the cure! Please help me reach my personal goal to raise a minimum $500.00 for the Making Stride of Detroit Walk for the Cure.  Making Strides of Detroit Saturday, October 10, 2009 Belle Isle Park        Option 1 - $10.00       Option 2 - $20.00                                                               Option 3 - $50.00                                              Live at 5!  Saturday, October 5th Been There, Done That, Now What? The gloves come off in this totally transparent discussion featuring... Darryl and Cozette Ford also, Special Guest, Stephanie L. Jones, Author of The Enemy Between My Legs   and Diarra Dee, Praise Dancer Presented by The Bible Motivate Women Evangelist Lou Anne Stewart, Founder  This is event is free - All are welcome   Thursday October 15 - Saturday October 17 Ladies, get ready for a Mountain Moving experience by attending the Greater Grace Temple Power Women of Purpose Retreat.  Held at the Spectacular Doubletree Guest Suites Hotel in Downtown Detroit, this retreat will deliver a refreshing renewal for your mind, body and certainly for your soul!  Meet me there!  Registration Fee: $105 *Hotel Reservations not included.    Register for the conference Click here for hotel reservations Forward email

Event: The Fuller Woman Expo- Detroit

I thought this was an interesting event for "women like me".... The Fuller Woman Expo- Detroit September 19 10am- 8pm Hotel St Regis Ball Room 3071 West Grand Boulevard Detroit, MI 48202 Mission: The goal of the Fuller Woman Expo is to empower the plus-size woman to recognize her internal and external beauty; to educate and motivate through workshops and seminars,while provinding information on the products and/or services available to them through various companies across the world. Join us as we celebrate who you are, right now Keynote Speaker DeLores Pressley A confidence and life strategist, is known for her electrifying and exhilarating performance as a speaker, author and consultant. She is a leading authority on helping take confidence to the next level and releasing personal power. Jennene Biggins-Foundation Workshop In November 1997, Jennene founded the Voluptuous Woman Company (VWC) based out of Silver Spring, Maryland. The Voluptuous Woman Company's motto is "Size is Just a Number..Not a Limitation.™" The company serves as a positive voice for the plus-size woman and offers informative, spiritual and empowering events such as networking receptions, conferences and other special events specifically designed to encourage plus-size women to live life to the fullest Runway modeling 101- Mia Amber As a model Mia Amber has worked with Richard Metzger, Monif C., Queen Latifah for Curvation, Abby Z., Lane Bryant and many others. Mia has graced the covers and pages of numerous magazines and has appeared on countless television shows. This past spring Mia was tapped to be the new Creative Editor-At-Large for Plus model magazine. Her first duty in her new role was to go toe to toe with the infamous Janice Dickinson on Oxygen's, "Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency." Mia held her own knowing that she was standing up for the 62% of plus size women in the U.S. Mia believes in stepping out on faith to realize her dreams and travels the country as a speaker at seminars for aspiring models. Mia Amber recently began a new venture adding burgeoning style maven to her resume with the creation of, Mia Amber Style. Through it, Mia hopes to guide aspiring models as a Style Consultant. VIXEN FITNESS: FIT, FUN AND FANTASY Danielle Green Vixen Fitness was founded by Danielle Green, a Metro-Detroit native. She was introduced to pole dancing in 2005 as a birthday gift from friends. She immediately became addicted to the feeling of confidence she experienced while experiementing with such an empowering art form. During this journey Danielle developed a passion for fitness and encouraging women to explore their sensuality. She started training with other forms of dance and fitness and re-opened in February 2008 with a new vision, a great team of instructors and exciting new classes. In January 2009 she became a certified group fitness instructor and is currently studying for her certification in Personal Training. The classes were designed with "real" everyday women in mind that want to experience alternative fitness regimens, get a great work out and explore their sensuality in a safe, supportive and non-judgmental environment with other women of like interest. The Fuller Woman Expo-Detroit is proud to introduce a panel discussion entitled "Evolution of the Curvy Revolution" Led by Karen Love Chief Operating Officer Michigan Chronicle/Publisher, Michigan FrontPage The plight of plus modeling-Gwendolyn Devoe CEO and Founder of the Plus Model Academy of New York ,DeVoe Signature Events and the Executive Producer of "Full Figured Fashion Week" The beginnings of the movement-Sharon Dumas-Pugh, founder Full and Fabulous http://www.fullandfab... Women in cinema-Oya Amakis- ceo Detroit Women of Color Film Festival http://www.dwcfilmfes... Lifestyle-Thriving in your Curves-Stephanie Penn-Danforth-Managing editor of Venus Diva Magazine http://venusdivamag.c... Medical Perspective- Dr.Cynthia Jones M.D.,F.A.C.S. Chief of Staff, Lincoln Medical Center http://lincoln-surgic... Fitness-Jenna Vaught Ms. Plus America Elite 2007-2008 http://www.jennavaugh... Plus journalism Johara Tucker-Founder editor and chief of "Luvinmycurves" http://luvinmycurves.... The day will end in a full scale fashion showcase "Curves in Motion" sponsored by Lane Bryant Outlet-offering some of the best in fashion and entertainment from across the country to put you in a "curvy state of mind" Featuring international recording artist L'Renee Fashions by Qrystal Frazier designs of New York-Featured on Project Runway Season 6 La'Dans Closet-New Jersey B.G.U. -New York Envy Us- Detroit Mochachasis-Detroit Candi-Apple Couture-Toronto Feline-Toronto The Black Dress-Detroit B-Flyy Creations-Detroit Tickets are only $10 for the entire day!!! Join us as we celebrate who you are, right now!

EVENT: Oprah Winfrey, Tyra Banks, and CNN Guest Expert Comes to Detroit

Sylvia Hubbard's Stories Oprah Winfrey, Tyra Banks, and CNN Guest Expert Comes to Detroit Posted: 15 Sep 2009 12:42 PM PDT Tony Gaskins Jr., Motivational Speaker and Author of the bestselling book, What Daddy Should Have Told His Little Girl and more, including Stephanie L. Jones and Sylvia Hubbard will be at the I AM... Read free stories from romance suspense, sensual noir author from Detroit, Sylvia Hubbard Read more at: http://sylviahubbard.com/blog Sylvia Hubbard Author, Blogger and Founder of Motown Writers Network & The African American Electronic Literary Network Author of Romance & Suspense and Internet Marketing for Writers & Business NOW AVAILABLE: Secrets, Lies and Family Ties order your copy now Coming Soon: Tanner's Devil www.redrosepublishing.com Connect with me on Facebook http://facebook.com/sylviahubbard & Twitter.com @ username: sylviahubbard1

THE FICTIONALIZED TRUTH BY angelia Vernon menchan

I absolutely love it when folks read a synopsis or blog about my books and they say;
“That sounds like real life…”
I have to remind them that I coined the phrase, ‘Fictionalized Truths’…
When I first published my work, three years ago…
I have seen others use it, but it is all to the goodness, because imitation,
Is truly the sincerest form of flattery,..
Anyway,
The reason I wrote about life-like stuff,
Is because from the cradle,
I have been the observer of,
Listener to,
And liver of realness,
I can remember the stories of my grandmother, godmother, mother and aunts,
They were all larger than life divas,
And lived out so much,
So while I was being seen and not heard,
I was listening and preparing for this writing thing,
Tightening up my game so to speak,
When I sit down to write, all I know is that I am going to bring it,
As genuine and real as I know it to be,
I will write about love,
Happiness,
But I am also going to write about,
Hate and pain,
I will also make sure my flawed characters show some goodness,
And my good characters show some flaws,
Because books are life,
And life is in books,
So when people say,
“I have never read anything quite like that”…
Or,
‘Wow, do people really live like that?’
Or the infamous,
‘Do you know those people?”
Or oh my God,
‘Is she you?’
I smile cryptically and say,
“Honey, only I know for sure…’
And that is,
‘The Fictionalized Truth…”

angelia Vernon menchan
www.angeliavmenchan.com
http://acvermen.blogspot.com

MRS. BLACK? September 11, 2009

READ A Chapter One Excerpt on Shelia Goss' Blog

 

http://sheliagoss.com/2009/09/11/mrs-black-excerpt-by-my-favorite-author-angelia-menchan/

 

THANKS, GRACIAS, DANKE SCHON!

 

Post your comments below:

"You Are The Gift" by Monica Marie Jones

Greetings!

Last Month I had the pleasure of being the key note speaker at the "You Are the Gift" Conference for Girls.  Here is an excerpt from my speech....

"You Are The Gift"

What do you use to measure your worth?  What do you use to measure your value?  Is it the clothes you wear? Is it the person you are dating?  Is it what others think of you?  Is it the amount of money you have? Is it your size?  Is it the shade of your skin?

The truth is that we often base how we feel about ourselves on many of the factors listed above...but do those things truly make us happy?  At the end of the day, are we fulfilled, or do we find ourselves always wanting more, no matter how much we have?  A better car, a bigger house, newer clothes, longer hair, a smaller waist....

We find a small bit of happiness in these things, but as soon as someone says something bad about us it knocks us off of our rocker.  We usually do one of two things...We try to prove them wrong...or we believe them. 

How we feel about ourselves cannot be based on how we look, what we have, or what others think about us because what happens when we don't have those things anymore?  What happens when those people are no longer in our lives, what happens when our looks fade or change?

For most of my life I remember thinking that if I lost weight, then I'd be happy. As a result  I changed my lifestyle, started exercising, ate right, and lost 65 pounds.  I got a lot more compliments and attention... but there was just one thing that was missing.  I still was not happy.  I did not know my value, I did not know my worth, I didn't realize that I was a gift.  All that I needed was already inside of me.

Let's talk about that for a minute.  Let's talk about what I mean, or what it looks like when I say that you are the gift. 

Think about a person that you find to be intriguing.  What is it about that person that makes them so interesting?  Nine times out of ten it is something that you just can't describe.  They walk into a room and their presence is felt.  People are drawn to them. It's almost like that person has a glow.  It really has nothing to do with that person's looks...there's just something about them....

They have that SWAG...now what is swag?  Is it something that you can see? Is it something that you can buy? Is it something that you can learn?  No, it is something that we all have inside of us, we just don't realize it.

Let me break it down like this. SWAG.... S-W-A-G

The S stands for Something... There is something about these people that we just can't quite wrap our minds around, something that makes them stand out in a crowd. Not necessarily how they look, what they are wearing, or what they have...just something.

The W stands for Within...  It's something within because clearly we can't quite describe it and we can't see it, but we know that it's there.

The A stands for Awesome...It makes us want to know that person, be that person's friend, be around that person.

The G stands for Gift.  They are the gift, they have the gift, it's inside of them and it's glowing on the outside...

S.W.A.G.     =    Something Within...Awesome Gift...

You see my friends, these are the people that KNOW that they are the gift.  When you know that you are the gift, anything is possible. 

Sometimes people spell SWAG with two G's. ...SWAGG

That last G is silent, sometimes you don't see it, but it's ever present...That last G is God. Something  Within...Awesome Gift...God.  God is the gift, God Gives you the Gift, God is in you.  That thing that people see shining through is the God in you. 

That's the realization that I had to come to. How dare I talk negatively about myself?  How dare I think I am not cute enough, or too fat?  I am a child of God, and denying myself...denying that I am the gift, is like denying God.

God is in me so how dare I not love myself.  How can I say that I love God if I do not love myself?  Loving yourself is knowing that you are the gift.  Knowing that you are the gift, is loving yourself.

Now that you know, you have no excuse. You've got SWAG. It's in you, now you should adjust accordingly.  The change may not happen overnight, but here are a few steps to get you started...

• When someone gives you a complement, simply say thank you (accepting a compliment is like saying, "I know that I am the Gift")

• When you enter a room hold your head high, and look everyone in the eye...you think no one notices you?  You think no one's checking you out, how could you know when you've had your head down for so long. Lift it up and let that beautiful light shine through your eyes and your smile.

• Next time someone tries to mess with you or talk bad about you look them in the eye and smile...Laugh even.... But in your head I want you to say... "Do you know who I am?  Better yet?  Do you know who's I am?  You better ask somebody!" 

You've Got that SWAG...You Are the Gift!

Up until the SWAG Book Release Experience on Friday September 25th, 2009 at 5pm the book will be available at a discounted rate for pre-order. Get your copy before anyone else!

"Beyond the engaging backdrop of reality TV and the entertainment world, Monica Marie Jones' great novel SWAG illustrates to us, through a main character I grew to love, how to open ourselves to all the opportunities and blessings that are before us."

~Shōn Bacon, author, editor, educator

 

Our Price: $12.00
List Price: $15.95
S & H: $3.00

CLICK HERE TO ORDER NOW!

As always, thank you so much for all of your support. I appreciate you. :) Sincerely, Monica Marie Jones, CEO Inspirationista Ink! The Literary Loft www.monicamariejones.com

Please don't give a Joe Wilson Apology when you make a mistake

Being sorry when you have done something majorly wrong is the worse feeling of all, but accepting the apology from someone who had done something majorly wrong is even harder.

Last night GOP Rep Joe Wilson was "over emotional" and heckled President Obama during his speech by shouting out "liar."

WTH!

Yes! That's was I said. Was this high school? No. Was this middle school? No! This was a political floor where people have sweated blood and tears to build and respect and in one instance of impropriety some nutshell decides to disgrace the government arena.

Here's my rant I posted on CNN about this:
Public office at all times should be held in high regard especially for the person sitting in the office itself.

PUBLIC office appearances no matter the situation (whether its in a good or bad situation) should never EVAH be negative.

I don't think I can accept his apology at this time, because:

1. It wasn't heartfelt enough (Issuing a "statement" to the press about your emotional state is like Mike Tyson holding up a sign after he bit the ear off with I'm Sorri on it. (And yes I meant the small i on the end).

2. Oh please. An apology to just the president? You owe the people who put you in office an apology and people who are in like positions such as you for disgracing a public office.

3. I'm not feeling it. Really i'm not. you meant it and you're going to have to do a lot more to convince me you really meant this apology.


Now if you are a person that did something wrong there are a million and one articles on the Internet that can tell you that sorry is a five letter word. What you have to remember is action speaks louder than any words you could possibly use. You must also remember another word: Patience. It's going to take a lot of time for that other person to get over being angry with you. If you try to rush it, and get angry because you'll make the situation worse.

Be sincere in your apology. No letters, no facebook status messages and no tweets please to the other person about how sorry you are. Only a verbal apology immediately once you realized you have wronged the other person.

After that you must wait before you can feel like you are forgiven. You don't necessarily have to walk on eggshells, but be mindful of that other person's fragile emotional state.

HOW DO YOU FORGIVE?

Now as I say with all my posts, I'm not an expert. I haven't had any formal training but I have my PhD in life experiences. For this situation, the person that has to forgive must. Did you hear what I said... I said, that you must forgive them.It could be the worse thing in the whole world, but if you hold on to that anger, you will not only hurt the person around you, but yourself emotionally and others as well. Let it go!

After the person apologizes, take a breather. I usually say the maximum breather in any relationship when the person has a right to be angry is 72  hours. Yes, girls, I'm being specific because guys like time periods. That means cut out all quiet treatments, attitudes and all other forms of "i'm going to get you back because you did or said something bad to me."

If you really want to be with this person or have to deal with this person, just do it. Don't allow your person angst to get in the way of getting things done.

I know its hard. They hurt your feelings and even if their apology sucked worse than sour lemons, just find a way to get through it and get on with life.

Don't like one Joe Wilson monkey stop no show.

And that's all I have to say about that.

Shoes and Words: Is there a common link?

Guest post by Danielle from http://itssonicetobenice.com


I love looking at fashion, but I’m definitely far from being a clothes horse or shoe fanatic. Actually, I haven’t been shopping in a few months. I do understand that many people are, however. I know a number of people that love shoes, buy shoes before they have an outfit to match, and would fight if you tried to pry a coveted pair from their hands.

I’m sure you’ve heard stories, seen pictures, or you might just be a shopaholic yourself….and there’s nothing wrong with this at all. We all have things that we like and might possibly collect. I love tea pots and have a beautiful fledgling collection.

But I know people who can spend hours looking for the right pair of shoes, making sure they match their outfit to a T, making sure they’ll have the baddest pair in the club, work, or church.
And again, I really don’t think there’s anything wrong with such behavior, as long as you’re not going broke.
I do have a problem, however, when our image (that we work so hard on) doesn’t reflect who we really are. Looking like a church going man or woman, professional, or a prince, but speaking without control, substance, or foresight…..

Last week, as I waited for a seminar to begin, I wrote a poem in response to this frustration. The focus was learning to choose the appropriate words, learning to be strategic with our word choice….sort of like we are with our shoes.


Actually, the last line of the poem is ‘choose your words like you choose your shoes.’
I have no idea where the directive came from, but I couldn’t get the simile out of my head. Choose your words like you choose your shoes so they’ll match your motive, your character, the person to whom you’re speaking, and the image that your trying to project.

Most importantly, choose your words like you choose your shoes so you can show love, be a blessing, be heard, be effective, and encounter the least resistance.

Any thoughts? Is it impossible to be more conscious of the words we use? Is our language and word choice set in stone? Can our vernacular change at 30 or 40? What other similes would you use to compare to word choice?


visit Danielle's wonderful blog at: http://itssonicetobenice.com. It's an inspiring and uplifting read!

Behind every good story there's a love story

I know we usually don't talk about movies on this board unless there's a relationship issue with it.

With the much hyped about James Cameron movie Avatar coming out there soon, I thought I should just talk about the title of this blog.

Behind every good story there's a love story...

As you watch the movie there, there's a mixture of science fiction, a lot of action, but then at the very very end of the trailer, he shows us the one thing that will touch us...

love.

I thought just the trailer was fascination in the way it told the story to the movie and I still wonder - or hope - that the movie lives up to the hype and the trailer that seems awesome.

Anyhoo, as someone says Love is a splendid thing (don't know where I heard it, but I seem to recall it being sung.)
If you ever think of every movie that has come out and received some kind of recognition, you can always say there’s a love story involved.

Not just love between a man and a woman, but man and himself, man and the world, man and his people, man and what he believes in. There’s always a love story there to rival whatever action, madness or mystifying material you see.

And it’s not about the love they show (although that 9 ½ Weeks scene was pretty hot), but it’s the love that the characters showing love.

We fall for it every time. The Oscars prove that to us by being watched by millions and millions of people each year and the box office tells us on a everyday occasion that people still want to fall in love all the time no matter whatever the type it may be.

And even though it may be the same Cinderella story on the screen we watch it played out every time knowing the results and cheering the victory when the love is finally revealed to us.

How does this relate in real life?

It just goes to show that no love is the same. Each one tells a different story and we cannot predict the way we fall in love with a person will be the similar for us as another.

Allowing the story to play out may be the scariest thing to us though. As much as we want the pulse pounding heart stopping moments that we see on the screen, we are terrified of that happening to us because then we know our weakness does not lie in what’s inside of us anymore. Our weakness lies in someone else and we pray they guard it well and treat it with respect.

But I don’t even think that is the hardest part about love.

I think the hardest part about love is not about finding it and discovering it, but it’s about keeping that love in our lives and sometimes we are our own worst poison when it comes to love.

Ben & Jerry’s Hubby Hubby Flavor Creating Social Stir & 2 reasons Y I LOVE IT!!

Ben & Jerry's Hubby Hubby Flavor Creating Social Stir Ben & Jerry's has never been one to follow the status quo when it comes to their ice cream flavors or their social media marketing tactics. Last month we flipped over their upside down status updates, but their latest move is making an even bigger social statement. The Vermont ice cream maker updated their Twitter account [@cherrygarcia] this morning to inform followers of their latest flavor announcement: Chubby Hubby, an all-time favorite flavor for many, is now named Hubby Hubby. The symbolic statement is a reflection of their partnership with Freedom to Marry [@freedomtomarry], and their desire to "raise awareness of the importance of marriage equality." READ MORE AT MASHABLE.COM http://mashable.com/2009/09/01/hubby-hubby/ I'm loving this for several reasons: 1. A business is actually saying out loud, STAY MARRIED FOLKS! WORK IT OUT!! I think that's wonderful B&J took that and went with it. (Although I've been in love with B&J since the Karmel Sutra Ice Cream...drooling as we even think about it.) 2. I love that they changed Chubby Hubby to Hubby Hubby. As a marketing expert, I applaud them for "reinventing the wheel" while adding a new twist to it without little cost to them. Plus on top on that I'm loving the Hubby Hubby because it's just too close to my last name Hubbard and that's why our cousins called each other as a nickname. Brought back old memories of childhood and close times and how I want that feeling again with someone special I'm married too. Do you feel more big businesses should step forward and do this? Is staying married going to be the new trend when in the 90's it felt like divorce what the trend? What do you think?